MuttonChops

Every year, on January 1, many people promise themselves changes. They make resolutions, vow to follow through, and very few actually see the fruition of the seeds they planted. Often, fear of change is the biggest obstacle. Staying with the status quo is simpler and more predictable than changing routines or situations, even if the outcome would be better. Civil Rights issues have exemplified fears of change for over a century. Relationships are a more personal example. While I am in full support of dedicated partners, I also know that some people stay with a significant other simply because of habit. Marriage vows are wonderful, but they are meant to be a two-way partnership. The balance may shift within the relationship, but there should always be give and take. If one side isn't keeping up his or her end of the deal, why should the "better half" maintain a broken contract? Yet, relationships from marriage to casual dating will continue because the miserable party woul...

A man named Mark saved my life today, and he doesn't know it. When the last student left after taking the exam in my class, it was 3 p.m. I made sure the computers were off, turned out the lights, and locked up the classroom. The building was empty except for the secretary; her husband would pick her up at 5 p.m. When we had looked out the window earlier, snow covered the commons area of the community college campus. By the time I walked out the door, slush covered the brick sidewalks. I shuffled to check out the traction. If the bricks weren't slick, I knew the asphalt should be fairly safe. One other car was on the far side of the parking lot and the snow was coming down fast and thick. I ambled onto the road, driving slowly, but not too worried since the snow was fresh and not icy. The road crested a hill before snaking downwards. I wouldn't have given it much thought except a large SUV was sitting in the left lane with a crushed front end. The nose was pointed toward th...

The holiday season is supposed to fill people with Christmas spirit, glad tidings, and fa-la-la-adry, yet I am meeting more people than ever who seem to be running low on ho-ho-hos. Not only is their cheer missing, they seem to feel guilty and apologetic for their deflated attitude. I must confess, I am among the sojourners of dolefulness. Part of the problem is the retail world's vehemence towards profiteering from the gullibility of consumers. During a time when people should give to others because of caring and loving relationships, the public is inundated with marketing campaigns. Commercialism has saturated the intimacy of a sacred season, and the virus is spreading. Christmas merchandise and decorations were going up in stores before Halloween. Across the aisles from skeletons, cauldrons, and witches' hats were reindeer, stockings, and Santa caps. Spooky laughter and clattering competed with singing elves. The Nightmare Before Christmas is taking on more relevance as ea...

Celebrating a birthday at the movies is not unusual, but a Chicago woman spent two nights in jail for trying to record the event. She now faces up to three years in prison for film piracy charges. The 22-year-old recorded a group of friends singing "Happy Birthday" to her older sister who turned 29. Presents were opened and the gaiety was caught by camera, along with approximately four minutes of the feature film, " New Moon ." The accused claims that she was not filming the movie, voices can be heard, and the focus is on the party subjects, not the feature. I have no reason to doubt that is not the case, and believe authorities should let the incident go with a warning. The main crime here, not punishable by law, is the ruckus this group probably made for the remainder of the audience. Movie tickets are expensive, and I don't tolerate rudeness in a theatre. If you have a phone call, conversation, screaming baby, or other distraction, I will remind you to leave ...

Caregiving doesn't have to be a full-time effort for the duties to be all-consuming. When someone you love needs help of any kind, they stay on your mind, often interrupting your thoughts and efforts towards other obligations. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I find myself neglecting this blog at times. I constantly see topics I wish to address, but my mind is diverted towards my own survival and the needs of my mother. Even though she is in a retirement community, she lives independently, but not self-sufficiently. Thus, my reason for creating a new blog. Muttonchops is designed to address social issues, so rather than sprinkle in unrelated topics, I am creating one that focuses on caregiver issues. Hopefully, I can provide insight and humor, as well as unload my brain of some stress so that I can redirect my energies to more productive endeavors. At least, for now, that's the plan. Feel free to sit in on the Caregiver's Window Seat (http://caregiverswindowseat.blogspot....

My sister lives in the suburbs of Memphis and brought a recent news article to my attention. A mother of two toddlers, ages 2 and 3, left the children at home alone while she and her aunt "ran errands." The house caught on fire killing one child and leaving the younger in critical condition. The fact that the aunt seemed more worried about the condition of her purse and public assistance card than the children only added to public disgust. As I watched the woman speak on camera, I wondered if she was mentally unstable or was drunk. Yet, she was too coherent to be inebriated. I then turned my thoughts to my own 26-month-old granddaughter. I called my daughter to share the report. Incredulous, she said, "Why did they BOTH have to go ... no wait ... they were going to score drugs!" Her answer fits perfectly. It explains why the aunt is so disconnected, why they wouldn't take the kids, and why they'd reason away risks. My daughter went on to conclude that the ch...

As I sat working on the computer, I was also watching " Strait-Jacket " on the Turner Classic Movie Channel. The actress screamed which was louder than the rest of the movie had been. My 20-year-old son came in to see what happened. The following conversation ensued: Me: I'm watching an old Joan Crawford movie. Son: I don't know who she is. Me: Did you ever see "Mommie Dearest"? Son: Yeah Me: That movie was about this actress. Son: Ohhh - the crazy woman. Me: Well, she wasn't crazy - just ... Son: Oh - yeah - right, beating people with wire hangers isn't crazy. Wait -beating CHILDREN isn't crazy! Me: (laughing hysterically) Son: (walking away) Good to know who's side you're on mom! She's no worse than Balloon Boy's parents. At least Crawford already had her fame established and was a shrewd business woman. Her children were adopted as accessories. Balloon Boy was a forced accessory to criminal behavior. Who's crazy now?!

The italicized text below was sent to me in an email, obviously supported by the friend that sent it. The message absolutely makes my skin crawl and sends chills up my spine. I will send a note to the person saying "Surely you don't believe this crap?" yet I am fascinated by the way people are so easily led, or accept such sweeping, generalized remarks. Even the most wholesome of television shows has issues. The Cleavers and Nelsons had no racial diversity and set a standard of an unattainable family lifestyle that forced the average American to build a wall around any deviation from the publicized "norm." Do people immitate what they see on television? Or is television merely a mirror of what people do? Personally, I see give and take in the public's relationship to media. Video games and movies do not create violent children. Unstable children believe they can mimic fantasy. My children would see idiots doing things on television, laugh, and say, "How...

When I read the details of Elizabeth Smart's ordeal from when she was held captive by Brian David Mitchell , I admired her strength and ability to move beyond the nightmare that consumed nine months of her young life. When I read that she was testifying at Mitchell's new competency hearing, I was stunned. I suppose I assumed that the guy was rotting in jail, where he should be. Instead, he has been tested, and re-tested, for mental stability. Obviously the guy is whack-o! Why are we spending good tax dollars on having him evaluated for competency to stand trial? Anyone that would creep into a little girl's bedroom at night, whisk her away for a make-shift wedding, keep her tethered to a line, rape her multiple times on a daily basis, and threaten to kill her entire family if she tried to escape, is beyond any level of sanity. The man is coniving, calculating, and dangerous. He sang hymns in court and preached to the judge - which easily could be an effort to underscore his ...

All of my life, I have recognized that everyone has a story, and that became more deeply seated when I was a news editor. Taking mom out and getting our nails done today proved there to be no exception. I would never expect an eyebrow waxing to lead discussing a trip to the Antartic with a stranger, but it did. As I settled into the chair for a pedicure, a few words were exchanged with the woman next to me. When she learned I was going to get my eyebrows done, she wondered if she should follow suit, noting her upcoming trip to the South Pole. South Pole?! Suddenly penguins from " Happy Feet " were dancing through my mind and the interrogation began! Emily Wilson is currently a physician's assistant in Greensboro with cardio and internal medicine experience. She said that, after doing the same thing for about 20 years, she was ready for a change. Recognizing a great opportunity and adventure, she pursued a position with Raytheon Polar Services which is under government c...

A dear friend sent me the quotes listed below, in an email. Not only did I find the comments funny, I found them astoundingly accurate and insightful. Then I began wondering why people are so anti-gay. I can remember being secretive more than 15 years ago when my first husband could no longer deny his own sexual identity, but why is this segment of the population still under scrutiny? When I was around the age of 10, my family lived in a new development, and there were plenty of young girls around my own age. We played and went to school together. It wasn't long before a cycle of ostracization developed. One girl could look at another in an odd way and suddenly, the stronger of the two had the rest of the group ignoring the one. I came home crying on more than one occasion, as did others, I'm sure. One girl tried to pick a fight with me, but I refused. I couldn't bring myself to punch her, even after she shoved me. Miscommunication and insecurities seemed to lead the way f...

Complaints about immigrants are uttered in living rooms across the country. As Americans, we feel our space is invaded and that “foreigners” are usurping our resources. We fight hard to keep our freedoms, our jobs, roofs over our heads, and food on our tables. Yet, we are complacent and unappreciative of what we do have. Fortunately, I have met some people that are educating me about the realities that exist beyond America's borders. News reports that used to seem so far away have materialized into very real faces that I am getting to know each week. Every Saturday morning, I volunteer with a movie-making class. (see inset for details) The adult students are immigrants and they are each creating a one-minute film related to a journey. I am getting snippets of their stories during class discussions and when I offer one-on-one assistance. One student’s journey began when she fled religious persecution. As a Christian in Burma, Joyce was a minority in her homeland where 90 percent of ...

A mom in Georgia is now under public scrutiny for dragging her toddler by a leash through a store. At first glance, the tactic seems brutal, but after watching the video I am convinced people need to cut this mom some slack - at least until all the evidence is presented. My biggest pet peeve is how the masses make snap decisions based on initial data, popular opinion, or what is politically correct. In handling children, there are some that believe a higher road should be taken. They seem to have a zen approach, talk calmly to little ones, and never use corporal punishment. My experience with such saintly parents has been that they are 1) oblivious to the unruly and disruptive behavior of their children; 2) don't have children and are working from theory; 3) are blessed with sedate tots; or 4) they are lying about how they raise their kids. Instead of assuming the woman with a toddler on a leash is the reincarnate of Irma Grese , let's provide the benefit of the doubt with a mo...

Joan Rivers has always been hysterically offensive and will poke fun at herself as much as she does others. Donald Trump is just offensive and everyone makes fun of him. I even risked insulting a dog when poking fun at Trump. moar funny pictures Together, Rivers and Trump have managed to upset a small - make that "little" - segment of the population by using the word "midget" on " Celebrity Apprentice ." As a result, there has been an uprising a subversive move towards having the word banned from television . As a writer, I know how important word choices can be. I also recognize that verbiage is only 10 percent of spoken communication. Intonation, intent, content, and body language all contribute to nuances of messages. Being politically correct is getting tiresome and this isn't the first time I've addressed the issue . Banning a word from television doesn't make it any less or more offensive. In fact, such a ban is the technological equival...

Nicole Bobek has been arrested and charged with being part of a drug ring. The former figure skating champion has homes in New Jersey and Florida and is believed to be involved in the distribution of methamphetamine . Hmmm ... Imagine that - a figure skater in a ring, manufacturing and distributing "ice" ... Let's call her " Zamboni "!! If she gets caught in the " snow " or starts "speed" skating, does that mean she's an all-around winter sports champ? Does living in Florida and maintaining a NJ home make her a "snow bird"? Unfortunately, the evidence is piling up, and this gal may end up a caged bird.

The murder of Dr. George Tiller and subsequent discussions have me recalling incidents where my own ob/gyn has feared for his life. Dr. Tiller was in the foyer of his church when a 51-year-old man shot and killed Tiller for performing abortions. A radical pro-lifer felt justified in killing a physician - a grown, well-educated man that was meeting a medical need in a legal and safe manner. Such vigilantism is pious and sacrilegious, going against the very nature of pro-life mantras. Members of pro-life organizations speak of perpetuating life, yet they have no concern for quality of life. Jim Buie addresses the issue using a very personal example, with his recent article in Newsweek. When I first met my gynecologist, I was impressed with the questions he asked. He wanted to know about me, what I wanted for the future and whether I had concerns. It wasn't the usual rubber stamp process and he looked me directly in the eyes. When I became pregnant with my second child, he became well...

Bob Sweeney : There was a moment... when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions. Derek Vinyard : Like what? Bob Sweeney : Has anything you've done made your life better? - from American History X Today concludes a week filled with irony in actions that merged history with present day. An 88-year-old white supremacist (allegedly shot and) killed an African-American guard at the entrance of the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC two days before what would have been Anne Frank's 80th birthday . The play " Anne and Emmitt " - an imagined dialogue between Anne Frank and Emmitt Till - was to open at the museum the same evening of the shooting, but of course was postponed. Whether coincidence ...

An article in today's News & Record reports that the City of Greensboro's hiring practices may be discriminating against minorities seeking jobs with the fire and police departments. Judging by readers' commentary, I'd say a diverse population has come to a consensus: the article itself is lacking fair representation. Casting a shadow over the ceremony for 19 graduates of the fire department's training program, the reporter spouts statistics proving the diversity of the department is not reflective of the city's population. While the writer focuses on race, she fails to note the lacking diversity of women and that more than 16 percent of the population is over the age of 60. Do we want older firefighters, too? The "right" people can not be forced to apply for specific jobs. One possible reason given for the imbalance is the fact that minorities are not passing the entrance exams. Applicants are required to answer half the questions correctly. Only ...

Music. Sometimes the sounds are so powerful there are no words to describe them; the player's energy makes contact with the listener, ripping through to his very soul. Even the most hard-hearted can be moved to tears with no explanation. Playing for Change has managed to create a grassroots movement with musicians that have created this auditory strength, and I dare anyone to stand in its way. Starting in Santa Monica, California, a street musician was recorded while playing "Stand by Me." The recording has literally gone around the world, and, at various stops, other musicians have added tracks. The music alone is great, but when punctuated by the realization that these people have never met, are not famous, and simply displayed their talents on the street in an effort to create a single, harmonic tune to prove the world can work together in a way that is pleasing to everyone, the glass ceiling is shattered. A number of songs have been created, and celebrities like Bono ...

I've been a bit discombobulated lately with trying to develop my personal marketing plan for potential job leads, teaching part-time at a community college, and resisting the urge to dive under my sheets and wish the world away. Still, I keep plugging away, fueled by the rewards of seeing students in my classes progress and grow in their quest for knowledge. It is in this endeavor where my current post has sprouted. The issue North Carolina Governor Beverly Perdue has taken drastic action to help restore the state's ailing budget. Making a profound and obviously difficult decision, Perdue is recalling 0.5 percent of state employees' annual salaries. Every person employed by the state is affected, including school teachers, college professors, staff, faculty, and employees with various state agencies. Considering this half-percent cut totals $65 million, it's a small sacrifice on the part of state employees, yet a drop in the bucket when one considers the state is facing...

If I don't get my butt in gear, this blog will die from lack of attention! Still, lack of attention here doesn't mean I haven't been busy elsewhere. A new task seems to jumble everything around but once the dust settles, I can usually steer things in the right direction again. One of my latest projects was to develop a new video. Twitter is rising fast in the social media stream but there are still a lot of people that haven't even heard of it. After seeing a number of questions from newbies, I decided to highlight how to get started. With a basic launch pad, folks can blast off with Twitter and tweet around the world. I'm planning to do more and am going to try to find new and different angles on the how-to of Twitterdom. Suggestions? Questions? Leave them in comments and I'll respond!

Not only have I veered away from my normal routine, making my actions "para" normal, I have gotten involved with a new group delving into the "real" paranormal. (Is that an oxymoron?) As a couple of us work to stabilize a fledgling group, I find myself immersed in articles, information, blogs, and banter. From the age of 3, I have experienced interactions with the paranormal, but until more recent years, I have kept my recounts low-key. People already thought I was weird, so I saw no need to fuel the fire. With the onslaught of a myriad of television programs addressing "the other side," paranormal discussions have become more mainstream. The change in society's barometer has me pondering a couple of points. Television is given far too much power in our lives, shaping societal attitudes and opinions. Rather than people gathering information and really analyzing data for themselves, they accept everything on television as-is. In some rarer cases, there ...

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all. ~ Sam Ewing ~ Recently, I stopped at an unfamiliar gas station and filled up the tank. The station was at a busy intersection, had plenty of pumps, and a good flow of customers. Still, it looked dingy and depressed. An older woman was in the cashier's booth alone and she seemed pleasant enough. I wouldn't expect her to be out scrubbing pumps or sweeping after dark, but surely someone would care enough to clean up a little. As I waited at the pump, I read the sign above my head. (I'm short so everything is above my head). The contrast between the signs' statements and the appearance of the station gave me cause to chuckle. I suppose someone found "a little better" way to put up the notice with duct tape. No matter what your job is, someone will notice if you do good work and a LOT of people will notice if you don't. The...

South Carolina ranks second in the nation for peach production , with California coming in first and Georgia third. On Interstate 85, just south of the North Carolina-South Carolina border, Gaffney, SC created a water tower that pays homage to this wonderful fruit. If memory serves correctly, Jerry Bledsoe , formerly of the Greensboro News and Record , wrote about this wonderful icon, noting it's similarity to an elephant's butt. I recently ventured south and grabbed my camera as I approached the border. Since I was doing about 70 mph and didn't have time to pull off the road, I snapped off a few shots and hoped for the best. My first photo was the typical highway approach shot. As I neared, I was in for a surprise. I had heard that this once desolate area had acquired some outlets and restaurants but I was quite shocked when I saw the stores. I suppose the famous elephant's butt has produced enough fertilizer to encourage growth. Someone was even clever enough to put a...

Television holds few shows that I will watch religiously but one of my top favorites is Bill Maher on HBO. He manages to get an eclectic mix of people on his panels and has various guests on representing both conservative and liberal views, though the show is primarily liberal. My primary reason for watching is that I am able to get tidbits of news that seems to be overlooked by mainstream media. Tonight's panel included Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) who is serving her 10th term in office. Among the interesting insights into the current state of the economy and the bailouts, Waters commented that "Americans have no idea how bad things really are." If that wasn't depressing enough, Maher pointed out that the housing market in Detroit is the worst in the nation. The motor city represents more than just a segment of the U.S. population - it stands for American ingenuity, pride, commerce, and manufacturing. According to Maher, the average home in Motown is going for $16,000 ...

Exactly two weeks ago, I posted " Public and accessible " which described the antics of trying to access a public building in my hometown. As I thought about the problem, I knew I should do more than just bemoan the issue here. I wrote an email, included the post's link and sent it to the county commissioners, the county manager and the county attorney. I am pleased to report that two of the commissioners responded, promising to look into the issue. Interim County Manager Brenda Fox responded with a letter, (hard copy, signed and sent through the USPS!) dated February 10. I'd like to share this with you because I always give fair consideration to all sides of an issue. Dear Ms. Carter: This correspondence is in regard to your February 1, 2009 e-mail to myself and the Board of County Commissioners concerning access issues at the Guilford County Courthouse in Greensboro. The Courthouse is in the midst of a large renovation that has created some inconvenience to our cus...

The now infamous photo of a fireman giving water to a koala that survived Australia's wildfire has been seared into my mind. I feel sad for the many human victims of the disaster down under but nothing compares to the anguish I feel for the lost terrain and wildlife. People have greater chances of survival in such situations. I don't know all the details of this particular travesty, but generally humans have the opportunity to get out of harm's way. Wildfires are a little trickier than some events because they have been known to jump, winds can be less predictable, and people near the initial outbreak are more prone to be caught by surprise. Those that choose to wait until the last possible minute to get out are just asking for trouble and I honestly don't have much patience with them. Tornadoes, lightning strikes, tsunamis, earthquakes and other sudden events do evoke more sympathetic responses from me so I am not totally brash. Still, I get the impression that people ...

My frustrations with governmental bureaucracy have escalated since recent visits to the Guilford County Courthouse. I can empathize with the paper trails and the fact that these folks have to deal with the "general" public so my complaints are not typical. My disgust is focused on the maze of navigating entry. The architect designing this place should be shot and the idiots that approved the plan should be sentenced to navigating the facility daily sans use of "employee only" doorways. Herein is my saga. According to county ordinances, my mother needed to file my father's will within one year of his death. He passed away in November and she wants to get these types of needling tasks out of the way. Everything they owned is either in her name or jointly titled. She is the sole heir and executrix - very tidy and uncomplicated. Mom has COPD and has a handicapped parking identification tag. She drives as little as possible and I have been taking her on these more c...

A recent blog regarding Twitter protocol stimulated my small literary repertoire. To re-tweet or not to re-tweet was the question. 'Tis nobler to recognize the author than to forsake the attribute, in my most humble of opinions. Some believe the full statement should be re-posted and others believe the mere mention of said Tweet should satiate the appetite of those that ache to dine on others' crumbs. Though I believe it is wise to not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for I am crunchy and good with ketchup, the stir over retweets can be likened to a tempest in a teapot. As a gesture of homage, I dedicate the following parody to Twitter. "ReTweet" by Iris Carter based on Say over again... (Sonnet 21) by Elizabeth Barrett Browning Say over again, and yet once over again, That Tweet thou dost love. Though the words repeated Should seem "a cuckoo-song," as thou dost tweet it, Remember, never to the Mac or PC, iPhone or SMS, without her cuckoo-strain Comes Twitt...