Sunday, November 30, 2008
My mother is always consoling herself by saying things like, "Well, it could be worse ..." or "Other people have problems, too." In response, I share a lesson I learned a long time ago: "Don't minimize your problems - we each have our own reality to deal with." Kudos to a very wise therapist as this has stuck with me and, combined with the bits and pieces I've assembled to form my own conclusions about religious issues, I've managed to survive in spite of great odds.
I try not to wallow in personal quagmires and avoid being over-confident because karma has a way of kicking my ass hard when I stray too far from center ground. Perhaps my spirituality is so well-grounded because there is no possible explanation for the cosmic messages I receive on a regular and direct basis.
Some folks ask "why" things happen or assume they are a magnet for bad luck. When someone rich and famous gives sincere thanks, I smile and believe they are blessed for a reason. (I should add here, the ever popular Oscar reward response of "I'd like to thank God and my parents" is worn out and has lost meaning from over-use.) Yet, one person's blessings doesn't mean another is chosen for strife. Of course, being thankful doesn't mean you'll be showered continually with abundance. Everything happens for a reason and while we may not always understand those reasons, recognizing that living is better as a verb than a noun, better as a means than a goal, we give ourselves permission to learn along the way.
When we are buried up to our eyeballs in our own thoughts, work, emotions (insert "personal crap" here) we are blind to how we connect with others. By taking a deep breath, owning our issues and looking to those around us, we find more commonality.
People come and go in our lives for a reason. If we recognize their value, we grow. Sometimes they are around a long time and sometimes they are in a fleeting moment. I've found much relief in losing some of the ones that cause me the most distress and if I don't learn from them, they come back to haunt me in another body. I'm sure many can identify with having the same type-cast boss in different jobs! As much as I know they are there to help me learn some sort of lesson, I find some consolation in the fact that perhaps I can teach them something along the way, too. The entire process is not just how others can help me, but how can I help them, too.
By now, you may be thinking, "Iris, what's your point?"
If you don't relate to what I'm saying, you may not be ready for the point.
And that's okay - ask questions or just come baaaaack another day!