Monday, September 8, 2008

Palin's Packing Heat

Telling you how to vote would go against the very principle of my blog. You should think about your own values and needs and make your own decision. What I can do is throw a few morsels out that you can chew on while you ponder the choices.

Often, the most obvious imperfections can be masked by simple illusions. Sarah Palin flew out of John McCain’s pocket quicker than a dove from David Copperfield’s handkerchief. Dainty, delicate and dandy to look at, Palin balances McCain’s heavy hand. He seems to be banking on her ability to lure flies with honey but voters need to watch out for the SNAP of the Venus Flytrap!

My best friend raised four children and rebuked some of the commentary on Palin’s speech during the republican convention. “They kept saying how she had presence and commanded attention,” my friend said. “The woman’s got five kids – she damn well better have the ability to command attention! If she can’t then there’s something wrong!”

As we further considered this little barracuda that could potentially be the country’s first female executive, we thought of Palin’s human side. She is a woman that has birthed five children and still has the figure of a beauty queen. She manages to put herself together with make-up, hair, and clothes all impeccable. She has incredibly long days and a magnificent smile at the end of the evening. Someone needs to tell this bitch the women’s movement is OVER! We tried to have it all and realized that we can’t. Palin has help. She has someone to clean the governor’s mansion, she has assistants, and her older kids watch over the younger ones. She’s not car-pooling little league, cruising Wal-Mart, cutting her kids’ hair, or on her hands and knees icing down gum in the carpet.

This VP Hopeful is also teetering on the edge of (eeeeekkkkk) the change. “Do we really want a menopausal woman with her finger on the trigger of nuclear weapons?” said my friend. Hormones can rock the most solid foundations. A woman approaching middle age with the weight of the world on her shoulders and five children on her back is worse than the scariest of Stephen King’s novels.

As you are herded into the voting booth, don’t be sheepish about your choices – one wrong move and we’re in for a baaaaaad dream.

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