MuttonChops

People choose: Ignorance or Information

2011-12-20T14:10:00.007-05:00

As I write this, a friend is on Facebook making a strong plea for people to be more open minded regarding the plight of immigrants. The so-called facts offered by conservatives are skewed, and my friend is trying to set the record straight.
He comments: "They are being exploited and having their basic human rights denied as we speak. ... 3,000 US CITIZENS have been detained by ICE because of the assumption they are illegal -based mostly on the color of their skin. Once in ICE's system, undocumented immigrants do not have a right to an attorney or trial, they are imprisoned indefinitely and abused while in custody (Raped and beaten) until released into countries many have never known. Now the government plans to extend the same treatment to US citizens accused of being terrorists, turning us over to the US military for indefinite detention, without trial."
He also explains: "Facts prove that undocumented labor is the backbone of our economy in the state. Farmers are pushing for immigration reform so they can get enough labor for the fields and hog farms. (The cause of America's problems:) NAFTA, BIG Bank speculation, the greed of the 1 %, the world wide labor force that will work for dimes on the dollar. ICE predicted they would go after 400,000 undocumented criminals a year for capture and deportation- they couldn't find enough so roughly half are non-criminals; mothers caring for kids who are simply stopped for a traffic violation."
Of course, his conservative "friends" are retorting with comments like, "Immigrants are taking American jobs," and "They should all be deported." Unfortunately, it's comments like these that breed racism. I know people who are Americans by birth, speak with a southern accent, work hard, and yet are still called "wet-backs" because they are of Latino descent.
Everyone has a right to an opinion, but when the mind is closed, the person will never get accurate facts to make a choice for an intelligent and informed opinion. I get frustrated with people who regurgitate the same rhetoric without trying to find out if their comments are accurate. Chances are, if the statement is short and repetitious, they are coming from a closed, robotic mind.
The uninformed are perpetuating lies and propaganda while spitting in the face of our ancestors who invaded (yes - invaded and brutally took over) an uncivilized nation. Our civilization merely deteriorates with the destruction of humanity at the hands of bigots.

Robocops - UC-Davis to Kent State

2011-11-20T19:03:00.005-05:00

As I read the stories and watched footage of the UC Davis Campus Police’s actions against peaceful protestors, I couldn’t help but think about the history of protests in our country, and more specifically, the slayings at Kent State.
One UC Davis officer held a canister of pepper spray, aimed at a line of students sitting on the ground, and began coating them as though they were a brick wall being spray painted. He walked down the line and back again, methodically disbursing a thick mist at point blank range. With 50 armed officers standing up to 200 protestors, the odds were well in favor of the police. Yet, the officers supposedly felt justified in their fears of losing crowd control.
History is coming dangerously close to being repeated. Only the choice of weapon stood between this incident being a blatant abuse of power and becoming a massacre that would have eclipsed the Ohio four. Perhaps “Freedom of Speech” is a misnomer because anyone exerting that freedom seems to do so at some cost.

Plane crash story fails to fly

2011-06-04T13:25:00.006-04:00

I have just about reached my limit on hearing or seeing negative comments about Muslims. If the American population who show as much hatred towards this group of people, showed the same amount of hatred towards gangs, our cities would be much safer.

Today's article on AOL news about newly emerged video of an Iranian plane crash caught my attention. While AOL is not my choice of news sources, I do glean news from the headlines and then look for indepth information elsewhere. In looking elsewhere, I discovered that the video is actually a military aircraft with 7 people on board. Regardless of who and how many are on board, the crash is horrifying.

The comments made by people in regards to this story on the crash are evidence that some people only have brains to maintain their organs for bodily viability. Using any thought processes are beyond their capacity.

My response to those comments pretty much sum up my opinion, even though my statement was made on the assumption the article and someone referencing an airline crash was correct. That is my mistake, but doesn't change my basic message. I'm sure it is about as useful as the article that preceded, but it helped me let off some steam.

As a former news editor, I agree - the reporting here is terrible... this is
not "new footage." New footage of a crash that happened two years ago is
impossible. A new discovery of footage, or newly-released footage IS possible.
The video is NOT new.

As for the idiots that are hoping a bunch of Muslims died and wondering why Americans should care 1) It is immoral to watch 168 people spiral and crash to the ground regardless of who they are. 2) Just because the plane is from a country that Americans distrust does not mean that all the people on board are from that same country; 3) Muslims are not bad people - terrorists are bad people. Terrorists who claim to be Muslim but do not practice the laws of the Muslim religion have given an entire population a bad name. If you believe terrorists represent the Muslim community, then you must believe that Westboro Baptist Church is representative of ALL Christians.

Inverted bobs put on the dog

2011-05-10T16:12:00.013-04:00

Inverted bobs are the coifs that have sparked a new wave of wedge haircuts, popularized by the likes of Victoria Beckham and Rihanna. From the front, these sassy, crisp hair-dos can be attractive. The longer strands in front frame the face with a linear look, elongating the chin.
From the back, the hairstyle tells a different story. When I first saw this hairstyle emerge, I immediately stifled a laugh because my only thought was, "That looks like a dog's butt."
Women - stop it - please. Because, dare I say, you look like an ass (albeit a canine one).

Crowd mentality over Bin Laden's death

2011-05-01T23:36:00.006-04:00

The hour is late, and with the rest of the world, I am watching President Obama's announcement of Osama Bin Laden's death. As the news cameras focus on growing crowds in the street, cheering and singing, I cringe a bit. I am hesitant to rejoice in anyone's death because of my profound spiritual belief that there is a higher justice. Karma is a bitch, and as soon as I bleat with the sheep over Bin Laden's death, justice may turn the shears on me.
I also stop myself from joining the pep rally because Bin Laden may have been the mastermind behind Al Qaida and terrorist acts, but he did not act alone. When Dorothy killed the witch, the guards looked upset, but quickly hailed her actions. I have a feeling members of Bin Laden's clique' will not be so quick to jump the fence into greener pastures. They are trained; they know how to retaliate. Americans cheering on worldwide television is merely going to piss off the terrorists. The crowd mentality is merely cementing the misconception of Americans being evil and self-absorbed.
Yes, Bin Laden was evil; yes, he issued an attack against the US; yes, the world is better off without him. Shouldn't we recognize these points without deteriorating to the same level of the terrorists that cheered when Americans died on 9/11?

Sleeping on the Job

2011-04-30T08:22:00.002-04:00

According to a recent study, napping on the job is a good thing because it increases productivity. Perhaps the fired air traffic controllers should be reinstated, compensated for undue stress, and given raises for actually doing a good job.
Personally, I often wish I could take a nap, but the situation is not conducive for plunking down my head and dozing. I realize that the average five-hour-a-night rest that I get is not sufficient. I also heard about a study that says lack of sleep can cause weight gain. So, for my sanity, and in hopes of repairing my metabolism, I have made an effort to wedge out more time for a good night's rest. The result: I wake up after five hours, and when I go back to sleep, the remaining time is fitful with odd dreams, multiple awakenings, and a lot of movement. Maybe I can concentrate my efforts to have dreams about fitness classes and channel my movement to a workout in order to gain physical benefit to combat the effects of sleep loss.
Anything beats counting sheep .... one, two, three, four, fi... baaaaaa.

Nabih's Sleepless Night from Patricia Perkins on Vimeo.

Ted Williams Update

2011-03-09T16:39:00.004-05:00

I wrote an earlier blog about Ted Williams and his fast lane to popularity followed by the plummet to rehab. As a guest on The Today Show, Williams provided a positive update. (video is not available for embedding yet - click the link provided).
Time will tell if Williams is indeed on the road to recovery. Addicts are great manipulators and will say what they believe people want to hear. Sometimes, they want their tales to be true, and believe voicing the words will create the reality they want. They also try to minimize their problems and are trying to control the negativity of the situation.
Certainly we can hope Ted is doing well and will stick with his recovery program. His road has become difficult and steep. Hopefully those around him will let him traverse at his own pace, provide support, and avoid enabling him.

(Photo by Brian/NCReedplayer)

License plates and watermelons

2011-03-08T19:25:00.005-05:00

Just like the Japanese came up with an idea for square watermelons, the North Carolina Watermelon Association has their own creative juices brewing. Specialized plates with a watermelon can be purchased for an extra fee that is far less than Japan's $82 food price tag.
Obviously, the message is working because I was compelled to come home and look up our local growers. Watermelon is my favorite vegetable - yes veggie, not fruit. The summer delicacy is part of the cucumber and gourd family. (I looked that info up, too!).
Like any other produce association, watermeloners have a queen. Queen Madelyn hails from Denton and is a student at High Point University. The public is invited to Make a Melon Memory at the annual Watermelon Festival which will be held July 22-24, 2011 in Fair Bluff.
I would be amiss if I did not give a nod to the watermelon's cousin - the pickle. Mount Olive in Wayne County hosts the Pickle Festival in April. Pickle puns and tongue twisters abound whether one is sweet, sour, or earns their bread and butter in the industry.
With gas prices escalating, shipping costs for produce will be passed on to the consumer. Homegrown produce is better for our local economy, and after knowing a bit about the local growers, the urge to buy locally is even greater. To explore more about local growers and farmers' markets, check out NC Farm Fresh.
I never would have believed a license plate could be so educational.

Ted Wiilliams Debacle

2011-01-15T10:37:00.007-05:00

I am constantly astounded by the ease of which the general public will display their baaaaad tendency to follow the herd. Ted Williams' rise to fame was fueled by the same frenzy. He was panhandling, using his smooth voice to bait a soliciting trap when he was discovered by an Ohio news reporter.
The story unfolded like a fairytale, and everyone wanted to see Williams take his rightful place in society. Like the young boy who drew the sword from the stone to become King Arthur, the public was eager for the derelict to sit on the throne with everyone singing his praises. Perhaps this is fueled by each person's secret desire to be rescued in some way.
Living vicariously through Williams, each of us can imagine what it's like to be plucked off the streets, to have executives clamoring for our talent, to be propelled into the spotlight. Everyone wants to win the lottery, hit the jackpot, get a piece of the proverbial pie. When someone like Williams does it, the average person sees hope. If a bum on a street corner can reach success, certainly the hard-working, honest, family man has an even better chance of grabbing the gold ring - right?
Instead of being enamored with his rise and disappointed by his plummet, the public should recognize Williams for serving another purpose: he is an example. People are looking for an easy solution to these tough economic times. Williams reminds us that nothing comes easily or without strings attached. Instead of giving up or escaping with drugs, people should stay strong. Being fortitudinous as the economy recovers will be more beneficial.
Williams also serves as a reminder that each individual controls his own life. When that control is turned over to other people, to drugs, or to any other element, life falters. Any situation provides choices, but by letting other people, influences, and chemicals make those choices, a person is not controlling his life. When those influences disappear, no one is in control; no one is steering, causing life to spin out of control.
Homelessness has spread beyond the victims of insanity and addiction, and now engulfs those who have lost homes to foreclosure, lost jobs to overseas manufacturers, and lost hope in themselves. While it is important to recognize not every homeless person is archetypal, Williams is a reminder that each should be judged on his own merits.
Blaming Williams for betraying trust, disappointing followers and supporters, and for destroying ideological plans, is much like blaming an actor for portraying a fictitious character in a realistic manner; it is up to an individual to discern fact from fiction, and to separate what might be from what actually is.
People should also remember that panhandling is illegal in most (if not all) areas; give money to the homeless by giving money to shelters and services - not individuals; and don't blame anyone else for a personal lapse in judgment. No one is infallible.

Related article: "Blinded by Ted Williams' surprisingly silky voice"

Telemarketers beware

2011-01-11T18:09:00.004-05:00

In spite of listing with the Do Not Call registry, I still get a few annoying solicitations. I've read the funny lines that can be delivered to telemarketers and often wish I could think on my feet fast enough to deliver them smoothly. One of the funniest was delivered by my own mother. A number of years ago, MCI and AT&T were competing for customers. An MCI representative called and delivered his opening line. Mom said, "I'm sorry, but we don't have a phone." The flustered caller said, "Oh, okay," and hung up.
My latest calls have been from the local newspaper. I used to subscribe, so I suppose I'm in their database, and once in a while they decide to call.
"I'm calling from the News & Record, and we wanted to be sure you received your paper today."
I used to fall for the line, responding that I don't receive it, to which the caller then wanted me to subscribe. They have called often enough that I now have a pat response which I deliver eloquently: "No, I did not receive a paper this morning because I don't subscribe. But you already know that since you are calling to coerce me into subscribing. I'm not interested, thank you." Then, I hang up. Sometimes, I have to add, "And I told this to a representative last week." After two or three calls, I'll remind them they are harassing me, they remove my number, and I won't hear anything for six months or so.
I can't bring myself to be too aggressive because they are trying to earn a living. Yet, I have reconditioned my early childhood lessons when I was taught to be polite and never hang up on anyone. My mother, like many older adults, has become more tolerant with age. This woman who used to keep a police whistle by the phone to discourage obscene callers by blowing out their eardrums, will now complain that a telemarketer kept her on the line, and "I couldn't just hang up on him."
Instead of being a slave to the phone, it's much easier to remember:

When the phone rings, I do not have to stop what I am doing and run.
Walk, do not run, to the phone because Murphy's Law guarantees the call is not that important, I will trip, or I will stub my toe.
If I don't get to the phone in time, the caller can leave a message.
I have caller ID, so I have the option to not answer at all.
If I do answer, and I do not want to hear what the person has to say, I can say "No thank you," and hang up.

The caller chooses to dial my number which makes him the risk-taker. If a voice enters my home without permission, I can blow out the person's ears without remorse.

Loughner, Clarke make perfect pair

2011-01-10T18:40:00.007-05:00

Even though Jared Lee Loughner was caught with gun in hand by witnesses to his shooting rampage in Arizona, he has the same rights and privileges as anyone else arrested for crime in the United States: He is innocent until proven guilty, and he has the right to legal representation.
The attorney is court appointed, thousands of tax dollars will go to his food and shelter, and even more will be spent on increased courtroom security, importing an out-of-state judge, and various other costs involved in a high-profile case.
The entire situation is a double-edged sword - the world knows he is guilty, but the laws can't be changed for this situation. Maintaining a free society with blind justice requires the judicial system to follow specific protocols.
However, in this case, I wonder if there was some backroom justice in the works when the court appointed Asheville native Judy Clarke as Loughner's attorney. Now practicing in San Diego, she has defended some very famous criminals:

Theodore Kaczynski - Unabomer who killed three and injured 23 others, sentenced to life in prison without parole.
Susan Smith - South Carolina mother that killed her sons, aged 3 and 14 months, by pushing her car into a lake and drowning them. She is sentenced to life in prison with first chance of parole in 2024.
Eric Rudolph- Olympic Park Bomber that was a fugitive for five years, spending much of that time in North Carolina mountains is now serving multiple life sentences.
Zacarias Moussaoui - 9/11 conspirator now serving life in a maximum security prison.
Timothy McVeigh - Oklahoma City Bomber killed 168 and wounded 450, was executed in 2001.
O.J. Simpson - Accused of murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman hired "Dream Team" of lawyers including F. Lee Bailey, Robert Shapiro, and Johnnie Cochran. Oh, wait ... Clarke wasn't on this team, and O.J. was found not guilty.

Thankfully, Loughner confirmed in court that he does want Clarke as his attorney, so perhaps, with her ineffectual track record, justice will be served.

Tormented by Bullies

2010-10-21T14:02:00.011-04:00

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Kids being harassed to the point of attempting - or succeeding - suicide is not only tragic; it is happening everywhere. From big cities to tiny towns, there are bullies. In third grade, our class bully was a larger-than-average guy with a buzz cut and a scowl. I avoided him purely because of his reputation. When I finally was side-by-side in line with him, I mustered the courage to speak and found out he was actually civil. Later, I learned he was abused at home and acted out at school.

A few years later, and no longer afraid of the quintessential bully, I learned that pubescent friends, (particularly girls) can be cruel. Tweens tend to be insecure, hormonal, and territorial - which can be a deadly combination. My experiences seemed to correlate with scholarly observers who determined that somewhat uncivilized behavior may occur in otherwise domestic social groups sharing similar demographics. In other words, adolescent girls can be bitchy.

As a working adult, I have held jobs that gave me contact with teen socialization. I've observed, as technology improved, social interactions changed, transforming the benign teen angst of yesteryear to today's vicious, high-tech, vitriolic hatred. A rumor that was spread by word-of-mouth 30 years ago, can now zip around the world in mere minutes. Hearsay could be scoffed as twisted words, but now those words are in print or photos on the web. Kids could only harass peers for a limited spectrum of taunts. We didn't have access to WebMD, pornography, and Wikipedia to provide fodder for contrived accusations and ailments.

Even low-tech, person-to-person bullying seems more hateful and potentially more damaging than ever because of the exposure kids have to television and movies. Some may see people acting out on reality television shows and assume bad behavior is the norm.

A few years ago, a parent told me about her daughter being harassed by a girl at high school. The rift was trivial, but the aggressor was on the warpath. She would stalk the victim by driving by her home or the recreation center during extracurricular activities. At one point the victim feared the angry teen would use the car as a weapon. When the defensive mother talked to the other mom, she was met with an attitude similar to the teen's - like mother, like daughter.

Just this week, one of the adult students in my class talked about the trouble her 13-year-old daughter is facing. Her daughter is quiet, shy, soft spoken, and by her photo, very attractive. For three years, another girl has tormented this woman's daughter. The two played soccer together and the aggressor would deliberately trip the weaker girl. The mother talked with the coach and ultimately pulled her daughter from the team. She then realized it wasn't fair to punish her daughter for the actions of the other player.

Now, the two girls ride the same bus to school. The aggressor threatens and teases, making the victim cry. The mother has tried to encourage her daughter to stand up to the bully, but the daughter won't. At the same time, she doesn't want her daughter to lose her sweet nature, anyway.

Because the daughter usually meets a close friend to ride the bus together, the bully now accuses the girl of being a lesbian. The daughter has actually talked about committing suicide because she is so tormented and ashamed. The mother has been to the teacher, the school administrators and the school board to no avail.

As I and a couple of others listened in shock, I spoke up. I noted that even if the girl was a lesbian, it shouldn't matter. (Maybe she should threaten to kiss the bully?! I have an old friend that belonged to Dykes on Bikes - I'd love to sic her on this bully!). The girl has nothing to be ashamed of, though at that age, sexual identity is such a personal and precarious topic. Everyone wants to "fit in" and doesn't want to appear different.

Regardless of what the taunts are, and regardless of the victim's temperament, the most important thing is for the individual to realize the bully is the one with the problem. Someone should not have to change their personality and become aggressive to ward off victimization. I encouraged my student to let her daughter know that self-confidence is her biggest mode of defense. If she knows that the bully is wrong, at least, perhaps, she will stop contemplating suicide.

I just gave my students an assignment that included contemplating Rudyard Kipling's "If" along with a few quotes. He was spot on when he said, "Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." And, like drugs, words can heal or they can kill.

Photo by Eric Brechemier

Keeping the process simple

2010-10-15T11:12:00.005-04:00

Instead of engaging in a long diatribe about current events or subjects that rattle my brain, today I bring you an observation - a ponderance or, in more common terms, "WTF?"

The onset of the '70s brought in instand foods. "Just add water," and coffee, hot cocoa, soup, oatmeal, and a deluge of other palatable items were available. In many homes, a tea kettle was a staple and a flip of the stove switch provided hot, boiling water in a quick moment.

Within a short time, quick foods were followed by quicker cooking methods via the microwave. A cup of water takes roughly the same amount of time to boil on the stove as it does in the nukerator, but the image of a mug circling the inside of a box, illuminated by a single bulb, and screened by a black web of fibers seems far more Jetson-esque. Cookbooks addressed the new contraption, telling the modern cook how to create multi-course meals. Those that never bought into the idea of baking a cake in the microwave, found the appliance indispensable for baking a potato, popping popcorn, and reheating leftovers.

For some reason, the producers of instant foods feel that there is a need for separate "stove top" and "microwave" instructions when adding hot water to dry substances. Why does one need more hot water on the stove top than in the microwave? Is water from the microwave able to absorb better?

The instructions often have the dry ingredients mixed in with the water before heating in the microwave. Do the ions in powder get jolted in order to accept the nuked water? Perhaps the dry ingredients need to be at one with the water; zapped water is only received by zapped powder, and stove-boiled water is accepted by the regular, unhindered powder.

Though I'd prefer to understand the why of it all, I find that adding hot water - conventionally heated or microwaved -to the package contents achieves the same results. Afterall, isn't the process supposed to be simple?

The Ones You Love

2010-09-01T00:21:00.005-04:00

Written almost 20 years ago, the song is as relevant today as ever. Some things, unfortunately, never change. Bottom line - when one is living a good life and chooses to ignore the needs of others, the least he can do is tend to the ones he loves.

The Ones You Love

Children cry on the street
They don't have enough to eat
Mothers wait for days on end
A hopeless situation they can't mend

Is it good for you?
Is it good for me?
I don't know how the world can sleep
It's just not right to close the door turn out the lights

They'd better be the ones you love
The children ought to get some love
If no one else should ever get enough
They'd better be the ones you love

Daddy waits there in line
A little work he hopes to find
Something wrong with times like these
It's enough to bring a man down to his knees

Is it good for you?
Is it good for me?
I don't know how the world can sleep
It can't be right to close the door turn out the lights

They'd better be the ones you love
The children ought to get some love
If no one else should ever get enough
They'd better be the ones you love

They'd better be the ones you love
The children ought to get some love
If no one else should ever get enough
They'd better be the ones you love
Thinking of the children
The children need oh some love
You'd better be thinking about the children
The children need out love
Better be, you better be thinking of
They better be the ones you love
Better be, you better be
Better be the ones you love
- Rick Astley

Stop the hatred

2010-08-23T17:12:00.003-04:00

Hate is expressed when people are:

Scared - Greedy - Jealous - Hateful - Mean - Selfish - Ignorant - Uninformed

Hate comes in the form of:

Persecution: a program or campaign to exterminate, drive away, or subjugate a people because of their religion, race, or beliefs: the persecutions of Christians by the Romans.

Denigrate: (Denigration n.) 1. to speak damagingly of; criticize in a derogatory manner; sully; defame: to denigrate someone's character. 2. to treat or represent as lacking in value or importance; belittle; disparage: to denigrate someone's contributions to a project.

Discrimination: treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit: racial and religious intolerance and discrimination.

Victims of Hate

Muslims * Christians * Jews * American Indians * Cherokee * Navaho * Disabled * African-Americans * Japanese * Asian * Haitians * Romani * Cubans * Women * Homosexuals * Elderly * Latinos * Irish * Italian * Pilgrims * Gypsies * AIDS * Mentally Ill * Smokers * Poor * Short * Obese * Alcoholics * Drug Addicts * Biracial People * Ugly People * and too many others

It's time to STOP!

Cordoba Initiative: Middle East meets West

2010-08-20T22:18:00.004-04:00

In the days when Jerry Falwell was at his peak, he led the Religious Right which critics found to be a paradox, retorting, “The Moral Majority is neither.” This generation has a new misapplication of terms when referring to the “Ground Zero Mosque,” as there is no mosque being built on Ground Zero, the former site of the World Trade Center.
The 16-acre site of the former twin towers is undergoing reconstruction with a total of seven new buildings and a memorial for those lost in the attack on 9/11.
The surrounding area is like other districts in New York, with shops, restaurants, offices, and other sites for service and commerce. Lower Manhattan has been in need of a community center, much like those in other cities, where people can view and learn the arts, take fitness classes, hold meetings, and enjoy other activities related to serving the surrounding neighborhood.
Park51 is being developed to do just that, and more. In an effort to meet current needs, unite the community within, connect with the world, and bring the world to New York, the structure. which will take over the prior site of the Burlington Coat Factory a few blocks from the World Trade Center, is going to be 15 stories tall.
The Cordoba House is part of this structure, from which the Cordoba Initiative will operate under the leadership of Imam Feisal Abdul-Rauf. Unfortunately, Islamophobia has infected many casual observers, turning mainstream Americans into intolerant, fearful, uninformed activists who have not learned details of what they are protesting.
The Cordoba Initiative has a mission of outreach to “cultivate multi-cultural and multi-faith understanding across minds and borders.” The effort is being made to dispel the mysteries about Islam and the Muslim community, but instead of accepting the offering of peace and brotherhood, narrow-minded westerners are slapping the welcoming hand and extinguishing the light of knowledge.
Imam Feisal has accrued an impressive curriculum vitae and has worked for a number of years with the U.S. Government to improve Islamic relationships; he currently is on a trip in the Middle East, encouraging religious tolerance.
“He is the most liberal, forward-thinking Imam I have ever met,” said my friend Deonna Kelli Sayed. Her husband, a UN diplomat, will be meeting with Abdul-Rauf this week in Bahrain. I sensed a bit of dismay in her voice when she mentioned this tidbit, since she will not be there to welcome this man about whom she discusses with great admiration.
Imam Feisal is a true visionary in his efforts to create peace and understanding amid such turbulent topics. His project, the Cordoba Initiative, is being met with vitriolic backlash, much the way peacemakers before him have been addressed.
- Socrates was forced to die by poison for his belief that humans had souls.
- Jesus was crucified for his efforts to peacefully introduce new doctrine into mainstream society.
- Gandhi was a victim of prejudice, yet sought peaceful co-existence and political reform which was met with aversion.
- Martin Luther King, Jr. sought equality and peaceful race relations, but faced adversaries in mainstream America.
There is a long history of people seeking integration, peace, and unity while being met with hatred and violence. I only hope that Imam Feisal and the Cordoba Initiative can pave a new road for Western advancement, setting an example for world peace efforts.

Reporter: "Mr. Gandhi, what do you think of Western civilization?"
Gandhi: "I think it would be a very good idea."

"All we are saying, is give peace a chance" - John Lennon

Park51: Much ado about Mosque

2010-08-12T17:55:00.005-04:00

Photo by Val Kerry

Uproar over the building of a mosque on Ground Zero continues, yet those who protest once again prove my belief: the general population are sheep that will bleat loudly while blindly following a shepherd, instead of looking for the truth.

I often get agitated with people who panic or work themselves into frenzy before assessing a situation. Why waste energy? If there’s a problem, energy is better spent in finding a solution, rather than chewing on the issue. But, alas, I digress.

First and foremost, the fret over a mosque being at a location near the site where the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center stood is not necessary because Park51 is not a mosque, but is actually a community center designed to celebrate diversity and culture through arts, contemplation, and communication. Within the center, a wide variety of programs will be offered, intended to bring the best of the world to New York and the best of New York to the world. A childcare center, restaurant, culinary school, auditorium, and fitness facilities will also be included. Odd is the fact that people worry over the building of a mosque, citing it as an insult to those who died in the vicinity, yet, there are already long-standing mosques within a few blocks. A separate, unrelated, 501(3)(c) mosque will be housed at Park51 but will only be a small part of the multi-cultural, multi-storied building, and will welcome all visitors, carrying out the spirit and intent of Park51. Such a center is an honorable tribute to those affected by the attack on 9/11, and in no way defames them.

Perhaps the root of the distress is not over the building, but rather the fact that a Muslim is heading up the project. Mainstream America must get over irrational fears of Muslims. Again, the lack of knowledge is the cause of hatred and mistrust. Unfortunately for the majority of Muslims, extremists have misrepresented the religion’s true ideology. The same can be said for Christian extremists who have contributed to misconceptions about Baptists and Catholics. Every religion has its stereotypes, drawn from the actions of a few bad apples. Then there are those that twist religion to fit their mission. The Ku Klux Klan extends Christian love, but is it fair to say all Christians embrace the ways of the KKK? In the same way, many Americans have unjustly linked Muslims to the Taliban – a group that distorts its religion to carry out extremist actions.

My friend, Deonna Kelli Sayed, is a blonde-headed, American, born and bred in the South, but embraced the Muslim religion because of its values. She and I have had many discussions regarding world culture (her husband is United Nations diplomat in Bahrain ) and the purported “mosque” has been among the topics. “I wonder if we should call it a mosque, indeed,” she conveyed. “A new kind of mosque for a new kind of Muslim, a community center that embodies what Islam is about at its core: dialogue, relationship building, community development, and interfaith exchange.”

The World Trade Center stood tall and proud over the gateway of America, holding international commerce and racial, ethnic, and religious diversity. Muslim extremists chose to attack that site because of all that it represented. How appropriate for a Muslim man, reflecting the religion’s true doctrine, lead the building of Park51 which will be tribute to unity aside the new World Trade Center. “So if people want to call it a mosque, so be it,” said Deonna. “Let it be a transformative mosque, the kind that issues in a new paradigm.”

For more information and a toolkit on interfaith relations, visit http://gamc.pcusa.org/ministries/interfaith/

Single Ladies, little girls

2010-05-19T22:28:00.005-04:00

For centuries, little girls have emulated their mothers or other adult female role models around them. Wearing mom’s high heels, donning make up, and exhibiting adult mannerisms are all child’s play. Yet there are certain lines children shouldn't cross, and they depend on those same role model adults to teach them their limits. Good sense tells reasonable adults to not let a six-year-old smoke, drink alcohol, or wear stilettos on the street. Why, then, have certain parents and leaders of a dance competition gotten so defensive over public outcry regarding a troop of six- and seven-year- old children dancing provocatively?
The parents and contest spokesperson have weighed in saying there is nothing wrong with the dance. They believe that the people calling the gyrations perverse, are indeed perverse themselves. Even the little girls have been asked to weigh in on the topic, which is another bad move on the parents’ part because the girls are biased. The responses from all of those in the “pro” corner are nothing more than what is expected. If parents admitted to letting their children dance obscenely, the adults would be arrested.
No one likes to have other people judge his or her parenting skills. At the same time, this was a large dance competition, and these girls practiced endlessly in preparation. Did no one step up and even question the costume choice? Mid-drift tops, short shorts, and thigh high bowed stockings are not appropriate for elementary school girls who are kicking their legs over their shoulder and hugging their ankles to their ears. Gyrating hips are exactly that. Such moves are universal for fertility and sexuality.
Denying there is any resemblance to other choreographed versions of “All the Single Ladies,” one parent stated that the inspiration for this team was the trio of Chipettes from “Alvin and the Chipmunks Squeakquel.” Parents should first and foremost, refrain from teaching their children to emulate cartoon characters, but in this case, the Chipettes were clothed conservatively and any hip gyrations are indiscernible. Unfortunately, this knocks out the mom’s effort to put a cutesy spin on the sordid tale.
To compound what seemingly was a one-time faux pas, a second video, from the 2009 competition has surfaced. Once again, little girls are dressed in mid-drift tops, over-the-knee-high stockings with bows, and similar choreography to the song, “My Boyfriend’s Back.”. The links are being booted off the Internet almost as quickly as they appear.
The team of dancers did nothing wrong. They did as they were instructed by the adults around them, and their efforts were rewarded. The public scrutiny must seem like insane criticism to these girls since they have been praised for their hard work. Their technique, precision, and execution of style were exceptional and beyond the abilities of those three times their ages.
Parents, don’t make your kids grow up any faster than they already do. Besides, nothing can compare to the knock-out version of the now controversial tune.

Nashville - still waters run deep

2010-05-16T14:19:00.007-04:00

Note: I've made multiple efforts to correct the sizing on this video to no avail. If it appears skewed on your monitor, view on YouTube.

I heard about it on the news - briefly. Tennessee was hit with terrible rains a few weeks ago; Nashville flooded. That was all. No rallying cries for aid to a community devastated by a 500-year flood; no ads for fund-raising concerts; no celebrity endorsements through Larry King interviews. Like the rain, the news dropped the flood waters and moved on to other locations.

Thanks to my sister from the Memphis area, I have been enlightened. One thing you will notice in this footage - the photos are varied. Most news stories latch onto a few photos that are shown over, and over ... and over again, as though the producers have Asperger's Syndrome.

Greensboro Children's Museum Stepping on Tows

2010-04-12T22:59:00.004-04:00

When I pulled into the parking lot on March 17, only a few cars were there, which was status quo for early in the evening. Yet, the sign caught my eye -- a warning that vehicles in the lot after hours would be towed. "Has that sign always been there?" I dug around in my brain trying to recall my prior visits. Everything else looked normal, and in spite of the voice on my shoulder warning me to move, I was sure I'd be fine parked in the lot across the street from the main branch of the Greensboro Public Library.

About 1 1/2 hours later, I came out of the library to find my car was gone. Sure it was my fault - I ignored the sign, thinking that the lot would be cordoned off if trespassing was a problem. The Greensboro Children's Museum is non-profit and across from the library, so I assumed there must be some consideration for community neighbors. I assumed wrong.

I am even more disturbed that The Children's Museum is going to great lengths to ensure its lot is clear of trespassers, yet the CEO has her hand out to the Greensboro City Council in hopes of getting around $500,000 to keep the museum going.

I suggest that Ms. Grant exemplify being a good neighbor before she breaches the pockets of the taxpayers. I hand-delivered a letter to the museum on Sunday, while I was there with my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter. I don't know if Ms. Grant has read it yet, but I invite you to do so!

Betsy Grant, CEO
Greensboro Children’s Museum
220 North Church Street
Greensboro, North Carolina 27401

Dear Ms. Grant,

On a recent evening, I was visiting the Greensboro Public Library for a monthly community meeting. I have parked in the deck before, but also have parked in the lot of the Children’s Museum as it is after hours and does not deter from patron parking. Doing so is safer than walking to the deck alone at 9 pm where traffic and security are scarce.
I was astounded to find my vehicle had been towed from the museum lot and even more shocked at the $195 fee to retrieve my car. (Not to mention scrounging up a ride to get to the towing lot.)
As a lifelong resident of Greensboro, I have been proud of how the downtown businesses seem to work together to promote the area’s revitalization. The city does not charge for parking after 6 pm and encourages visitors to migrate to downtown for evening gatherings.
The fact that your non-profit agency would collaborate with a towing agency to profit off of such an endeavor is quite distressing. Such actions are contrary to the usual camaraderie among the community. I also find it interesting that you would ask for financial support from the City of Greensboro with such adversarial actions against the local residents and the instigation of this creative method of income.
What if a parent were visiting the museum with his or her child and, upon leaving, decided to visit the library? If the towing has begun because of loitering, then merely install a chain, rather than take advantage of those that would support your ventures.
I am a patron of the Children’s Museum, taking my family, my granddaughter, and several children’s groups from a local recreation department. Just as I have frequently recommended your attraction to others, I will also spread word of your lack of community fellowship. I also plan to share this information with the Greensboro City Council, News & Record, post to my online blog, and social media connections. Rather than blindside you with dispersal of my statements, like I was blindsided by towing, I have chosen to share my story in hopes that someone else will not suffer the same financial and mental duress I have endured.

Sincerely,

Beyond Tolerance to Acceptance

2010-04-01T01:50:00.005-04:00

During a recent class discussion, I questioned my students about their understanding of the difference between tolerance and acceptance. Immediately, I saw facial expressions change with their recognition of the relationship between the two terms. When discussing such issues in a classroom filled with adult students from a rural community, I steady myself in case there is backlash. I also make every effort to create an environment of open discussion rather than judging comments. Still, I was pleased that students nodded in agreement when considering the point that mere tolerance is not conducive to diversity. Several people in the class even noted that "the Bible doesn't say anything about 'tolerating' others; it says we should be accepting of each other."
Since the discussions in my classes, I have continued to mull over the attitudes and comments made, and from that I have drawn a few observations:

Even though I am helping them polish their communication skills through writing, these students are eloquent in their expressions of diversity and acceptance.
A closed mind can not expand or grow, thus any form of education, including life's lessons, comes to a halt.
Fear of the unknown, which includes lack of knowledge, hinders acceptance.

As for Fred Phelps and his cult at Westboro Baptist Church, what are they so afraid of, that they find it necessary to travel from Topeka, KS to Palo Alto, CA to criticize students for celebrating diversity and acceptance? Congratulations to the forward thinking high schoolers in their efforts to demonstrate peaceful unity and for embracing those that claim to be enemies. In order for someone to be an enemy, his aversion must be reciprocated. May others learn to follow Gunn High School's example by letting their little lights shine brightly to shrink the dark shadows of hatred.

Prejudice: A classroom adventure

2010-02-27T15:25:00.007-05:00

In order to get creative juices flowing and open up dialogue among students in my English composition classes, I decided to delve into prejudice and discrimination.

The community college where I teach is tucked away in a rural county of North Carolina that has been hit hard over the years with the demise of the tobacco and textile industries. Last year’s economic downturn resulted in an enrollment spike as people try to recreate their career goals. The Ku Klux Klan still thrives here, along with moonshine, stills, and backroom gambling. The communities within the county have deep roots in heritage, family, and tradition. Newcomers are observed with discriminating eyes, yet residents are generally friendly, warm, and sincere.

I am impressed with the diversity in my classes, with students ranging in age from 17 to 60+, male and female, married, single, divorced, parents, straight, gay, and a variety of skin tones, though many would only see black and white. Everyone gets along, and I’ve never seen any negative interactions. In fact, students seem to want to help each other. Still, I know that prejudice can be a touchy subject, and with an eclectic mix of students, I wasn’t sure what the responses would be.

I opened with a passage from It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It, by Robert Fulghum:

“It’s hard to judge without a lot more information. Oh sure, we go ahead and judge anyhow. But maybe, if judgment were suspended a bit more often, we would like us more.”

Pointing out that “prejudice” is derived from “prejudge,” I focused early discussion on why and how we prejudge. People learn from their surroundings, others, and by expanding their boundaries to explore beyond their limitations. We rely on what we know to guide us through the unknown. Current understanding is applied to fit into the unknown – the proverbial square peg in a round hole.

“Why do some people not like the dark?” I asked.

“Because they are scared,” was the general response.

“Why?”

“Because they don’t know what’s there.”

I pointed out that the same bias applies to prejudice. We prejudge other people because we don’t know them. We apply what we DO know and use it against what we DON’T know because we are afraid of what we don’t understand.

The nods and smiles around the room let me know I had made a connection. The discussion continued, as will further installations in this blog to share some of the revelations from class.

Metal Storm of Destruction

2010-01-30T13:39:00.003-05:00

When Alfred Nobel developed a way to control nitroglycerin for explosions, his intent was to make construction and blasting rock safer. He was a man with strong interest in social and peace-related issues and his invention of dynamite was intended to promote industry and progress - not as a giant step in the arms race. As a result, his fortune was used to begin the legacy of the Nobel Peace Prize.
I was reminded of Nobel's story upon learning of Metal Storm, a company that is developing new technology in weapons systems. Their concept is impressive and powerful, as shown in the video below.
Radical idiots in other countries have proven the need for defense, so I don't question those necessary, yet loathsome, tools. However, I am terrified of this next generation of weaponry. I can only wonder what these devices can do in the wrong hands, and I question if they are in the right hands now. The term "boys and their toys" also comes to mind when I consider that no women are on the executive board of this company. Men like Nobel and Gandhi head the list that proves men to be peaceful, yet it seems to take a great deal of testosterone to develop destruction. (Oxymoron intended!).
The U.S. Department of Defense may be ecstatic about the progress, but do they have the technology to defend our soldiers when these weapons are turned against our own forces - and do local police forces have the funding and know-how when these guns are in the hands of gang members and other criminals?

Technical "Support"?

2010-01-18T21:29:00.003-05:00

God bless the technical support person that has common sense as well as knowledge of their product. I presume they are few and far between, leaving their jobs due to frustration with the multitudes of co-workers that have absolutely no sense at all. These imbeciles can’t find their way through a conversation, much less deal with the average person. Yet, the tone of their canned rhetoric often is demeaning or condescending.
My experience tonight was a carbon copy of prior encounters. The textbook I use to teach a community college course has an instructor’s companion site, and I was having trouble gaining access. To contact tech support online chat, a form must be completed that includes the ISBN for the book, the URL for the site and a statement of the problem.
I stated that I was unable to access the instructor resources at xyz.com, giving the exact URL.
The conversation is self-explanatory, but I’ve added comments in parentheses:

You are now chatting with robert r
robert r: Thank you for contacting (Name of Company) Tech Support, my name is Robert. How may I help you tonight Iris?
Iris: Hi Robert - I'm trying to go from the url and click on Instructor Resources but am getting an error code Perhaps I need to re-sign in but can't find the sign in screen either
robert r: May I ask what website you are trying to do this on? (What happened to the info I just entered?)
Iris: oh yes - let me get it again I had it on the form to fill out for chat ... just a sec
Iris: http://(complete address) /ins_resources.html (five minutes pass)
robert r: Thank you, just one second please. (another five minutes)
robert r: May I ask what you are trying to access when you get to this page? (And I filled out that stupid form because ...?)
Iris: instructor resources
Iris: the first thing on the center of the page (tick tock tick tock … several more minutes)
robert r: Does it take you to a login page after you click that? (Did I mention that I might need to sign in but there's no sign in prompt???)
Iris: no i get an error message
robert r: What does the error say? (Ok – you asked for it …)
Iris: It says an error has occurred while processing your request. Contact technical support Error details: (I sent about 20 lines of technical lingo)
robert r: Ok, Just one second please. (10 minutes pass)
robert r: Have you cleared your cookies and cash from the computer?
Iris: yes (Stumped again, I suppose … another five minutes)
robert r: May I ask what web browser you are using?
Iris: not sure - IE 7 or 8 (That was in that form, too!)
Iris: I accessed the site earlier today without trouble
robert r: Have you tried to restart your computer since this problem started?
Iris: no
robert r: Ok, go ahead and try to restart it. If it still having the same issue, you can chat back and ask for me and we can go from there.
Iris: ok thanks

It seems rebooting is the universal cure-all. I don’t mind, but did he have to take 30 minutes to figure it out? And would someone please tell me what these folks are doing when the consumer is waiting? I used to give them the benefit of the doubt, thinking they must be juggling several calls at once.
Now, I think they must take coffee breaks, play solitaire, or yell, “Hey Stan … This lady has a problem and I can’t figure it out.” Stan then replies, “Tell her to reboot!” That’s a sure way to make a problem disappear!

Haitii profiteers

2010-01-17T10:03:00.004-05:00

While I acknowledge credit is a priviledge, the credit card companies also are in business for profit. Perhaps recent interest rate and policy changes have them scrambling for creative ways to pull profits, but dipping into Haitian relief efforts is like making change from the church offering plate. With millions of dollars donated by credit card, a 3% transaction fee adds up quickly. Don't fall for the news that some card companies are waiving fees for specific charities - the lists are missing major groups such as Doctors Without Borders. Taking advantage of tragedy and goodwill is wrong. No one should profit from disaster. For more information, and to sign a petition, please visit http://pol.moveon.org/nofees/?r_by=18607-17295176-WJw6Akx&rc=mailto.

Tommy Wrenn takes on Laramie Project

2010-01-09T20:54:00.004-05:00

On Oct. 12, 1998, Matthew Shepard succumbed to injuries sustained as a victim of a hate crime. Details of the case spread around the world, and news crews descended on Laramie, Wyoming. Even though his assailants attacked because Matthew was gay, the murderers could not be charged with a hate crime since no federal or state laws were in place. Almost immediately, efforts were made to create hate crime legislation yet, thanks to "politics," it took 11 years to succeed. In October 2009, President Obama held true to his word and signed the legislation named in honor of Matthew Shepard and another hate crime victim, James Byrd, Jr.
The Laramie Project is a collection of statements made by people in the town of Laramie, documenting details, recollections, and reactions to Matthew's attack. Moise's Kaufman and fellow members of the Tectonic Theater Project conducted more than 200 interviews over the course of a year and half. The resulting play has also been produced by HBO as a feature film.
Thanks to Tommy Wrenn, Laramie citizens were portrayed on a local stage by high school students. Just 17 years old, Tommy directed the play for his senior high school graduation project. The students on stage were only a few years younger than Matthew was when he died; many of them are headed for college just like Matthew was enrolled in the University of Wyoming. The actors told a story of a peer.
Their performance this weekend was astounding, conveying much more than dialogue of a play. The audience cheered, clapped, and offered a standing ovation to the cast and director for a job well-done, yet the energy conveyed seemed to honor Matthew and The Laramie Project as well. Hate is everywhere, and though Tommy Wrenn may or may not realize it, he stared down the monster when he chose a labor of love. The countless hours devoted to his senior project came to fruition sending out positive energy for the Greensboro, NC community. Our town has had its share of history laced with hatred; kudos to the school administrators that allowed the production, and thanks to Tommy for sharing the love. Matthew lives on in the hearts of those who have shared his story.

Sense-ational

2010-01-03T23:21:00.003-05:00

As people hustle through life, someone inevitably sends out the reminder to "stop and smell the roses." Yet, how often does each person take heed? Taking time to use each sense - touch, see, smell, taste, hear - is the opportunity to relieve stress and literally take time for oneself. The additional benefits can include creating precious memories from such experiences, noticing something that is ordinarily not perceived, connecting with another human, or finding humor to lift the spirit.
Often, life can be overwhelming, and it is easier for me to slip into routine or hide away as much as I can. Yet, if I take time, (e.g. force myself) to get out of my comfort zone, my life is enriched because of new sights or sounds.
I treasure the way sunlight plays with shadows on a tree-lined street; the smell of fresh mown grass or a crisp autumn morning delights my nose; the sound of my granddaughter's voice on the phone is a gift from heaven.
I have fallen into ruts, but I also have risked being caught by the sanity patrol for seizing unusual moments. My son and I laughed while jumping through the produce section of a grocery store avoiding dark colored tiles; I have used a different door to enter my house, not wanting to destroy a spider's work of art; I have carried on intriguing conversations with complete strangers; and done everything conceivable to embarass my children in front of their friends.
Asking questions and finding answers is another way I have found to expand my senses. Just recently, I received an email about an experiment where a famous violin player performed in a subway terminal. The goal was to see how many people would stop and listen. I was curious for more details than the email provided, and in the process found out The Washington Post earned a Pulitzer for "Pearls Before Breakfast." That article then referenced a movie I had heard of, but never had the opportunity to watch. Another quick search divulged that Koyannisqatsi is available in its entirety on YouTube.
I have every confidence that if I had been in that subway, I would have stopped and listened. If my children were younger and with me, I would have sat on the floor and enjoyed it with them. I also know that, in the future, I will not escape such an opportunity. Hopefully, dear reader, you will take time to enjoy a few of the gems I have provided here. At the very least, do stop and smell the roses.

New Year, New You

2009-12-31T17:13:00.004-05:00

Every year, on January 1, many people promise themselves changes. They make resolutions, vow to follow through, and very few actually see the fruition of the seeds they planted.
Often, fear of change is the biggest obstacle. Staying with the status quo is simpler and more predictable than changing routines or situations, even if the outcome would be better. Civil Rights issues have exemplified fears of change for over a century.
Relationships are a more personal example. While I am in full support of dedicated partners, I also know that some people stay with a significant other simply because of habit. Marriage vows are wonderful, but they are meant to be a two-way partnership. The balance may shift within the relationship, but there should always be give and take. If one side isn't keeping up his or her end of the deal, why should the "better half" maintain a broken contract? Yet, relationships from marriage to casual dating will continue because the miserable party would rather continue than endure change for potential better.
Looking at a more global concept, people fail to care for the environment because they don't see how one small effort can affect the greater good. Yet, I personally can see an impact from my own recycling efforts. I was recycling before recycling was popular. I would pick up cans on the side of the road, bundle newspapers, and encouraged co-workers to follow suit. When I moved outside of the city limits, and recycling containers were not accessible, I got out of the habit. Recently, I made the extra effort to find drop-off sites, which are actually more accessible than I realized. I have reduced my garbage by half or more, and the process was much simpler than I had imagined. What if everyone in my community reduced their garbage by half? What if everyone in the country reduced their garbage by half? One person, making one effort, could create an entire chain of change!
Whether it is complacency, habit, or lack of motivation, change, when needed, doesn't haven't to be difficult. All that is required is the first move.

Snow Storm

2009-12-18T16:18:00.005-05:00

A man named Mark saved my life today, and he doesn't know it. When the last student left after taking the exam in my class, it was 3 p.m. I made sure the computers were off, turned out the lights, and locked up the classroom. The building was empty except for the secretary; her husband would pick her up at 5 p.m. When we had looked out the window earlier, snow covered the commons area of the community college campus. By the time I walked out the door, slush covered the brick sidewalks. I shuffled to check out the traction. If the bricks weren't slick, I knew the asphalt should be fairly safe. One other car was on the far side of the parking lot and the snow was coming down fast and thick.

I ambled onto the road, driving slowly, but not too worried since the snow was fresh and not icy. The road crested a hill before snaking downwards. I wouldn't have given it much thought except a large SUV was sitting in the left lane with a crushed front end. The nose was pointed toward the yellow line, the back end leaned into the far ditch. Seeing the car made me slow down, but as I gently applied brakes to stop, I felt my own car try to fishtail. The road was much slicker than I had assessed, and this particular location was treacherous. Just ahead, a man was walking along the road towards the closest house.

Cell phone reception in this county is non-existent; the house looked empty. I rolled down my window and pulled up next to the man. "Do you need help or want a ride?" He stopped and looked at me. I could tell he was dazed, but seemed relieved. He knew the man in the house, but didn't think the owner was home. "Could you give me a lift home?" I didn't hesitate to let him get in the car.

As we moved forward, he told me where he lived, which wasn't too far. The shock was wearing off, and I could sense his shakiness. "When I saw the trees, I figured that was it for me," he said. He had decided to visit his friend "before the roads got bad." He came over the hill and started spinning before he realized what was happening. After bouncing off a tree, the car came to a rest on the opposite shoulder. He was bumped around, but fortunately avoided serious injury. Mark and I made quick introductions and I slowly drove him home.

"Should I call the sheriff? Or just get a tow-truck out here?" Mark was trying to decide the best course of action; his wife was out of town, and he was getting shakier by the minute. I suggested he call the sheriff to report the accident. At least then, he'd have it on record in case he wanted to file insurance. Noting he didn't have collision, I said, "Do it anyway; you'll regret it if you don't." His plan was to get his brother to drive him back to the scene of the accident. He also had another car at home.

When I dropped him off, I turned down his offer to reimburse me for gas. Instead, I thanked Mark. If I had not seen his accident, it would have been me on side of the road. Being in a much smaller car, I probably would not have survived, much less been able to walk.

On my way home, the snow came down harder, traffic was scarce, and the two-lane highways were barely visible under their white blanket. I drove carefully, thankful for the opportunity to not only help Mark, but to recognize that his accident saved me from tragedy.

'Tis the Season

2009-12-17T23:23:00.004-05:00

The holiday season is supposed to fill people with Christmas spirit, glad tidings, and fa-la-la-adry, yet I am meeting more people than ever who seem to be running low on ho-ho-hos. Not only is their cheer missing, they seem to feel guilty and apologetic for their deflated attitude. I must confess, I am among the sojourners of dolefulness.

Part of the problem is the retail world's vehemence towards profiteering from the gullibility of consumers. During a time when people should give to others because of caring and loving relationships, the public is inundated with marketing campaigns. Commercialism has saturated the intimacy of a sacred season, and the virus is spreading.

Christmas merchandise and decorations were going up in stores before Halloween. Across the aisles from skeletons, cauldrons, and witches' hats were reindeer, stockings, and Santa caps. Spooky laughter and clattering competed with singing elves. The Nightmare Before Christmas is taking on more relevance as each year passes. I can recall when the Friday after Thanksgiving was an unveiling of Christmas sales, decorations, and yuletide greetings. My mother's memories go even further back, as she recently recalled the magic of the holiday season's unveiling. "We would drive downtown on Thanksgiving day, and all the store windows would be covered with brown paper," she said. "On Friday morning, it was like Santa had waved a magic wand and changed everything." Brown paper was removed to reveal storefronts decorated for the season. The city's lights and decorations lined the streets. A parade beckoned the multitudes, and when the show was over, shoppers filled the stores. Retailers can't gain a huge impact on Black Friday when they start competing for shoppers a month ahead of time.

Commercialism, however, is not the only thing that ruins the season for me. Self-righteous Christians have started thumping their Bibles to the tune of the Little Drummer Boy, as well. Narrow-minded thinkers have joined in on a campaign to ban "Happy Holidays" in favor of "Merry Christmas." I suppose this is the follow up to putting the "Christ" back into "Christmas," or the opposition to "Xmas." Unfortunately, ignorance has led the way to a path of intolerance and misunderstandings.

Xmas is actually a clear and equal representation of Christmas. "X" is the Greek letter "chi" which is the first letter of Christ. Using the term Xmas is not a sign of disrespect, but rather an older homage.

Saying "Happy Holidays" to another person is not negating the impact of Jesus' birth. Instead, it carries on what I believe to be His message. The Jesus that I believe in would say that it doesn't matter what the day is called, as long as people remember the true purpose. His birth gave people hope and a reason to follow His word. He offered messages of unity and respect, regardless of differences. Even among Christians, the beliefs vary. To denounce another person's faith, is to disrespect a child of God. How can a true Christian go against the very teachings of Christ?

Whether someone just recently observed Ramadan, is lighting the Menorah for Hanukkah, will celebrate the Seven Principles of Kwanzaa, attends Christmas Eve mass, or has a merry Christmas, I wish everyone a Happy Holiday.

In the meantime, I will continue to sort out my disdain for the retailers and the holier-than-thous, and find my own light within to merge with the one above.

Namaste

New Moon illuminates skewed justice

2009-12-06T13:45:00.004-05:00

Celebrating a birthday at the movies is not unusual, but a Chicago woman spent two nights in jail for trying to record the event. She now faces up to three years in prison for film piracy charges. The 22-year-old recorded a group of friends singing "Happy Birthday" to her older sister who turned 29. Presents were opened and the gaiety was caught by camera, along with approximately four minutes of the feature film, "New Moon."

The accused claims that she was not filming the movie, voices can be heard, and the focus is on the party subjects, not the feature. I have no reason to doubt that is not the case, and believe authorities should let the incident go with a warning.

The main crime here, not punishable by law, is the ruckus this group probably made for the remainder of the audience. Movie tickets are expensive, and I don't tolerate rudeness in a theatre. If you have a phone call, conversation, screaming baby, or other distraction, I will remind you to leave when you don't do so promptly. My imagination goes wild at the prospect of witnessing a full-blown birthday party with adults giggling like adolescents while the movie is playing! (On a side note: Why would you open presents in a theatre? Where do you keep them - on a sticky floor or in a seat that flips closed?)

Like many accused criminals, facts surrounding the incident can cause a great deal of embarrassment, regardless of the final outcome. A grown woman spent two nights in jail because she was recording the ridiculous behavior of a party while watching a very bad, very adolescent movie. Perhaps Hanna Montana DVDs and Britney Spears CDs were among the gifts!

While Chicago police broke up this movie piracy scam, the Salahis have bounced a check to a liquor store for $24,000, they roam free after breaching White House security, and are trying to scam payment for interviews. As politicians have proven for many years, criminals get free reign in the D.C. area.

Maybe it is time for Justice to remove her blindfold and take a look at her enforcers.

Reflecting as a caregiver

2009-12-04T11:28:00.003-05:00

Caregiving doesn't have to be a full-time effort for the duties to be all-consuming. When someone you love needs help of any kind, they stay on your mind, often interrupting your thoughts and efforts towards other obligations. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I find myself neglecting this blog at times.
I constantly see topics I wish to address, but my mind is diverted towards my own survival and the needs of my mother. Even though she is in a retirement community, she lives independently, but not self-sufficiently. Thus, my reason for creating a new blog.
Muttonchops is designed to address social issues, so rather than sprinkle in unrelated topics, I am creating one that focuses on caregiver issues. Hopefully, I can provide insight and humor, as well as unload my brain of some stress so that I can redirect my energies to more productive endeavors. At least, for now, that's the plan. Feel free to sit in on the Caregiver's Window Seat (http://caregiverswindowseat.blogspot.com/)

Left home alone

2009-10-22T20:46:00.005-04:00

My sister lives in the suburbs of Memphis and brought a recent news article to my attention. A mother of two toddlers, ages 2 and 3, left the children at home alone while she and her aunt "ran errands." The house caught on fire killing one child and leaving the younger in critical condition.

The fact that the aunt seemed more worried about the condition of her purse and public assistance card than the children only added to public disgust. As I watched the woman speak on camera, I wondered if she was mentally unstable or was drunk. Yet, she was too coherent to be inebriated.
I then turned my thoughts to my own 26-month-old granddaughter. I called my daughter to share the report. Incredulous, she said, "Why did they BOTH have to go ... no wait ... they were going to score drugs!" Her answer fits perfectly. It explains why the aunt is so disconnected, why they wouldn't take the kids, and why they'd reason away risks. My daughter went on to conclude that the children probably got hungry and tried to cook food.
This is complete supposition, and hopefully, the facts will come out. Public outcry lambastes the district attorney for not filing charges. I can only hope he is trying to assemble a strong and tight case against the women so that they have no chance of being dismissed on a technicality.
A myriad of books give child rearing advice, but none offer technical guidance. If you lack common sense and need a manual to raise children, then 1) don't have them, and 2) at least look at the law books. In North Carolina, it is illegal to leave children under the age of 12 unattended. I'm sure other states have similar laws, reinforcing the fact that baaaaaad parents are everywhere.

Crawford vs. Balloon Boy

2009-10-20T22:19:00.004-04:00

As I sat working on the computer, I was also watching "Strait-Jacket" on the Turner Classic Movie Channel. The actress screamed which was louder than the rest of the movie had been. My 20-year-old son came in to see what happened. The following conversation ensued:
Me: I'm watching an old Joan Crawford movie.
Son: I don't know who she is.
Me: Did you ever see "Mommie Dearest"?
Son: Yeah
Me: That movie was about this actress.
Son: Ohhh - the crazy woman.
Me: Well, she wasn't crazy - just ...
Son: Oh - yeah - right, beating people with wire hangers isn't crazy. Wait -beating CHILDREN isn't crazy!
Me: (laughing hysterically)
Son: (walking away) Good to know who's side you're on mom!

She's no worse than Balloon Boy's parents. At least Crawford already had her fame established and was a shrewd business woman. Her children were adopted as accessories. Balloon Boy was a forced accessory to criminal behavior. Who's crazy now?!

Wisdom to know the difference

2009-10-09T11:44:00.005-04:00

The italicized text below was sent to me in an email, obviously supported by the friend that sent it. The message absolutely makes my skin crawl and sends chills up my spine. I will send a note to the person saying "Surely you don't believe this crap?" yet I am fascinated by the way people are so easily led, or accept such sweeping, generalized remarks.

Even the most wholesome of television shows has issues. The Cleavers and Nelsons had no racial diversity and set a standard of an unattainable family lifestyle that forced the average American to build a wall around any deviation from the publicized "norm."

Do people immitate what they see on television? Or is television merely a mirror of what people do? Personally, I see give and take in the public's relationship to media. Video games and movies do not create violent children. Unstable children believe they can mimic fantasy.

My children would see idiots doing things on television, laugh, and say, "How stupid can people be?!" They learned the difference between fact and fiction, and used critical thinking skills, which serve them well as adults. If only the creator of the following statements had critical thinking skills of his or her own!

The following are examples of what we are teaching and allowing to be taught to our children. There are many others that do much the same.
How much of the following do you want your children doing?

American Idol – Dance your Ass Off - Dance – We glorify sexually explicit dancing

American Idol - Sing – We glorify singing of immoral actions

UFC - Cage Fight – WWE - We glorify “no rules” fighting

Various Fraudulent Movies [Fahrenheit 911, Inconvenient Truth] Actors – We glorify acting and actors of ill repute who have no real veracity, character or life experience

Various Shows in search of Food - Food – We encourage the glorification of food and gluttony

Commercials Drinking – We encourage the glorification of drinking and drunkenness

Mad Men - Sex – We encourage sexual promiscuity, adultery, corrupt business practices

Chemistry Teacher Making Illegal Drugs - Drugs – We glorify the manufacture and sale of illegal drugs

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy – Glorification of homosexuality as a “normal” lifestyle

Glorification of Politically Corrupt and Questionable people - OBAMA AND COMPANY

And all the above comes from the “ Hollywood ” crowd and movie/network moguls.

Crazy like a Criminal - Smart details Mitchell's assault

2009-10-03T21:32:00.006-04:00

When I read the details of Elizabeth Smart's ordeal from when she was held captive by Brian David Mitchell, I admired her strength and ability to move beyond the nightmare that consumed nine months of her young life.
When I read that she was testifying at Mitchell's new competency hearing, I was stunned. I suppose I assumed that the guy was rotting in jail, where he should be. Instead, he has been tested, and re-tested, for mental stability. Obviously the guy is whack-o! Why are we spending good tax dollars on having him evaluated for competency to stand trial? Anyone that would creep into a little girl's bedroom at night, whisk her away for a make-shift wedding, keep her tethered to a line, rape her multiple times on a daily basis, and threaten to kill her entire family if she tried to escape, is beyond any level of sanity.
The man is coniving, calculating, and dangerous. He sang hymns in court and preached to the judge - which easily could be an effort to underscore his insanity plea. Since his religious outbursts are evidentiary to his being off-balance, does that mean that zealots declaring God's word in an unusual manner are subject to being considered insane? I'm surprised there is no outcry from evangelistic corners whose representatives should be insulted!
Anyone that commits a crime has to be somewhat unstable, though many are saner than some of the oddities in Walmart. When a crime is committed, and continues repeatedly or long-term, there should be no doubt that the accused is off-balance. Any serial killer is a prime example. If they are competent enough to carry out a crime, they are competent enough to stand trial.
I believe in our system of "innocent until proven guilty," but Mitchell wasn't plucked out of thin air, and the evidence is far beyond circumstantial.
The only thing crazier than Mitchell, is the system that wants to "prove" he is insane.

Charles Manson

Summer in the South Pole

2009-10-02T23:07:00.004-04:00

All of my life, I have recognized that everyone has a story, and that became more deeply seated when I was a news editor. Taking mom out and getting our nails done today proved there to be no exception.
I would never expect an eyebrow waxing to lead discussing a trip to the Antartic with a stranger, but it did. As I settled into the chair for a pedicure, a few words were exchanged with the woman next to me. When she learned I was going to get my eyebrows done, she wondered if she should follow suit, noting her upcoming trip to the South Pole.
South Pole?! Suddenly penguins from "Happy Feet" were dancing through my mind and the interrogation began!
Emily Wilson is currently a physician's assistant in Greensboro with cardio and internal medicine experience. She said that, after doing the same thing for about 20 years, she was ready for a change. Recognizing a great opportunity and adventure, she pursued a position with Raytheon Polar Services which is under government contract to provide services to the US Antarctic Program . Her family is in Philadelphia and there are no local ties or children, so she is making preparations to be down there by Oct. 15.
She'll live in a dormitory-like atmosphere, with computer access but no television. "Which is fine with me," she said. South of the equator, spring is beginning. There is only one day and one night at the South Pole, so she'll be there for the day - which actually lasts six months. Astronomy is another of Emily's interests and she seems excited to be able to learn more about the studies underway at the site.
I recalled the story about the doctor that was rescued from a polar station when diagnosed with breast cancer. Emily confirmed that she will be at the same location. In fact, Dr. Nielsen passed away in June, 10 years after her leading non-medical personnel through a biopsy and initial self-treatment.
Emily's trip to the McMurdo Station will include a 24-hour plane trip to Australia, with a few hops and a final military flight from the tip of New Zealand to the Antarctic. When she returns state-side, Emily said, "I have no idea what I'll be doing." I have a feeling, she won't have any problems finding a job -- or another adventure. As for myself, my ears - and mind - are always open.

Follow Emily's blog for updates on her experience at http://southpoledancing.blogspot.com .

Straight on Gay

2009-09-25T14:52:00.008-04:00

A dear friend sent me the quotes listed below, in an email. Not only did I find the comments funny, I found them astoundingly accurate and insightful. Then I began wondering why people are so anti-gay. I can remember being secretive more than 15 years ago when my first husband could no longer deny his own sexual identity, but why is this segment of the population still under scrutiny?
When I was around the age of 10, my family lived in a new development, and there were plenty of young girls around my own age. We played and went to school together. It wasn't long before a cycle of ostracization developed. One girl could look at another in an odd way and suddenly, the stronger of the two had the rest of the group ignoring the one. I came home crying on more than one occasion, as did others, I'm sure. One girl tried to pick a fight with me, but I refused. I couldn't bring myself to punch her, even after she shoved me. Miscommunication and insecurities seemed to lead the way for peer banishment. People moved, dynamics shifted, we grew up, and got over it.
Why can't adults do the same thing? People get on the offensive because they don't understand another person. Instead of trying to become educated, it seems easier for some to remain closed-minded and denounce differences. Others even try to stand behind religious documents, such as the Bible, to justify their hatred. Again, miscommunication and insecurities seem to lead the way to hatred.
One undeniable, proven factor about the Bible is - it was written by humans, altered by humans, and historically used by religious leaders as a way governing the minions. Stories were handed down verbally before eventually being written. They've been translated so many times that it is practically impossible to know what the original message intended. While there are wonderful messages, there also is room for miscommunication and misinterpretation.
Now, don't get self-righteous on me - I believe in prophecy, a higher power, and in Jesus' teachings. However, the God I believe in is kind, infalible, and put us together on earth to learn from each other. The person that assembled these quotes and sent them in an email, in my eyes, is a messenger of God's intentions - as we all should be - and that message should be one of unity.

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in sick to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." ~ Robin Tyler

I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother. ~ Charles Pierce

"Dear Abby," In response to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood. 'You could move.' ~ Abigail Van Buren.

The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the military is that the next time the government mandates a draft, we can all declare we are homosexual instead of running off to Canada. ~ Lorne Bloch

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?" ~ Jon Stewart

My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share. ~ Rita Mae Brown

Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons. ~ Letter to the Editor, The Advocate

You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight. ~ Barry Goldwater

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? ~ Ernest Gaines

My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

"Drag is when a man puts on everything we lesbians won't." -Robin Tyler, comic

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic." ~ Shelly Roberts

My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen because she thought I was a latent homosexual. There was nothing latent about it. ~ Amanda Bearse

It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain.... ~ Francis Maude

The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.... ~ Rita Mae Brown

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. ~ Lynn Lavner

Related posts : Prop8 or Prop Hate? and Anti-Gay Cash Cows

America - land of the free

2009-09-07T01:38:00.006-04:00

Complaints about immigrants are uttered in living rooms across the country. As Americans, we feel our space is invaded and that “foreigners” are usurping our resources. We fight hard to keep our freedoms, our jobs, roofs over our heads, and food on our tables. Yet, we are complacent and unappreciative of what we do have.
Fortunately, I have met some people that are educating me about the realities that exist beyond America's borders. News reports that used to seem so far away have materialized into very real faces that I am getting to know each week.
Every Saturday morning, I volunteer with a movie-making class. (see inset for details) The adult students are immigrants and they are each creating a one-minute film related to a journey. I am getting snippets of their stories during class discussions and when I offer one-on-one assistance.
One student’s journey began when she fled religious persecution. As a Christian in Burma, Joyce was a minority in her homeland where 90 percent of the population is Buddhist. Government rulers consider Christianity a progressive western influence and its practice is prohibited. Books published outside of the country are contraband, making the Bible illegal. Violators are thrown in jail.
Joyce left Burma, huddled with her daughter and 20 other refugees, covered with tarps, in the bottom of a boat made to hold four people. As they crossed the waterway, they prayed waves would not capsize their overloaded boat or they would not be discovered by the water patrol.
Once they arrived in Thailand, guides led them across the country. Joyce said they walked for weeks, barefooted in order to reduce the sounds of their footsteps. They walked through swamps, peeled away leeches, waded through high grasses, thick brush, and over thorny vines. “We couldn’t make a sound, even when the thorns pricked our feet,” she said. The snap of a twig could give away their location to human traffickers or policing authorities. After walking across Thailand, Joyce made her way into a Malaysian refugee camp, eventually coming to America.
She continually gives thanks to God and seems excited to have an opportunity to record her story.
Last week, as she and I walked across a parking lot to film a segment for her class project, she looped her arm in mine and smiled. I commented about how much I admired her for what she has endured. She stopped and pointed to her feet. “I never believed, I never dreamed, that I would ever be here, with my feet on this parking lot, in this city, in America.”
She and her husband are together, both working and contributing to the community.
“I gave my first paycheck to help other refugees, said Joyce. “I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food to eat – I don’t need anything else.”
I was humbled and choked back tears as Joyce hugged and thanked me for helping her with her story.
Her English is broken, but her emotion is universal.

“Movie-Making for Immigrants and Refugees” is a partnership between FaithAction International House (including its VISTA volunteer, Trish Perkins), the American Friends Service Committee, the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, and Worlds Touch, an international technical assistance organization founded and directed by Trish, in her spare time. Through digital storytelling, participants have the opportunity to acquire new technological skills, hone communication skills, as well as interact with the community at-large.
For more information, check out the links above as well as Trish’s blog.

Keeping kids on a leash

2009-08-05T10:39:00.003-04:00

A mom in Georgia is now under public scrutiny for dragging her toddler by a leash through a store. At first glance, the tactic seems brutal, but after watching the video I am convinced people need to cut this mom some slack - at least until all the evidence is presented.
My biggest pet peeve is how the masses make snap decisions based on initial data, popular opinion, or what is politically correct.
In handling children, there are some that believe a higher road should be taken. They seem to have a zen approach, talk calmly to little ones, and never use corporal punishment. My experience with such saintly parents has been that they are 1) oblivious to the unruly and disruptive behavior of their children; 2) don't have children and are working from theory; 3) are blessed with sedate tots; or 4) they are lying about how they raise their kids.
Instead of assuming the woman with a toddler on a leash is the reincarnate of Irma Grese, let's provide the benefit of the doubt with a more viable option. Assuming the child is wearing a harness, and not a choker, he quite possibly has previously demonstrated the need for restraint. The mother is not yelling, running or struggling, but instead is walking deliberately, keeping her head held high. Such stature reflects the determination of other moms when they ignore, rather than give in to, a child's tantrum.
When I was a toddler, my parents took the family to visit the USS North Carolina. I was about three years old and can remember bits of our visit. It was the early '60s, the days before car seats and seat belts, but my mom believed in safety. A harness was available that could be secured by a seat belt, so mom bought it. A nifty gadget, I could have range of motion, but if she had to slam on brakes, I was secured to the seat. When we arrived at the ship, mom used the harness as a "leash" because I was extremely active and she envisioned me getting away and falling overboard. My parents heard people make comments under their breath and saw heads shake in disapproval. Still, I was safe and mom was thankful for the restraint. I remember wearing the harness and was only bothered because I knew I couldn't get away!
Payback is hell, and my own daughter graced me with the same unruliness I had provided for my mother. Except, Elizabeth's antics were laced with the thread of "no fear."
My mom could squeeze my hand in public and I knew the signal meant, "stop misbehaving." Getting my daughter to hold my hand was a challenge and when I tried squeezing a warning to her, she responded by collapsing to her knees and yelling, "Owwwww! STOP squeezing my hand .... you're HURTING me!"
She threw a tantrum in the grocery store so I ignored her and went around the corner. I waited for her to come running in fear. HA! When I feared for her safety and peered around the corner, she was happily playing with the stock.
Elizabeth's dad and I tried to calmly discipline her while we were shopping at JC Penney's. She was around three years old and enjoyed hiding in the racks of clothes. Exasperated, we decided to use a "scare" tactic. "Where's Elizabeth?" I asked, feigning concern." Her dad responded, "I don't know, maybe she's gone forever." We backed away, keeping an eye on the rack where she was hiding. We watched, crouched behind another rack, expecting her to pop out at any moment, with a look of terror at the prospect of being abandoned. We waited, stifling giggles of expectation. We watched, but there was no movement. Giggles turned to concern and we moved closer. She was gone. Fortunately, we guessed her direction correctly and caught up with her a few hundred feet down the aisle. She was happily toddling through the store without a care. So much for teaching her a lesson.
Watching this video only brings back the emotions tied to my own experiences and I absolutely can imagine myself in this woman's shoes. If I could go back in time, I'd do things a bit differently. Surveillance videos would catch me doing the same thing this woman is, with one difference - I'd have a smile on my face!

FCC has "Little" problem

2009-07-08T11:59:00.005-04:00

Joan Rivers has always been hysterically offensive and will poke fun at herself as much as she does others. Donald Trump is just offensive and everyone makes fun of him. I even risked insulting a dog when poking fun at Trump.

moar funny pictures

Together, Rivers and Trump have managed to upset a small - make that "little" - segment of the population by using the word "midget" on "Celebrity Apprentice." As a result, there has been ~~an uprising~~ a subversive move towards having the word banned from television.
As a writer, I know how important word choices can be. I also recognize that verbiage is only 10 percent of spoken communication. Intonation, intent, content, and body language all contribute to nuances of messages. Being politically correct is getting tiresome and this isn't the first time I've addressed the issue.
Banning a word from television doesn't make it any less or more offensive. In fact, such a ban is the technological equivalent of burning books. Instead of prohibiting language, discussion should be encouraged in order to educate the masses. Avoiding a word doesn't make it go away. The government, in this case the FCC, is not the authority that I want dictating public verbiage.
Certain words, in certain circumstances, uttered by certain people can make a word bad, funny, or just awkward.
I've heard the "n" word --WAIT --Trying to be politically correct here is an oxymoron!
Correction: I've heard the word "nigger" used by racists and felt disgusted at hearing it. I've laughed hearing the word spoken by black comedians in jokes or scripts. I've also rolled my eyes when hearing my own grandfather use the word, not as an epithet, but only because he was born at the cusp of the 20th century and it defined his culture. Sure I scolded him, was embarrassed for him, but I also recognized he meant no harm.
Sometimes efforts to be politically correct can backfire, such as the case when Houston's director of affirmative action called a councilman a midget instead of a dwarf and the public official took offense. The employee giggled when she made the mistake, which seemed to add insult to injury. Perhaps, the giggle was a natural reaction to an embarrassing mistake. Immature maybe, but not derogatory.
At other times, political correctness can move the harm from one set of toes, and cause someone else's to fall victim. A "little person" in El Paso was interviewed regarding the proposed ban. Daniel "Tiny Titi" Moreno finds the term "midget" offensive. He doesn't mind being called tiny but endorses the ban. He also has the nickname "Titi." At first glance, I was personally offended at what I thought was one of the seven words banned on television, made famous by George Carlin. Titi is actually pronounced TEE-tee, which I am not sure is any better than my first impression.
I was a young child when I learned that midgets and dwarfs were not the same. Dwarfism is actually a condition causing disproportion in a person's body. Generally the head is average in size but the body is smaller, with specific attributes. A midget is a miniature version - proportionate, just smaller. A pygmy is even smaller than a midget. These are real terms with genuine definitions. They didn't develop from slang and the term "little people" has emerged within the current generation as the preferred terminology.
I've heard people stumble over the words in an effort to be polite in describing a little person, ultimately shrugging or nodding, indicating no harm, no foul.
It is hard enough to get people to play by the rules, but when the rules are changed mid-game, we have to offer some sort of allowance. When I was a kid, I was called "crippled" because I walked with crutches. I knew people didn't mean harm, but the word made me cringe. Handicapped became the choice word until "disabled" became the norm; and now, the term has graduated to "physically challenged." A person is no longer mentally retarded, nor do they have "Downs Syndrome," or any other brain injury. Instead, they are now "mentally challenged."
Increasing vocabulary and expanding our ability to describe our fellow humans is a plus. However, the most mundane word can be twisted to invoke hatred.
1) What is that? - an innocent question about an object
2) Did you see that? - an accusation of something inappropriate
3) She thinks she's all that! - a derogatory comment
The issue is not words, but what people are actually saying. We must stop "hearing" and start "listening."

Nicole "Zamboni" Bobek

2009-07-07T15:27:00.005-04:00

Nicole Bobek has been arrested and charged with being part of a drug ring. The former figure skating champion has homes in New Jersey and Florida and is believed to be involved in the distribution of methamphetamine.
Hmmm ... Imagine that - a figure skater in a ring, manufacturing and distributing "ice" ... Let's call her "Zamboni"!!
If she gets caught in the "snow" or starts "speed" skating, does that mean she's an all-around winter sports champ? Does living in Florida and maintaining a NJ home make her a "snow bird"? Unfortunately, the evidence is piling up, and this gal may end up a caged bird.

Anti-Abortion Terrorists

2009-06-20T14:11:00.002-04:00

The murder of Dr. George Tiller and subsequent discussions have me recalling incidents where my own ob/gyn has feared for his life.
Dr. Tiller was in the foyer of his church when a 51-year-old man shot and killed Tiller for performing abortions. A radical pro-lifer felt justified in killing a physician - a grown, well-educated man that was meeting a medical need in a legal and safe manner. Such vigilantism is pious and sacrilegious, going against the very nature of pro-life mantras. Members of pro-life organizations speak of perpetuating life, yet they have no concern for quality of life. Jim Buie addresses the issue using a very personal example, with his recent article in Newsweek.
When I first met my gynecologist, I was impressed with the questions he asked. He wanted to know about me, what I wanted for the future and whether I had concerns. It wasn't the usual rubber stamp process and he looked me directly in the eyes. When I became pregnant with my second child, he became well-informed about my first pregnancy and considered me high-risk. While I knew he deeply cared about my baby, I also knew he focused on me as the patient. I did not become a mere host, secondary to the potential developing person.
I never felt rushed in his presence. During one visit, when I had questions, he put down the pen and file, sat down, looked at me squarely and said - "okay - what's on your mind." He was paged three times for a phone call and never flinched, never took his eyes off of me. The nurse poked her head in the room, and said, "Dr. X is on the phone for you!" My doctor calmly said, "Tell him I will call him back." Complete focus - what every patient dreams of - was mine.
His care and concern stayed with me and when I found out a local group of anti-abortionists were harassing my doctor (one of only two physicians performing abortions in the area at that time) and his family, I was livid. I cheered when the local paper reported he was filing a law suit and called his answering service to leave a message of support. Even the operator seemed pleasantly surprised at my message of goodwill, indicating she had been fielding a majority of hate calls.
Because of the intrusions he has suffered at the hands of zealots, I have respected his privacy and avoided asking direct questions about his experience. Still, I learned that protesters gathered regularly at his home, blocking the driveway, following his children, and presenting in a threatening manner. He finally moved to a gated community where all visitors are screened.
In an interesting twist, my mother recently moved to a retirement community and her next door neighbor happens to be one of the protesters sued by my physician. I haven't dared inform the neighbor of the odd connection. I know her as a wonderful woman who has a heart of gold, yet mom has held witness to this neighbor's piousness when she gets on her anti-abortion soapbox. She believes innocent children are being taken to slaughter by the millions and lets her opinion be known whenever possible.
In her mind, the protesters quietly pray for divine intervention. Yet, medical professionals have died at the hands of zealots justifying their actions in God's name with the belief that abortion is wrong. Instinct has us learn to avoid danger by avoiding those who could potentially cause harm. To stalk someone and then gaze in disbelief when accused of harassment and threatening behaviors is incredulous.
Regardless of individual beliefs, we can not begin to understand the decision that is made by each woman pursuing an abortion. To further compound the issue by interfering with a woman's right to quality medical care is barbaric. Most of all, doctors should not have to fear for their lives to provide those rights.

Vortex of violence

2009-06-14T00:17:00.004-04:00

Bob Sweeney: There was a moment... when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.
Derek Vinyard: Like what?
Bob Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better?

- from American History X

Today concludes a week filled with irony in actions that merged history with present day. An 88-year-old white supremacist (allegedly shot and) killed an African-American guard at the entrance of the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC two days before what would have been Anne Frank's 80th birthday. The play "Anne and Emmitt" - an imagined dialogue between Anne Frank and Emmitt Till - was to open at the museum the same evening of the shooting, but of course was postponed.
Whether coincidence or deliberately planned, FX network ran "American History X" several times this weekend. If you haven't seen the movie, find it, buy it, rent it - but be prepared to be shocked. Breaking all taboos, the movie lays racism, supremacy and hatred on the line and adds on heavy violence and language.
The message is strong - if only it could be required for all high school students. Then again, maybe it takes a certain level of intelligence to understand the movie's message - an intelligence that von Brunn lacks.
The main character's younger brother writes a paper, concluding with a quote from Abraham Lincoln:

Danny Vinyard: So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote.
He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. 'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'

A turning point in the film, Derek Vineyard (Edward Norton) symbolically sheds his negativity, with flashbacks of himself and his younger brother at the beach. The swastika remains, perhaps as a scar of his internal battle that led to his hatred.

Fire department focus of flaming

2009-06-06T11:45:00.006-04:00

An article in today's News & Record reports that the City of Greensboro's hiring practices may be discriminating against minorities seeking jobs with the fire and police departments. Judging by readers' commentary, I'd say a diverse population has come to a consensus: the article itself is lacking fair representation.
Casting a shadow over the ceremony for 19 graduates of the fire department's training program, the reporter spouts statistics proving the diversity of the department is not reflective of the city's population. While the writer focuses on race, she fails to note the lacking diversity of women and that more than 16 percent of the population is over the age of 60. Do we want older firefighters, too? The "right" people can not be forced to apply for specific jobs.
One possible reason given for the imbalance is the fact that minorities are not passing the entrance exams. Applicants are required to answer half the questions correctly. Only 50 percent, folks! Most schools consider a grade below 60 as failing. I doubt the city is issuing SATs but if tests go beyond the scope of job needs, then revision may be appropriate. However, keep in mind that mathematical reasoning coincides with critical thinking skills. Firefighting is not just spraying water on flames. Precise science and related aptitudes are required.
Greensboro's fire department maintains excellent Accreditation and ISO ratings because of their operational standards, which includes hiring policies. I, along with a majority of other article commentators, want the best of the best coming to the rescue when flames are lapping at our heels and consuming our homes.
When someone is willing to fight for lives and property; when he (or she) puts his body and mind through extensive training; when he takes an oath and graduates with a class of others who comparably excel - that firefighter deserves recognition that goes beyond any demographic label.

EditingMySpace.com -

Playing for Change

2009-05-09T14:25:00.007-04:00

Music. Sometimes the sounds are so powerful there are no words to describe them; the player's energy makes contact with the listener, ripping through to his very soul. Even the most hard-hearted can be moved to tears with no explanation. Playing for Change has managed to create a grassroots movement with musicians that have created this auditory strength, and I dare anyone to stand in its way.
Starting in Santa Monica, California, a street musician was recorded while playing "Stand by Me." The recording has literally gone around the world, and, at various stops, other musicians have added tracks.
The music alone is great, but when punctuated by the realization that these people have never met, are not famous, and simply displayed their talents on the street in an effort to create a single, harmonic tune to prove the world can work together in a way that is pleasing to everyone, the glass ceiling is shattered.
A number of songs have been created, and celebrities like Bono and Norman Lear are putting their efforts behind the movement, but the promotion is being fueled by social media. I'm adding a log to the fire and extending a torch. Visit the website, watch the video, and pass the flame.

State employees face wage cut

2009-05-02T13:32:00.010-04:00

I've been a bit discombobulated lately with trying to develop my personal marketing plan for potential job leads, teaching part-time at a community college, and resisting the urge to dive under my sheets and wish the world away. Still, I keep plugging away, fueled by the rewards of seeing students in my classes progress and grow in their quest for knowledge. It is in this endeavor where my current post has sprouted.

The issue
North Carolina Governor Beverly Perdue has taken drastic action to help restore the state's ailing budget. Making a profound and obviously difficult decision, Perdue is recalling 0.5 percent of state employees' annual salaries. Every person employed by the state is affected, including school teachers, college professors, staff, faculty, and employees with various state agencies. Considering this half-percent cut totals $65 million, it's a small sacrifice on the part of state employees, yet a drop in the bucket when one considers the state is facing a $3 billion deficit.

Individual sacrifice
Theoretically, someone earning $40,000 a year, (certainly not me)would have $200 deducted from their paycheck(s) between now and June 30. The logistics have not been finalized, but this could mean $100 out of each paycheck in May and June or a one-time deduction from either check. If I were fortunate enough to make $40K annually, I probably wouldn't notice the deduction. However, for many people living paycheck to paycheck, the cut is going to bleed. In my case, the cut is only a few dollars and going from broke to broker isn't much of a stretch!

Hoo-rah!
I like Perdue, and her solution is innovative. Not since World War II have citizens of this country been encouraged to share the burden for an altruistic cause. Americans used to do without nylons, sugar, and meat and felt they were contributing to the cause by doing so. The pay cut, just like war rations, is not voluntary, but, with the right PR, Perdue could actually raise the spirits of state employees who are sacrificing individually for the benefit of the whole. (Insert "Old North State" music here).

NC vs. Feds
On the other hand, there are some problems with the enforced recall.
The federal government has issued incentives and stimuli - literally free money - for improving the economy, yet the state feels it is necessary to revoke hard-earned salaries. (Ok, it's not free, but it's immediate cash flow vs. Perdue's revocation of cash). Some might even consider Perdue's actions seccessional: the proverbial state spittle shot towards the federal eye.

Contract? What contract?
Many, if not all, educators, have contracts that specify their salaries. My contract, signed by the college's representative, states how much money I am to be paid per hour and the specific amount I will be paid each month. In turn, I signed the contract in agreement. Is it legal for Perdue to break the legally binding contracts made in good faith between schools and employees? If it is legal, should all contracted workers be leary of signing future contracts? The state solicits bids on various jobs such as highway paving and building projects. Through contractual agreement, the business is guaranteed the money; the state is guaranteed the work. If the governor can step in at any time and break the contract, what recourse is available? I can't imagine a paving contractor conceding to a post-contractual reduction! In no way am I suggesting a class-action lawsuit - the state has enough troubles. Yet, Perdue is, in essence, stealing from her employees which is not a way to win their loyalty.

Lottery fund - Kah-Ching!
Somewhere among the state's budget line items, are lottery receipts. Against focused protests, but to the delight of the residential majority, the state lottery was passed just a few years ago. Net profits are designated to benefit North Carolina's educational system. Like the lottery, the state's food tax was initiated in the '60s by former Gov. Terry Sanford, in an effort to raise money for education. Unfortunately, the additional tax dollars were quickly absorbed by the general budget and the designation long forgotten. Have our lottery funds gone the way of the food tax? What happened to the millions intended for additional educational funds? Perhaps, instead of providing additional educational dollars, the lottery proceeds are merely replacing the original educational budget which now may be diverted to other budget lines. Has the educational system really seen an increase? Shouldn't the lottery help prevent already under-paid teachers from suffering Perdue's sweeping salary recall?

Money comes and goes so quickly!
In recent months I lost a job at a municipally-funded non-profit agency. We saw years where no pay raise was available to us, yet the city employees whined because they only received a four or five percent raise. The most recent pay raise for this particular agency was a one-half percent annual pay increase, which would be administered as a one-percent increase over six months. Perdue's cut doesn't affect this agency, but if it did, these employees would see their meager raises taken away.

Accountability
Drastic times call for drastic measures, and it is time for Americans to pull together in a call to action. The rich are suffering while the poor are gouged to the bone. Over the years, I have paid numerous visits to state and municipal agencies and have dealt with a multitude of employees. I can name very few employees that have shown exemplary customer service, much less acted as though they appreciated their jobs. I also know that I am not the only one to complain about poor teacher performance or bad service from state employees. Perhaps these are the ones that should have holes cut in their pockets, or better yet, let the public vote on the ones who get to keep their cushy state jobs! If a can were placed next to every state employee, and the public were able to put votes into those cans, state employees would actually be held accountable to the tax payers that provide their salaries, Perdue would be off the hook, and state residents would have cause to rally together!

Fodder for Ewe
Unfortuately there are no simple solutions. If there were, we wouldn't be in this mess. The bottom line is written in red. We all are suffering financial woes and the economy is in baaaaaad shape. Still, there is hope, and, one-by-one, the flock can jump the hurdles ahead. As we shear our wool and head to market, remember the give and take required for a circular economy. We caaaan't be afraaaaid to spend, we must never hoaaaard, yet we should always, always, keep our eye out for the wolves dressed like ewe!

Twitter help

2009-03-21T18:44:00.005-04:00

If I don't get my butt in gear, this blog will die from lack of attention! Still, lack of attention here doesn't mean I haven't been busy elsewhere. A new task seems to jumble everything around but once the dust settles, I can usually steer things in the right direction again.
One of my latest projects was to develop a new video. Twitter is rising fast in the social media stream but there are still a lot of people that haven't even heard of it. After seeing a number of questions from newbies, I decided to highlight how to get started. With a basic launch pad, folks can blast off with Twitter and tweet around the world. I'm planning to do more and am going to try to find new and different angles on the how-to of Twitterdom. Suggestions? Questions? Leave them in comments and I'll respond!

Paranormal activity

2009-03-03T21:06:00.003-05:00

Not only have I veered away from my normal routine, making my actions "para" normal, I have gotten involved with a new group delving into the "real" paranormal. (Is that an oxymoron?) As a couple of us work to stabilize a fledgling group, I find myself immersed in articles, information, blogs, and banter.

From the age of 3, I have experienced interactions with the paranormal, but until more recent years, I have kept my recounts low-key. People already thought I was weird, so I saw no need to fuel the fire. With the onslaught of a myriad of television programs addressing "the other side," paranormal discussions have become more mainstream.

The change in society's barometer has me pondering a couple of points. Television is given far too much power in our lives, shaping societal attitudes and opinions. Rather than people gathering information and really analyzing data for themselves, they accept everything on television as-is. In some rarer cases, there are those on the opposite side of the spectrum denouncing everything on television.

Another point that bugs me is how, suddenly, there are paranormal "experts" that general followers assume are skilled and credentialed. Efforts to standardize paranormal investigation are great but in a field where there are no proven statistics, I should think that the game is still developing rules.

Theatrics, editing, eerie music, and over-zealous networks with big investments have set the tone for ghost hunting. Grocery store rag sheets take photos of stars with unusual expressions and apply totally irrelevant cut lines; the same is possible with clever television editing. In some cases, the shows are staged. Imagine that!

Unfortunately all the drama created by media has created a sub-set of thrill-seekers rather than legitimate evidence-based investigators. The saying, "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup" is apropos to this situation. The inexperienced and unskilled are jumping into settings unprepared, stirring up activities that are best left alone. Ouija boards are bad - period. Yet there seems to be a resurgence in their use, and I even saw one in an advertisement about "finding the love of your life."

Looking for truth and evidence is honorable. Seeking cheap thrills by riding on the coattails of others - living or dead - is downright criminal.

If you want to learn more visit: www.myspace.com/greensboroparanormal or find us on twitter at http://twitter.com/GSOParanormal

A job worth doing

2009-02-22T16:51:00.006-05:00

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,

some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

~ Sam Ewing ~

Recently, I stopped at an unfamiliar gas station and filled up the tank. The station was at a busy intersection, had plenty of pumps, and a good flow of customers. Still, it looked dingy and depressed. An older woman was in the cashier's booth alone and she seemed pleasant enough. I wouldn't expect her to be out scrubbing pumps or sweeping after dark, but surely someone would care enough to clean up a little.

As I waited at the pump, I read the sign above my head. (I'm short so everything is above my head). The contrast between the signs' statements and the appearance of the station gave me cause to chuckle. I suppose someone found "a little better" way to put up the notice with duct tape.

No matter what your job is, someone will notice if you do good work and a LOT of people will notice if you don't.

The sign states:

Your visit,
a little better
From clean facilities and friendly service, to quality fuels – every
time you stop by, you can count on BP to make your day a little better.Thanks for filling up, and come back soon. For a little more fun, visit a little better gasstation.com

Just Peach-y

2009-02-21T22:43:00.005-05:00

South Carolina ranks second in the nation for peach production, with California coming in first and Georgia third. On Interstate 85, just south of the North Carolina-South Carolina border, Gaffney, SC created a water tower that pays homage to this wonderful fruit.

If memory serves correctly, Jerry Bledsoe, formerly of the Greensboro News and Record, wrote about this wonderful icon, noting it's similarity to an elephant's butt.

I recently ventured south and grabbed my camera as I approached the border. Since I was doing about 70 mph and didn't have time to pull off the road, I snapped off a few shots and hoped for the best. My first photo was the typical highway approach shot. As I neared, I was in for a surprise.

I had heard that this once desolate area had acquired some outlets and restaurants but I was quite shocked when I saw the stores. I suppose the famous elephant's butt has produced enough fertilizer to encourage growth. Someone was even clever enough to put a particular restaurant at the foot of the tower, giving a whole new meaning to the term "fat ass." Perhaps that should be "Fatz Azz"?

Housing Horror

2009-02-21T01:45:00.003-05:00

Television holds few shows that I will watch religiously but one of my top favorites is Bill Maher on HBO. He manages to get an eclectic mix of people on his panels and has various guests on representing both conservative and liberal views, though the show is primarily liberal. My primary reason for watching is that I am able to get tidbits of news that seems to be overlooked by mainstream media.

Tonight's panel included Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) who is serving her 10th term in office. Among the interesting insights into the current state of the economy and the bailouts, Waters commented that "Americans have no idea how bad things really are." If that wasn't depressing enough, Maher pointed out that the housing market in Detroit is the worst in the nation. The motor city represents more than just a segment of the U.S. population - it stands for American ingenuity, pride, commerce, and manufacturing. According to Maher, the average home in Motown is going for $16,000 and the city is a "Ghost Town."

I was in such disbelief, assumed he was exaggerating, and I did some research of my own. A year ago, eFinance was already talking about the "Housing Market Nighmare" in Detroit. In June '08 the average Detroit home was going for $20,000 and by December, the average was down to $18,500. Now, according to the Chicago Tribune, the average rate is $7,500 - much lower than Maher's dismal report.

In August, a woman bought a Detroit home as an investment property and paid only $1.00 . That's ONE dollar! I suppose, if she had held out a bit longer, she could have gotten it for half that price!

The only thing I find spookier than a ghost town is the frightening state of the economy. The economy is baaaaad but we can't go getting our woolen undies in a twist. We can't panic, we can't quit spending and we certainly can't run from the problem. Instead, we need to be educated about trends, be aware of the issues and make sensible decisions for a stronger future.

Power of the Blog

2009-02-14T12:26:00.002-05:00

Exactly two weeks ago, I posted "Public and accessible" which described the antics of trying to access a public building in my hometown. As I thought about the problem, I knew I should do more than just bemoan the issue here. I wrote an email, included the post's link and sent it to the county commissioners, the county manager and the county attorney.
I am pleased to report that two of the commissioners responded, promising to look into the issue. Interim County Manager Brenda Fox responded with a letter, (hard copy, signed and sent through the USPS!) dated February 10. I'd like to share this with you because I always give fair consideration to all sides of an issue.

Dear Ms. Carter:
This correspondence is in regard to your February 1, 2009 e-mail to myself and the Board of County Commissioners concerning access issues at the Guilford County Courthouse in Greensboro.
The Courthouse is in the midst of a large renovation that has created some inconvenience to our customers. Many different areas have been modified and/or blocked off for some period of time. As a part of this renovation, the Lower Ground (LG) entrance on Eugene Street has been closed to the general public but remains open for use as handicap entrance in compliance with A.D.A. regulations.
After receiving your e-mail, I check and discovered that, indeed, there was tape across the door and a sign indication (sic) no entry. This signage has been removed and proper signage will be put on the entrance door immediately.
As a part of the renovation project, we will be creating and installing a new sign package for the entire building which will correct all old signage and better reflect the changes we have made to the building. The new signs should correct the old signs and make navigating the Courthouse easier than before.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your correspondence and your interest in Guilford County. I sincerely regret your trouble and any inconvenience you experienced on your trip to the Courthouse. With your input and the new signage package, we hope to make your next trip a little easier.
Sincerely,
Brenda Fox

I must admit, it is nice to find a positive and simple solution in a day where bureaucracy tends to get in the way!
Good job Guilford County!

Stewards of the Land

2009-02-11T22:01:00.005-05:00

The now infamous photo of a fireman giving water to a koala that survived Australia's wildfire has been seared into my mind. I feel sad for the many human victims of the disaster down under but nothing compares to the anguish I feel for the lost terrain and wildlife.

People have greater chances of survival in such situations. I don't know all the details of this particular travesty, but generally humans have the opportunity to get out of harm's way. Wildfires are a little trickier than some events because they have been known to jump, winds can be less predictable, and people near the initial outbreak are more prone to be caught by surprise. Those that choose to wait until the last possible minute to get out are just asking for trouble and I honestly don't have much patience with them.

Tornadoes, lightning strikes, tsunamis, earthquakes and other sudden events do evoke more sympathetic responses from me so I am not totally brash.

Still, I get the impression that people don't really think about the consequences of disasters as they relate to animals and the environment. While approximately 200 people have perished in Australia, more than 1 million animals have been sacrificed not to mention the charred terrain encompassing an area twice the size of London. What seems to be the act of an arson has completely disrupted the balance of nature on the other side of the world. Trees and plants provide oxygen, the food chain leading up to human needs has been interrupted. In the case of the Koala, eucalyptus forests were destroyed and will limit their grazing territory.

Humans are stewards of the land and animals yet we destroy rain forests and wildlife with the belief there is "plenty to spare." New species have been discovered in South American jungles in the last year. We have no idea what unknown creatures were destroyed in Australia. Animals (including humans) and plant life interact to maintain balance in nature. When there is a major jolt to the system, the balance will fail.

We may not see change right away, but the effects will be felt thanks to a pyromaniac. When watching the news, look beyond the human travesty and take in the whole picture before "ewe" think it only affects another herd.

Public and accessible?

2009-01-31T14:00:00.009-05:00

My frustrations with governmental bureaucracy have escalated since recent visits to the Guilford County Courthouse. I can empathize with the paper trails and the fact that these folks have to deal with the "general" public so my complaints are not typical. My disgust is focused on the maze of navigating entry. The architect designing this place should be shot and the idiots that approved the plan should be sentenced to navigating the facility daily sans use of "employee only" doorways.

Herein is my saga. According to county ordinances, my mother needed to file my father's will within one year of his death. He passed away in November and she wants to get these types of needling tasks out of the way. Everything they owned is either in her name or jointly titled. She is the sole heir and executrix - very tidy and uncomplicated.

Mom has COPD and has a handicapped parking identification tag. She drives as little as possible and I have been taking her on these more complicated excursions. The day we went happened to be the coldest for our area this year (around 19 degrees by mid-day). I concede that it was a poor choice of days in relation to her health but I can't help the weather didn't cooperate with my schedule.

The Estates office is in the Guilford County Courthouse which shares a courtyard with the Greensboro Municipal building. I've bounced around in both buildings and can get around fairly well. This was my first trip trying to navigate with a physically challenged person since 9/11 and Homeland Security.

We parked in a "wheelie" spot in the shared parking lot and walked to an entrance about 50 feet away marked "Handicapped." This entrance went into the municipal building but I knew we could go through the building, up an elevator and easily cut across the courtyard.I pushed a speaker button to gain access to the building. The woman asked where we were going. I responded and she said, "I'm sorry but I can't let you in this door. You have to go over to the courthouse entrance." I quickly explained mom needed to get out of the cold ASAP and the courthouse entrance was up a huge flight of stairs. The unidentified voice apologized, refused our entrance and said we could enter the courthouse on the street level through their handicapped entrance.

We turned around and walked across the parking lot, the entire length of the county building (about a half a block), turned the corner and walked another 50 feet to a wheelchair ramp. At the bottom of the ramp were two sets of darkly tinted doors. One set had signs "NO ENTRANCE" and the other set were marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY." The employee entrance was unlocked so I went in prepared to spout ADA regulations if we were refused access. Inside the lobby, a glass wall separated the two sets of doors. The security guard on the "no entrance" side started yelling and came around to our side. She was mean, ugly and yelling: "You can't come in this way. You have to use the main entrance" I retorted, "We're not leaving - she's disabled and we can't navigate the steps. Where's the handicapped entrance?" Ms. "Beulah Balbricker" instructed us to come into the "no entrance" side which is the handicapped entrance. On that side, they had the security scanners and walk-through. I said, "We didn't know we could come in here because it says 'no entrance.'" Beulah said they don't mark it as handicapped because if they did, everyone would suddenly become handicapped. I didn't say anything - I COULDN'T say anything - my jaw was hanging open. I think God had a hand in it, too because if I had been able to speak, the words that would have come forth would have caused my certain arrest. Mom needed a ride home so I stayed out of jail.

We passed one set of non-public elevators located next to the handicapped-marked-no-entrance-entrance and walked through a labyrinth of hallways to get to the public elevators which are adjacent to the courtyard entrance on the far side of the building. Then we walked back through the halls to get to the Estates office, which is located directly above the handicapped-marked-no-entrance-entrance.

Thankfully, the folks in the Estate office are very kind, helpful and maintain the atmosphere of a funeral home - very unlike the scallywags wandering the halls around courtrooms and paying fines at the clerk of court's office.

We worked our way back downstairs and I told mom to wait by the door. I dashed out to the lot to retrieve the car. Looking at my watch, the meter was going to run out any minute. Looking across the lot, the officer was already writing a ticket. I approached and started a futile argument. 1) We're in a handicapped spot so getting back on the dot might not be possible, especially with the maze that takes longer to navigate; 2) the meter JUST ran out; 3) accessibility is pathetic meaning they take advantaged of disabled folks by charging more for parking or issuing tickets knowing it will take them longer to get into and out of the building.

The meter maid (or meter male in this case) apologized because 1) he didn't know when the meter ran out since he was just coming back from lunch 2) once he starts issuing a ticket, he can't stop.

Again, I mumbled under my breath to avoid arrest.

We filed the will but there is debate over what type of letter we need for one insurance company. One document will cost around $60 the other only $30. I went back on my own (using the stairs which were unkind to my asthma) but there is still debate, so after clarifying between my mom and the insurance company, I will trek up there for a third trip.

I treasure the fact that I can be of help to my mom. I do not mind the files, documents and other red tape. I'll empty my purse, show that my camera is really a working photographic device, demonstrate that my penlight has dead batteries, walk through scanners and let the guard "do me with his magic wand." What I do mind is the hodgepodge of locked doors, barriers, yellow tape, and obstacle courses established for taxpayers to gain entry into a "PUBLIC" building.

Below - the view is of the courthouse steps. The county building's handicapped entrance is hidden and unmarked behind these stairs. Currently, the entrance of the courthouse is sloppily cordoned off with yellow tape and everyone must go to the opposite side of the building.

View Larger Map

Below, the view of the parking lot shows the city's handicapped entrance (straight ahead) with the handicapped parking just to the right. If you navigate the view a bit, and look behind the tree on the left,you can see the steps that unchallenged pedestrians are supposed to climb in order to access the county building.

View Larger Map

Twitter tweets

2009-01-25T18:43:00.004-05:00

A recent blog regarding Twitter protocol stimulated my small literary repertoire. To re-tweet or not to re-tweet was the question. 'Tis nobler to recognize the author than to forsake the attribute, in my most humble of opinions. Some believe the full statement should be re-posted and others believe the mere mention of said Tweet should satiate the appetite of those that ache to dine on others' crumbs. Though I believe it is wise to not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for I am crunchy and good with ketchup, the stir over retweets can be likened to a tempest in a teapot. As a gesture of homage, I dedicate the following parody to Twitter.

"ReTweet"

by Iris Carter

based on
Say over again... (Sonnet 21)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Say over again, and yet once over again,
That Tweet thou dost love. Though the words repeated
Should seem "a cuckoo-song," as thou dost tweet it,
Remember, never to the Mac or PC,
iPhone or SMS, without her cuckoo-strain
Comes Twitter in all her text completed.
Followers, I, amid the tweets greeted
By a doubtful spirit-voice, in that doubt’s pain
Cry, "Speak once more—thou Tweet!" Who can fear
Too many posts, though each in sequence shall scroll,
Too many following, though each shall read and cheer?
Say thou dost Tweet, Tweet, Tweet—toll
The silver iterance!—only minding, Dear,
To Re-Tweet me also with honorable intent and toil.

Original:

Say over again... (Sonnet 21)

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Say over again, and yet once over again,
That thou dost love me. Though the word repeated
Should seem "a cuckoo-song," as thou dost treat it,
Remember, never to the hill or plain,
Valley and wood, without her cuckoo-strain
Comes the fresh Spring in all her green completed.
Belovèd, I, amid the darkness greeted
By a doubtful spirit-voice, in that doubt’s pain
Cry, "Speak once more—thou lovest!" Who can fear
Too many stars, though each in heaven shall roll,
Too many flowers, though each shall crown the year?
Say thou dost love me, love me, love me—toll
The silver iterance!—only minding, Dear,
To love me also in silence with thy soul.

Grammar Slammer

2009-01-19T10:57:00.002-05:00

I've always been a stickler for grammar. The English language is a treasure for me and I love to manipulate words and sentences. I now have a new part-time job teaching composition at a local community college. In fact, getting organized with a new schedule has put me behind on my blogging but I think I am getting back on track, now!
Editing one's own writing is difficult because we often see what we intended to write, not what is actually on the page. I'm sure there are errors in my blogs as well as other works but I do try to proofread as much as possible.
In my first classes last week, we discussed the important of writing well. I contended that if everyone could write, I wouldn't have a career - both as a teacher and as an editor. When I questioned the class about reading something that is written poorly, they stated that it reflects on the writer. The person is perceived as less intelligent and non-credible.
A friend emailed a link to me for a blog that focuses on blog tips. My immediate reaction was, "great concept!" Unfortunately, the writing is full of errors with changing tenses and mismatched subject/verbs. I hope someone will pass along a tip to this poor soul that obviously had good intentions. Maybe I will go back myself and offer some friendly advice. In the meantime, heed my warning here lamb chops: Baaaad writing = baaaaad reputation!

Twitter Litter

2009-01-08T23:18:00.004-05:00

Twitter Litter
noun
1. Scattered rubbish posted by tweeters on Twitter
2. A condition of disorder on Twitter caused by useless tweets
3. Propaganda spread on Twitter by egocentric tweeters

I follow a variety of people on Twitter. Some folks follow me in return, some don't. Some have thousands of followers, some have only a few. Some tweet often, others go days without tweets. I often find great links to much needed information or enjoy a friendly "hello" from someone I've met online.

As I perused tweets one evening, I came across a comment by someone ranking high in their number of followers. It seems they had gotten some unkind remarks from another tweeter and were goading more reaction. I followed links to responses and figured out the tiff between egos. Admittedly, I got voyeuristic pleasure from watching the public lobs yet I also realized I was following someone merely because they are a noted guru of social media. This person has not provided any useful information for me yet I follow because others continually comment on his popularity and knowledge.

Why are we compelled to follow the herd instead of our instincts? I suppose I fear missing some great epiphany from this almighty and powerful tweeter however if he did happen to drop a morsel worthy of nibbling, I'd miss it because I don't do anything to track his tweets. Maybe I follow, assuming that thousands of others must have a valid reason that I am overlooking.

Whether it's Twitter or other networking sites, we should consider our own needs and not those of popular opinion. If someone is leaving an abundance of Twitter litter on your page, toss them in the trash and avoid the litter bugs. Follow someone that is going to lead you in a positive direction.

Gah-gah over Gaza

2009-01-03T22:30:00.001-05:00

The news of the latest middle east bombings has me mounting my soap box like so many others, yet I hesitate because the whole mess is so confusing. Everyone wants to claim a piece of that area of the world and so much transition has occurred over thousands of years that it is difficult to discern where the lines should be drawn. Take ancient history, mix in geography with a hefty helping of foreign language and most Americans will cross their eyes and run the other way. The subject is one that most people recognize but lump all the victims and criminals into one recycling bin. When the topic resurfaces the reaction is, "Oh, it's you again."

Why should Americans care about what happens over there? How does it affect us? Let "them" figure it out, right? Wrong! Some "experts" will probably cringe at my descriptions here, but I'm hoping to fly under the radar and share on a level that has been overlooked.

We hear reference to the West Bank, Palestine, Israel, Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Gaza, the Gaza Strip and other areas. Look at the map for a moment. Zoom in, zoom out, see where you are, see where "they" are. Keep in mind, the colorization I did is not perfect, but close enough to give you a general idea of the land mass for each area.

View Larger Map

The West Bank (in blue) and the Gaza Strip (in red) have changed hands over the years with rulers swapping hands like chess game players on crack. From 1965-2007 Israel controlled the Gaza Strip but backed off returning the government to a Palestinian leadership. Israel may have withdrawn from the strip BUT they control the borders and airspace. If they get PO'ed (or in this case PLO'ed) they can put the squeeze on supplies going into the strip. As for the West Bank, it's never been a state. The United Nations considers the West Bank and Gaza Strip "Israeli-occupied." Israel will not recognize the territories as independent until it can reach an agreement with the Palestinians.

To scramble the borders even further, there are people that say, "I was born in "XYZ" city and that is my home!" Others say their ancestors were from "ABC" town and they should be able to settle there. Then there are the ones that are living in the territories determined by the governments with which they are aligned. Israeli communities are popping up in areas of the West Bank where residents literally "take over" an area that was primarily Palestinian. Both believe they have rights to be there and they don't live in peace. Mix these folks up and there is conflict within the borders as well as tug-of-war on the borders.

Imagine New York City being invaded by Canadians. (no, seriously) Folks are milling about and suddenly the Canadian Mounties are roaming the streets claiming military power. Canadian builders take over Central Park and build massive home sites for their citizens. Then, as New Yorkers get frustrated and leave like refugees (generally heading south to my home state or to Florida) Canadians begin taking over entire buildings. The New York merchants are still trying to maintain their ground but the Canadians start looking out from their windows above, throwing trash and rocks onto the streets below. Okay, it's far-fetched on the local level (I hope) but maybe it brings the ideas closer to home? A friend recently visited the West Bank and returned with photos of these instances happening in the West Bank.

Back to the Middle East - let's not forget that the Palestinians have TWO sects vying for control. In 2006 there was a legitimate election of a legislative governing body for ruling Palestine's West Bank AND Gaza Strip called the Palestinian National Authority. "Fatah" controls the West Bank and their military rival "Hamas" has taken control of the strip. The president of the Palestinian National Authority fired his Prime Minister in the strip (who was supporting Hamas) and put a new guy in charge of rebuilding that government. The first Prime Minister thumbed his nose at the president and said (of course paraphrased) "We're not budging, in fact, we have control of all Palestinian territories and WE are the Palestinian National Authority." Hamas has been called a terrorist regime and there are reports of brutality against anyone opposed to the Hamas rule within the Gaza Strip.

Hamas and Fatah have been fighting with occasional missile fire between the two. Israel is smack in the middle and has been needling Hamas with border invasions and restricting incoming supplies. Hamas is irritated and is firing on Israel.
Now consider the fact that Gaza is the largest city in the Gaza Strip with a population close to a half-million and 1.4 million live in the metropolitan area. Israel's capital is Jerusalem with a population of around 750,000 but the population of the entire country is about 7.2 million. With a larger land mass and more cities, Israel's people are spread out more than Gaza's. When a bomb hits Gaza, more people will get hurt than when one flies into Israel, which would account for the 460 dead and 2,700 injured Palestinians with only four dead in Israel.

For me, a factor in the equation is President G.W. Bush's backing of Israel's actions. Regardless of who started needling who, where the lines in the sand are drawn and what religion anyone is, if Bush says he is "for" something, then the whole idea is probably wrong. He also managed to put his foot in his mouth once again (has it EVER been removed?) saying, "By spending its resources on rocket launchers instead of roads and schools, Hamas has demonstrated that it has no intention of serving the Palestinian people." This statement could just as easily be read with the U.S. in mind ... "By spending resources on rocket launchers instead of roads and schools, Bush has demonstrated that he never had the intention of serving the United States people."

We're seeing protesters and demonstrators, those for Israel and against Israel, for Palestine and against Palestine, Hamas and Fatah and many bloggers are backing up different perspectives. Compelled to follow the intended nature of my blog, I am not saying which way the lambs should go, but before you pick a side you should be well-informed. I merely hit on the proverbial tip of the mammoth iceberg (which is shrinking due to global warming - but that's another blog).

I will, however, insert my personal opinion that in this conflict there is no "right" side other than human rights. People who are suppressed, subjected to military control, and unable to get basic supplies are being denied their simple right to "be."

Welcoming the new year

2008-12-31T23:16:00.002-05:00

During my life, each year has entered in new fashion. As a young child, I remember my parents going out for the evening with friends. As a teen, I babysat for neighborhood kids while their parents went out (often with my own parents!). I have been to a few New Year's Eve parties but most of my years were spent safe and sound by the television.
I've been wide awake and snoozing, sick, well, and tipsy. I've spent it alone more times than I care to mention and spent it with someone special.
As I reflect on years past, I recall the various celebrities that have rung in the year.
Not being a television historian, I can't be certain who the first was, but I do know for many years, Guy Lombardo was the leader of the band (pun intended).

Dick Clark soon took to the streets of New York counting down with the rest of the nation. I have to wonder if youth of today realize what an icon Clark is and how much he influenced music and television from radio to "American Bandstand" to game shows. He created the American Music Awards and was a murderer on the last "Perry Mason."

Since then, the tube has exploded with everyone counting down one way or another, yet none of the faces have held out as long as the two icons above, together covering nearly a century of new years. As we look to the future, don't forget the past!
Cheers and good wishes for a prosperous 2009!

Sharing good deeds

2008-12-25T23:39:00.003-05:00

Often my commentary here makes a point about how people follow blindly and fail to think or do things for themselves. I also get aggrevated with people who, in my opinion, behave inappropriately. I wanted to share a couple of anecdotes from this week as testimony that I am not always snipping at people and to lead by example. In no way am I trying to break my arm by patting myself on the back nor am I seeking kudos of any sort. I honestly hope that by sharing, I can create a "Pay it Forward" kind of atmosphere.
Two young girls left an interesting message on my voicemail the other night. I would estimate their ages to be around 10 or 12 and they were trying to create a three-way conference call with a friend. One of them did most of the talking and explained, "We are sorry but we got the wrong number. We were trying to reach our friend and must have dialed wrong." She was very clear, to the point and asked me to excuse the call. Impressed by her politeness and demeanor, I checked caller ID and returned the call. The little girl answered, but I asked for the woman's name that showed on the ID. When the girl hesitated, seemingly confused, I explained that I had the name on my caller ID. The girl immediately apologized again and started explaining. I stopped her. "No sweetheart, I am not at all upset. I wanted to call your mom or whoever and her know she should be proud of you - you were so polite and did such a wonderful job with your message. I thought she should know and YOU should know that you did a good job."
The young lady seemed genuinely touched and thanked me profusely. I wished her well and hung up. It took two minutes of my time and hopefully gave her some positive reinforcement.
On Christmas Eve, I was in a store parking lot talking to my mother. A woman approached with her young daughter, I'd estimate to be six years old. They had walked from the opposite side of the parking lot and as they neared the woman said, "Excuse me, but my daughter wanted to know if she could see your reindeer." Knowing she was referring to the bobble heads on my headband, I laughed and said "Of course!" I began conversing directly with the young girl. "Do you want me to take them off?"
"Yes, please!" she said. Her eyes were dancing and I was enamored with her. I let her hold the headband and she carefully wiggled the heads back and forth. She asked where I got them and chatted a bit before handing them back. The four of us continued to talk a few more minutes and the mother prompted the girl to tell us her name is "Sierra." As they said their goodbyes and thanked me for my time, I felt compelled to do more.
"Sierra, I have had such great fun with these the past couple of days - watching people smile and compliment my reindeer. Would you like to take them and have fun with them now?"
Sierra's eyes widened and she immediately said, "YES!"
I placed them on her head and she thanked me. I told her she was welcome to them - just spread the cheer. As Sierra and her mom walked back across the lot, they talked. I could detect an extra lilt in the girl's step and saw her gently touch the top of the band, securing it in place.
Interactions like this hold a much deeper meaning than the ones where we have to confront someone about a wrong-doing. Telling someone hello, thank you or extending a helping hand takes only a moment but the warmth lasts much longer. I can be having a bad day, but recognizing the good in someone else immediately helps me feel better.
So please remember lamb chops, I share these stories in hopes of sparking a flame for you to continue passing along the warmth of humanity.

Christmas and Christianity

2008-12-24T14:06:00.004-05:00

I need to get busy with a couple of last minute holiday preparations but find myself thinking about several people at the moment that have guided my behaviors and beliefs. What better time to share such contemplations than on Christmas Eve?
Many years ago, I worked in a large office building, analyzing health insurance claims. A young co-worker maintained an altar at her desk with various items such as a Christian calendar, her Bible, reference books and scripture dust-catchers. She read during her lunch break and I had to give credit to someone that was a wild-child-turned-holy-saint. One day she perched on my desk top as I worked.
"Iris, can I ask you a personal question?"
"Sure." I stopped and leaned back in my chair.
"Iris, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?" Her face showed lines of deep concern.
"Well ... yeah Melanie, I have."
"When?"
"Gee, ummm, well ..." I thought about my affirmation in the Methodist church, then switching back to Presbyterian when I married. Was it then? Or when I started devouring Shirley MacLaine books? "Honestly, Melanie, there's no exact time or day that I came to that revelation - it's been a process of learning for me. Jesus has always been a part of my life."
Melanie leaned closer. "I love you Iris and I worry about you. I want to know that you will join me in Heaven."
She pointed to the cubicle across from me and shook her head, saying "Just look at Paula over there"
"WHOA!" I responded. Melanie straightened up. "Just because Paula is Jewish, doesn't mean she is not going to heaven" I protested. "Paula is a dear friend, someone I can depend on and exhibits more 'Christian' behavior than most self-proclaimed prophets I know!"
Melanie looked like she was staring into the face of Satan as I continued. "Paula will do anything for anyone, is kind, considerate, volunteers her time and her heart to many causes and respects Christians expecting nothing but respect in return. God has a special place in heaven for her and if he doesn't, he's not a God I want to follow."
Melanie blinked a few times, took a deep breath and said, "Oh. Well, okay, I just wanted to be sure you are headed for salvation." She hopped down and scooted around to her corner.
My heart was pounding and I sat back for a minute, taking in the warmth of the sun streaming into the window, thanking God for a beautiful view of the city. When Paula returned from lunch, I gave her an extra smile.
I was reminded of this episode when I happened to meet a woman from the West Indies last week. An odd set of circumstances drew us together for only five minutes and to describe the series of events that brought us to the train depot at the same moment would take two more posts, but the discussion we had naturally and comfortably led to religious beliefs.
She said that many people assume her national origin and spiritual beliefs are those of witchcraft and voodoo but she said it is as natural to her as the rituals of other beliefs and countries. I nodded in understanding. She went on to say that she does not consider herself "Christian" but instead prefers the term "Christ-like." To be a "Christian" is to be everything Christ was and is, she explained.
"No one is that perfect," she said. Instead, she feels she is constantly learning and striving to become a Christian which will happen only in death. In the meantime, she is in training.
Interrupted by her boarding call, I shared my appreciation for the conversation and the new perspective on my own belief system.
"I believe God brings people together for a reason whether it is for a lifetime or a fleeting moment," I said. "Today I am thankful our paths were crossed." She smiled and said, "I agree."
I can't remember her name but I will always remember her face, her smile and her impact.
As we come together with family and friends in the upcoming hours, remember that regardless of religion, or belief-system, this holiday is about giving. You don't have to be "Christian" to be Christ-like and you don't have to be religious to appreciate the gift of humanity.
Blessed be.

Get off my ass

2008-12-17T20:00:00.007-05:00

Yes - I said it and not politely. What IS it with people that tailgate? I am not a bad driver. I try to keep reasonably close to the speed limit and hope I don't get a ticket. I stay off the tail of the person in front of me, too. Yet there is always the driver that HAS to go faster than everyone else. They have the obsession of being first and can think of no one else but themselves.

Sure, it's old news but today was an exception. I had my car worked on over the last week which was unnerving enough as I was without transportation for about 5 days. When I hit the gas, it would go but had started jolting or acting like it wasn't getting gas. The mechanic, who I have dealt with for 10 years, said it was probably the air intake thingy (he said it better than I can) and would be about $500 bucks for the part. Once he got into the engine, he said he felt it was just the hoses leading to the filter - much cheaper and easier to repair. There was a delay with the parts but I picked up the car yesterday afternoon and my wallet was thankful that it only cost $200 and some change. Most of the fee was for parts.

Today I headed out to do errands and had to pick up my teenage son at a friend's house. I live in the boonies and the friend lives in another area of the county's boonies. I got on the two-lane highway and was driving 45 in a 50 mph zone because it was pitch black, drizzling rain and I was looking for my turn.

The car started to protest. It was not happy with the two C-notes I just paid. Noooooo! It wanted MORE. It screamed "FEED ME SEYMOUR!" and jerked me around. I hit the pedal to the floor and there was no response. Suddenly, the gas would kick in and my head would fly back like I was hitting G-force. I couldn't find my turn. Dammit. I tried calling the friend's cell phone since my son broke his. (That's another rant for another time). No answer.

I called my daughter. "Where in the hell is the turn?"

"What's YOUR problem? Don't get pissy with me!" She was right. I apologized and took a deep breath. I explained that I had been approximately 5 miles up the road and back and knew his street was around the area, but couldn't find it. Between the dark, the rain, and the car I was at my limit. She gave me a couple of landmarks and I turned around on a side street to search again.

Of course, every time I stopped and changed gears to do a three-point-turn, the car would choke.

Put in neutral, turn the key, put in gear. The car died. Neutral. Ignition. Gas. Gear. Death. AGAIN. I prayed I could hit the gas hard enough to back up without ending up in the ditch or getting hit in the side by an oncoming car. Finally on the main road, I started rolling along at a good clip and thought I'd be alright. BIG mistake. The car is telepathic. EVERY car is telepathic. Without a sound from the engine, I lost speed. I laid the pedal down again but the speedometer continued dropping. I couldn't find the hazard lights. I never use them so why would I know where they are? Did I say it was dark? It was DARK.

Of course, the obnoxious driver behind me in a truck that should be banned for abusing natural resources was riding my ass. If someone is going to get that close to me it should either be 1) an enjoyable and erotic experience or 2) an effort to help me maneuver out of the way. Perhaps he flashed his lights in an effort to light up the inside of my car so I could find the hazard light switch? It didn't work. Instead I was blind. The street I needed was just ahead so I signaled and started turning. Of course, the gas was useless and I didn't move fast enough to suit this guy. He laid on the horn letting me know that someone else on the road was actually more frustrated than I!

There is no consideration and it's not like these problems are new.

My Great-Aunt Violet was quite eccentric, set in her ways but she got around. My mom once met an oncoming car on the road that was being driven by a hat. As she strained to see if a person was under the hat, she realized it was Aunt Violet, her eyes focused in the space between the dashboard and the steering wheel. Around the same time, in the early '70s my sister and I rode with Aunt Violet on a Sunday afternoon in the summer. The main highway hosting beach traffic was a two-lane road near our home. On Sunday afternoons, the northbound lane stayed bumper to bumper. Aunt Violet joined the traffic and assumed the position, letting her hat sit even with the top of the steering wheel. Her car puttered along at what would have been cruising speed in the 1930s. I looked out the back window and said, "Gee Aunt Violet, there sure are a lot of cars behind us."

"Good!" she said. "At least they aren't speeding." She had a commanding presence and there was no arguing with her.

This attitude seems to permiate this side of the family. Her brother was around 6' 3" and a solid, well-built man. He had been a boxer in his day and part of his rugged looks came from having his nose broken several times. He looked intimidating but was a sweet, sweet man. What else would one expect from a man that owned a chihuahua? He had his own well-drilling company and drove a huge truck. One day, at a stop sign, the truck stalled. He was trying to restart it and someone in a compact car behind him started blowing the horn. Uncle Dale slowly got out of the truck and strolled back to the car. The person's window was open, so my uncle put his hands on the roof and stooped down to eye-level with the other driver.

"I tell you what," Uncle Dale said in his slow southern drawl. "You go up and start my truck and I'll sit back here and toot your little horn."

The person sputtered and stammered. Uncle Dale nodded and went back to his truck.

I guess it is days like today that I need to remember the resolute nature of my family, draw on that strength and ignore stupid drivers. After all, assholes tend to adhere to someone's butt.

Scrooged by library rules

2008-12-11T23:44:00.009-05:00

We've all had experiences where a simple transaction is blocked because of a rule. Thanks to some idiot that abused a privledge, the rule was established and we now have to jump through hoops. I understand why rules are set and generally try to conform rather than ask for an exception. Once in a blue moon, exceptions can be justified and should be made. Karen "DeafMom" Putz had just such a circumstance in her local Illinois public library.

Her daughter, also deaf, was to attend a production of "The Christmas Carol" with her class. A series of events left her without an interpreter and a suitable option was to obtain the captioned video. The Putz ladies headed for the nearest library, though not the one that receives the family's tax dollars. A reciprocal agreement allows for the loan of non-fiction videos. Fictional videos require a $100 annual fee plus $1 per loan.

Karen explained the entire situation and the librarian confirmed the captioned video was not available at their hometown library. The only option given to Karen was to pay the annual fee.

As a child I had a physical disability and used crutches for several years. I did not want preferential treatment, have never sought pity nor coddled anyone because of their differences or challenges. As an adult, I have worked with people facing physical challenges and my opinion has not changed.

I do believe in reasonable accomodation, but this instance was even beyond accomodating someone with a disability. The child had a school project. The mom had reciprocal rights to check out most materials from that library. Her contact information is on record. Her home library, as a reciprocal lender, confirmed they did not have the video. An exception in this case would not have caused a proverbial flood of patrons to request exceptions since this was a circumstance where the material was not otherwise available.

She wasn't asking to take out reference material - just a classic fiction DVD. Surely it would be better to extend goodwill and customer service than to have the Naperville, IL Library publicly humiliated.

Keep up with your kids!

2008-12-10T22:58:00.005-05:00

A mother leaves her two-year-old daughter alone in a car that is double-parked with the engine running. Mom is inside a home chit-chatting while a tow truck leaves with the car. Why are the two men, doing their job, being charged with felony child endangerment? What is more dangerous than leaving a child in an unattended car? Not only did mom leave the child alone, she wasn't watching the car at all, or else she would have seen the men around it.

Until my children were old enough to unfasten their own seatbelts and handle a door lock, I never left them alone in the car. Too many stories circulated about moms leaving the engine running to run in and pay for gas, returning to find their car stolen with the child still inside. Granted, anyone taking my kids would probably have done a u-turn, brought them back and offered apologies and sympathy.

Children are a responsibility. They have to be nurtured, cared for and taught how to behave. Which brings me to another point - once your kids are walking on their own, teach them to keep their hands to themselves and to respect other people's property. Riding and playing on toys they won't purchase is annoying and tantamount to stealing. Would you buy a toy for your child if another kid abused the package or wore out the batteries?

Running around, jumping on store furniture, hiding in clothing racks, and leaving Spiderman in the dairy section is annoying. I wouldn't come to your house and put your toilet paper in the refrigerator.

So please, control your children, teach them some manners and above all - keep up with them!

Human interaction

2008-11-30T16:07:00.005-05:00

My mother is always consoling herself by saying things like, "Well, it could be worse ..." or "Other people have problems, too." In response, I share a lesson I learned a long time ago: "Don't minimize your problems - we each have our own reality to deal with." Kudos to a very wise therapist as this has stuck with me and, combined with the bits and pieces I've assembled to form my own conclusions about religious issues, I've managed to survive in spite of great odds.

I try not to wallow in personal quagmires and avoid being over-confident because karma has a way of kicking my ass hard when I stray too far from center ground. Perhaps my spirituality is so well-grounded because there is no possible explanation for the cosmic messages I receive on a regular and direct basis.

Some folks ask "why" things happen or assume they are a magnet for bad luck. When someone rich and famous gives sincere thanks, I smile and believe they are blessed for a reason. (I should add here, the ever popular Oscar reward response of "I'd like to thank God and my parents" is worn out and has lost meaning from over-use.) Yet, one person's blessings doesn't mean another is chosen for strife. Of course, being thankful doesn't mean you'll be showered continually with abundance. Everything happens for a reason and while we may not always understand those reasons, recognizing that living is better as a verb than a noun, better as a means than a goal, we give ourselves permission to learn along the way.

When we are buried up to our eyeballs in our own thoughts, work, emotions (insert "personal crap" here) we are blind to how we connect with others. By taking a deep breath, owning our issues and looking to those around us, we find more commonality.

People come and go in our lives for a reason. If we recognize their value, we grow. Sometimes they are around a long time and sometimes they are in a fleeting moment. I've found much relief in losing some of the ones that cause me the most distress and if I don't learn from them, they come back to haunt me in another body. I'm sure many can identify with having the same type-cast boss in different jobs! As much as I know they are there to help me learn some sort of lesson, I find some consolation in the fact that perhaps I can teach them something along the way, too. The entire process is not just how others can help me, but how can I help them, too.

By now, you may be thinking, "Iris, what's your point?"

If you don't relate to what I'm saying, you may not be ready for the point.

And that's okay - ask questions or just come baaaaack another day!

Black Friday Fatality

2008-11-28T17:52:00.004-05:00

I literally grew up in the land of retail. My father was a drug store manager and my mom usually worked on and off with him. Waaaay back in those days, child labor was a given. Rather than hire a sitter, my parents set me up on a box pricing items when I was 5 years old. By 11, I knew how to run a register, count change and “Paper Moon” was a quick study against flim-flam artists. I didn’t whine and generally enjoyed the feeling of being helpful. Customer service was priority and when on duty, I called dad “Mr. Carter.”
At the same time, I learned how frustrating and aggressive the shopping public can be.
Today’s events at a Long Island Wal-Mart proved to me that shoppers have gotten to a point of literally killing someone over a bargain. Retail work is grueling, underpaid, and thankless. No one appreciates a well-stocked shelf or an uncluttered toy aisle, but the minute an item is off the shelf, John Q. Public is annoyed and griping. Today, some poor clerk got in the way of an obnoxious stampede and people literally trampled him to death. Several others were injured and police were telling folks to back off from the scene.
Is a $15 blender or a $5 Hannah Montana doll worth a person’s life? People have evacuated disaster zones with less chaos. Even the 9/11 Commission reports, “Despite these obstacles, the evacuation was relatively calm and orderly.42”
My father used to complain about opening the store doors on sale days, noting the skill it took to unlock the door and literally jump out of harm’s way. Making the challenge more difficult was the store safe that sat by the entrance. When fully opened at a 90-degree angle, the door and its handle touched the safe.
One young clerk wanted to be the one in charge of opening the door for the after-Christmas sale. With persistent begging, dad handed over the keys. The young man strutted up to the door with a self-important gait, unlocked the door and woosh, he was captured between the door and the safe like a specimen under glass. Thankfully he was thin and it gave my dad and other employees a good laugh.
Today, no one laughed when the crowd ripped the doors off the frame and sent a young stock clerk to his holiday grave.

Photo credit: Augustine for News
Published: 11/28/2008 12:03:07

Holiday Giving

2008-11-25T23:30:00.006-05:00

During the holidays, we see more hands out and more hand-outs during the giving season. We are giving thanks, giving gifts and, of course, giving what we can to others.
While all this serves great purpose, there are underlying currents that keep my soul stirred. Too often I see people who use donations as a way to make themselves feel better without any real thought to what their giving means to the recipient. In essence, the donor is giving blindly, patting himself on the back and no further thought is given to the charity.
Others give as though it were a burden and they are leveling the karma playing field. Squeezing out donations is a painful process for them and, like giving birth to a child, they see their effort as one that will pay off in the future when the roll is called up yonder.
Some people give because they don't want to be bothered. They give to the first in line and then announce to the rest, "Leave me alone, I've already given."
On the other side of the exchange is the recipient. Asking for donations during the winter holiday season is like shooting into a barrel of fish. Preying on the gullibility and guilt of the average American reaps big bucks. "Please sir, may I have more?"
My point here, lamb chops, is that we need to paaay attention to what we are doing. Give wisely, give intently and give a little of yourself. Give at other times, too. Don't throw out dollars and forget about the needs during the rest of the year. If you are willing to give hard-earned dollars to an agency, know what they do with YOUR money. Pay attention to their needs and respond in kind. Add a little elbow grease to the mix and show a vested interest.
This year, I am supporting a local agency that has some creative fund-raising skills for a great cause. Triad Health Project hosts a "Winter Walk for AIDS" the first weekend of December. Teams are formed and approximately 2,000 people will put forth a united front to help build awareness and funds for an agency that benefits the entire community. Victims of AIDS can seek assistance through the agency; testing is provided to anyone, anonymously and for free; along with other great services.
I also plan to jump in next spring when THP holds their annual "Dining with Friends" event. Each host invites friends for dinner and asks the guests to make a donation equivalent to the value of the meal. For dessert, everyone heads downtown for a huge gala with music, dancing and celebration. Often, dinners are themed with friends dressed accordingly. People arrive dressed for luaus, pajama parties, mardi gras and anything else an imaginative host can coordinate.
All of this is great fun, but AIDS is also a very serious cause and one that has declined in interest in spite of the incline in the infected population. Look around you, see what's out there and give with your heart.
Of course, if you can't find anything that suits you, visit my team's webpage where online donations are accepted!

Hell hath no fury like a MotrinMom

2008-11-16T22:16:00.007-05:00

Until now, my experiences in watching the power of Twitter in action from day to day has been like going from skates with keys to a Lambourgini. Today's TwitteReaction to Motrin's newest ads took me to Mach 1.
Coinciding with International Baby Wearing Week, the Motrin ad attempts to connect with aches and pains of motherhood focusing on the strain of carrying a tot in a sling. Moms (and dads) go through a lot of pain out of love for their kids. However, the ad has become a royal pain in the ass for folks that see it as a slam.
TwitteReaction has tracked comments ranging from disdain over Motrin's implication that baby slings are a fashion statement to seeking sincere retractions from the company.
While parents are sending signals over slandered slings and issuing kudos over effective social media efforts, Tweeters in another corner are recommending Motrin for dads dealing with the manic moms and suggest the squealers put forth similar efforts into more justifiable causes like homelessness, world peace, and other altruistic causes.
In less than 24 hours, the social media stir has literally shut down Motrin's webpage and emails from Motrin's VP of Marketing Kathy Widmer have been issued. Still, many baby toters are boycotting and banking on more action from the company before putting down arms.
As a side, Motrin is produced by Johnson & Johnson, a company that has put consumers, medical providers and employees first in their credo. The company's mission statement is held in high regards as an example for others to follow.
I strongly believe in everyone's right to an opinion and in sharing those opinions with folks that can instigate change. At the same time, I oppose the crowd mentality, the confused sheep that bleat before they think, running from the safety of the pen to the open highway without looking both ways.
Johnson & Johnson is pulling the video ads but print ads will be out there. Beating a dead horse will only cause more headaches and sore butts. The folks at Johnson & Johnson do not appear to be wolves in sheeps' clothing, but instead are probably just like your neighbors, trying to make a living in spite of baaaaaad aaaaadvertising.

SC priest bans Obama lambs

2008-11-16T00:21:00.010-05:00

While some folks are trying to keep church out of politics, a South Carolina priest is putting politics on the front pew, telling his flock to flee communion if they voted for Obama. Instead of keeping them in church and teaching his parishioners why he thinks they should repent and why Obama is supposedly so baaaad for allowing freedom of choice, the patron saint of polls is dipping into the holy water and washing his hands of them.
I do want to at least thank the Father for giving us a steadfast example of “throwing the baby out with the bath water.” Obama’s stance on abortion rights was pretty low on the list of important issues facing Americans so if this priest had to go through the higher points before reaching one that went against his church standards, I’d say there’s a lot of reasons to be FOR our president-elect!
I always thought Christians taught forgiveness, tolerance and understanding. Yet some people seem to think that they have risen to such high esteem in God’s eyes that they are more than just the right hand of the Lord.
“Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I voted for Obama and I’m proud of it.”
“You are not forgiven, but just in case, say 10 Hail Mary’s and 5 Our Father’s before grabbing your hand basket and heading out the front door towards Hell.”

Photo by Julie A. Wenskoski from www.freedigitalphotos.com

Anti-Gay Cash Cows

2008-11-13T20:13:00.006-05:00

No bull about it, a source has herded together a list of donors that funded the California Proposition 8 campaign. As I perused the list, a number of thoughts came to mind. Rather than keep my quandries quiet, my points will be pondered here.

Donating to a poltical cause is public information which translated means "putting your money where your mouth is." Where you spend money speaks volumes if the right people are observant. Sarah Palin shifted responsibility to the Republican National Committee for spending big bucks at Saks Fifth Ave. and denies ownership of the purchases. PETA is known for stalking furriers and TMZ points out the stars of Starbucks. Companies vie for celebrity endorsements in marketing efforts.
As consumers, we should be savvy and determine whether a product meets our needs and if the producer compromises our beliefs in any way. Most little lambs are inclined to travel down the chute, grabbing from the trough while being sheared without considering their consumer power. Looking at the list of Prop 8 donors, I wonder if they considered the potential implications of their contributions and if patrons have linked their own dollars with the purchases they made.
For example, a woman is going through a divorce and pays hundreds of dollars to an attorney. She goes home and cries on her brother's shoulder while his partner fixes the family's dinner. That evening, the attorney goes home and receives a call from the Prop 8 campaign asking for money, relating to his intense homophobia. The barrister has discretionary income and is happy to oblige. If our divorcee knew that she indirectly funded Prop 8 would she have selected a different attorney?
Would a lesbian want to see a gynecologist that was opposed to same-sex marriages? A funeral home that funds the Prop 8 campaign should not be offering comfort to the life partner of an AIDS victim. The CPA that is against gay marriage is certainly not looking out for their homosexual client's best interest when doing taxes.
Yet, in all these instances, how many of us would actually ask pertinent questions. What if every provider we used had to pass an interview? They shouldn't take our patronage for granted!
Money talks baaaack. Listen to your dollars and let them speak to your heart.

Prop8 or Prop-hate?

2008-11-12T21:59:00.004-05:00

On January 1, 1994 I had been married 11 years and had two small children. My husband and I sat down to talk about the problems we were having. It was a new year and I was creating an opportunity to start fresh. Our arguments and his general mood had progressively worsened. He wasn’t happy and neither was I.
The discussion was sane and amicable but the lines were drawn. We both needed to commit 100 percent to mending the relationship or there was no need in going further. He agreed but wanted time to think. As we both took in a deep breath, I felt like I had literally been hit with a lightening bolt. I don’t know where the question came from or why I asked at that moment. I certainly wasn’t prepared for the answer.
“You’re gay, aren’t you?”
He paused and responded, “Yes.” Tears welled up in his eyes.
I crossed the room to where he was sitting and knelt down, hugging him, reassuring him.
“It’s okay,” I said. “At least now I know what is wrong and why you’ve been so miserable.”
He hadn’t acted on his homosexuality. He certainly didn’t choose to be gay. He wanted desperately to meet society’s definition of normal. “I wanted the house with the white picket fence and the 2.3 children and a station wagon in the driveway,” he said. He knew he found men attractive but assumed it was natural curiosity and suppressed his feelings. The harder he tried to suppress his natural feelings, the more unsettled he became.
I wasn’t angry with him for being gay because I knew it wasn’t his fault. And I certainly knew it wasn’t my fault! I was always aware of people that were homosexual but their sexuality didn’t affect me. News stories and documentaries of people scorned or abused based solely on what happens behind closed doors appalled me. I offered my then-husband support as he ventured ahead in life with his true self while mourning the loss of the life we had planned together.
I could (and may) write a book about the intricacies that followed. We divorced but still raised our children as a united force. We hung out with mutual friends, fought, laughed and loved others. Expounding upon those issues at this time however, would not suit the purpose of this blog.
My purpose for “coming out” with a personally sacred topic is to speak to the issues surrounding Proposition 8 in California. I’m straight, and live on the east coast in a notch on the Bible belt so why should I care? My heart tells me others are hurting. My head tells me California is full of progressively-minded people yet the majority voted for this atrocious proposition.
According to proponents, the proposition merely defines marriage: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California." Still, they had a basketful of scare tactics creating smoke and mirrors for the general populace.
Anyone that will use a child as a shield is repugnant yet people succumb to ridiculous fears. The California school system, like most, provides comprehensive sexual health education in grades K-12 including “the legal and financial aspects and responsibilities of marriage and parenthood…Instruction and materials shall teach respect for marriage and committed relationships.” Pro-prop8ers insist that kindergarteners will become indoctrinated to man-man and woman-woman marriages.
Let’s stretch the imagination to believe a teacher would sit in a circle with 30 5-year-olds for just such instruction. She holds up a felt board with three female figures and three male figures. “Now boys and girls, I bet you are familiar with families that have a Mommy and Daddy who are married.” She places a female and male on the board together. “But in some families there are two daddies (male and male figures are side by side) and some have two mommies (two felt fems side up together).” If the teacher does as the school code says, she would continue, “In all of these cases, these people love each other, respect each other and are married or committed to each other.”
The children now know that relationships are important and that they should respect those relationships. Pausing to think a moment.
Since I don’t see a problem there, let me delve a bit further. Perhaps the issue that pro-prop8ers have is kids learning about sexual intercourse between same-sex partners. I’d have to take issue there as well, since school systems focus on reproduction in health classes. Telling kindergarteners about any form of bedroom romp is generally not in the lesson plans.
Children live in a world surrounded by adults who are single, divorced, unmarried couples, in May-December relationships, interracial marriages, and homosexual parents.
To support children and families, society stresses the importance of committed parents. Yet people who want to take the step of signing paperwork and want to be recognized as a married couple are being denied these rights based on sexual origin.
My children were told the truth about our divorce. We told them it was not a secret but that they should be very, very careful who they shared their story with because most people wouldn’t understand.
That was 15 years ago and it looks like most people still don’t understand.

Addendum to "Fall" blog

2008-11-06T22:23:00.003-05:00

When I finished the video I asked my 19-year-old son if he wanted to see it. "Sure," he said. After watching it he said, "Good song." Such a dry sense of humor, that kid.
"What about the pictures?"
"I see them all the time."
"What? My photos?"
"No - trees - they're everywhere."
I gave him a look. He chuckled in amusement and said, "Well, maybe after I spend eight months in the desert I'll be more excited about seeing pictures like that."
He is going in the Army in a couple of weeks.
He'll need that humor, just like I needed mine to raise him."

Fall in North Carolina

2008-11-06T20:46:00.009-05:00

This was a stellar day with temperatures in the upper 70s and still riding the victory train from election day, I decided to take full advantage. Grabbing my camera, I headed out on errands and stopped at a couple of parks that are literally just a few miles from me. Even the horses next door were grazing next to the fence and looked when I called.
I enjoyed walking in the park because it had purpose. I wasn't just walking because I "should." I was taking pictures and taking in my surroundings. Fresh air and sunshine did my spirit good. I was able to revisit some places I haven’t seen in a while and along the way met a couple of interesting people.
Memories of raising my own children were dusted off when I encountered a couple with two young children. I smiled hearing exasperation in the father’s voice as he responded to the incessant “whys.” Several cyclists and joggers shared my path as I wound around to a small pond.
I asked the man fishing if he minded being in my photos.
“When I am out here, nothing bothers me,” he said. He shared a few fish tales including one about a resident heron. The bird waits patiently. If the man catches a small brim, he throws it out and the bird grabs it.
“I’ve fed that bird as many as five or six fish.” Smart bird.
As I headed down the path again, a woman was walking her dachshund. The little dog had a lilt in her step and a huge grin with her tongue hanging slightly out. Her feet barely touched the ground as she scooted along. I couldn’t help but smile back.
“She seems very happy,” I told the woman. “She IS happy,” the woman responded. “I wish I had her optimism!”
I found the optimism contagious and am sharing my beautiful day here. Graze around your baaaaack yaaaard and I guarantee you will find a treasure.

A New Beginning

2008-11-05T02:17:00.003-05:00

When the news broke of Obama's victory, it felt like a veil was lifted. Fresh air and new hope have infiltrated the nation. As I listened to the news, watched Twitter comments and scoped news websites, I also scrambled through photos on Flickr and used them to compile my first video effort. The photos are low resolution so the quality isn't the greatest, but I still wanted to share my excitement. I hope your enjoyment is half of what I had in creating it.

Trick or treat?

2008-11-03T12:56:00.004-05:00

The Halloween stash can be hard to manage but with parental guidance and the mantra "all things in moderation" it is possible to succumb to temptation. Yet one North Carolina dentist is noted for offering monetary incentive, much like the tooth fairy, for kids to turn in their spoils. Paying $1 per pound, this cavity fighter is buying back Halloween treats and forwarding the confections to troops. According to the U.S. Department of Defense, this dentist is not alone.
I suppose it's better than the reaction from Willy Wonka's father. After trick-or-treating, Wonka had to watch his dad sort through the candy explaining why all of it was bad for the teeth. The entire booty was then thrown into the fire.
This particular N.C. dentist served in the military, yet he doesn't seem to remember that chocolate can not be sent to the troops. Items that melt are among restricted items and if shipped to soldiers, will be confiscated So what happens to those wonderful snack-size chocolate bars? Perhaps a candy burning can be organized and after that, the zealots can go after other things perceived unmoderated by lambkins in the populace. Books, rock music and movies have provided fuel for incineration at the hands of zealots who believe they have the monopoly on righteous beliefs.
Burn baaaaaaby, burn!

Positive choices

2008-10-30T22:11:00.003-04:00

When I took a class on interpersonal relationships (more years ago than I care to admit) the instructor stated that we always have a choice. Regardless of the situation or circumstance, there is absolutely, positively, undeniably a choice. I was among those in the class that said, "Not always - sometimes your back is against the wall, there are times ...." The teacher shook his head in opposition. "You may not like your choices, but they are always there."

After digesting his statement I realized he was right and even better, his statement is liberating. We are never stuck with one option. Even if someone has a gun to your head, you have a choice - do as you are told or don't. Ultimately you have the power of making the decision and accepting the consequences of your choice.

Taking choices a step further, you can opt to turn negatives into positives based on the choices you create for yourself, as proven by one woman's political statement. Shannon Bennett of Texas was tired of having the Obama political signs stolen from her yard. She had choices - she could have stopped putting out signs, she could have staked out the thieves, she could have whined to her local authorities. Instead, she made a better wheel - she bought 12 cans of spray paint and turned her front yard into one huge Obama sign! Innovative, positive and she's a great role model for thinking outside the box.

In Chapel Hill, North Carolina, Shawn Turschak was fed up with his McCain/Palin signs disappearing. Being an electrical engineer, he decided to send a shocking message to would-be criminals. Unfortunately, his first victim was a 9-year-old boy. Of course dad says the kid was just examining the sign. The child was also trespassing and should have been taught, like I was, if it's not yours, don't touch it! The police got involved, no one got in trouble.

Was the Chapel Hill Shocker wrong? No, just predictable. He took the easy choice and was vindictive in his quest to assault burglars. The kid probably deserved a pop on the hand but got a zap instead and there's always the danger of shocking the wrong person, sending them into deathly arrhythmia. I shudder to think about the potential for barbecued squirrels on this guy's lawn. Depending on the neighborhood, he could have ended up with a crowd for dinner. Heaven forbid the UNC Ram graze in his yard - Muttonchops anyone? He might end up with a bunch of Dookie(s) in his yard - GO BLUE DEVILS! But I digress ... The point is, Mr. Turschak was on a negative path that led to a positive charge. (Did you honestly expect me to avoid that electrifying pun?)

Realizing we have choices can make the world more enjoyable for us; creating positive choices can make us better for the world. A word of warning kids: There's still a lot of positively negative people out there - baaaaack awaaaay from the signs!

Seeing eye to eye

2008-10-29T12:48:00.002-04:00

Through the beauty of technology, the magic of networking and 30Threads.com I am sitting front and center, watching Senator Obama speak to a crowd in Raleigh. He remains consistent with his message, clarifies the slams issued by the opposition and keeps the energy high. All of these are expected and he delivers well. But there is something different today.

He stopped his speech, pointed to an area calling for medical personnel and stepped over to hand off water. He isn't just scanning the crowd when he speaks. He is actually looking at people, seeing them eye to eye. A short while later, he pointed to another person needing assistance. At the end of his speech, he looked into the crowd and asked about one of the victims. A thumbs up indicated all was well.

Seeing eye-to-eye on issues is visionary, seeing eye-to-eye with people is invigorating.

Kah-CHING!

2008-10-25T19:08:00.004-04:00

I believe in the underdog going for justice but in many lawsuits I wonder if the ends offer any benefit other than padding the litigator's pockets.
A court just ruled against Target, awarding $3.1 million to a woman who was falsely accused of using counterfeit $100 bills. The legal tender was issued before the clerk was even born, so his gut reaction was to issue an email warning to a half-dozen other businesses in the area. One of the other businesses receiving the warning happened to be the Belk Department Store where the Target customer works in loss prevention.
There are so many things wrong with this whole scenario that it's hard to know where to begin dissecting it - but I'm going to forge ahead.
First, I despise $100 bills. I don't carry huge chunks of cash around so I don't need large bills to keep my wallet from stretching. On the extremely rare occasion that I may opt to pay cash for something costing a few C-notes, I will ask the bank teller for them and go straight to the vendor - do not pass go, get out of jail free, run like yo' mama's screaming.
For those that choose to spend the big bills, be aware that a watchful thief will see how much change you receive and may assume there are more Ben Franklin photos hiding in your wallet.
Second, I have had my own argument with a very young sales clerk when I tried to spend an old $20. "This is counterfeit, I can't take it," the kid looked bored. "No it isn't, I just got it from the bank." I ended up giving her a newer bill and spent my old one elsewhere. So what? The kid was ignorant and working for minimum wage. We're lucky she can count change, much less recognize old bills. Oh wait, they don't actually have to figure the change any more do they?
Moving on, The woman filing suit works in security. I can't believe she doesn't have empathy for a merchant trying to be a good citizen and sending out warnings to others. Petty theft costs everyone, especially consumers. Has she never heard "err on the side of caution"?
Finally, a very public apology should have sufficed in this case. Target could have sent another email retracting their initial alert and simply saying, "Our clerk is an idiot, the bills are real." Give the woman a shopping spree to restore her dignity, make personal visits to the stores receiving alerts, say "I'm sorry."
Instead, this falsely accused woman has now potentially burdened Target shoppers with making up the losses in higher prices. Target gives millions to education, calculating a percentage of their sales profits. I wonder how much this Belk-security-guard-turned-millionaire will donate to charity.
Where's Judge Judy when we need her to knock some sense into these folks?

Eat your veggies

2008-10-24T22:40:00.003-04:00

Graphic artists do have a reputation for taking liberties with their designs practically creating a picture hunt game within any artwork. My OCD tendencies have my eyes picking out patterns in the most mundane places like wallpaper or mosaics however I have never been one to study a pack of brocolli like this woman did. Either the photographed brocolli was picked from a fairy garden or the artist got bored and photoshopped his (ahem) buds into the design. Either way, these folks are a bit green around the gills.
Speaking of buds, at least these were talking heads as opposed to the naughty bits people have found in advertising like Ikea, Camel cigarettes and Coca-Cola.
Are people finding this stuff because they are sexually repressed (when the design is phallic) or do they really have nothing better to do? I would say that I need to pay less attention to the nutritional charts and study the graphics more, but since I'm neither sexually repressed or bored, I'll leave the hunt to those with eagle eyes.

Virtual Jailbird

2008-10-24T01:05:00.003-04:00

Virtual reality players need to heed mama's warning to "play nice" or else they could end up in jail. Two Japanese co-workers hooked up their avatars for some pretend time in the digital matrix but when the man divorced without warning, the woman murdered her estranged VR spouse. Jailed on suspicion of computer hacking, the femme fatale faces up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine.
As kids, we pretended to shoot each other with our lethal index fingers and I had teenage friends that sank deep into their imaginations with Dungeons and Dragons. Even adults reenact battles in historic parks. This woman took fantasy to a new level when she pretended to kill her cartoon husband. Her fault is encroaching reality by manipulating her opponent's software.
Sabotaging another person's gear is no way to win a game and her efforts should have stayed within the confines of the computer screen. Why not dream up a hot new male avatar to make the ex-hubby jealous? Or go for the virtual plastic surgery to make herself desirable and unattainable?
I don't know how the Japanese correctional system functions, but one wonders if the jailed vixen can take Mario through a Bonus Round to earn coins for bail.

Palin Pumps It Up

2008-10-23T12:02:00.003-04:00

"The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize." - Olympia Dukakas as Clairee Belcher in "Steel Magnolias"

Looks like Palin has as much pump action on her feet as with her shotgun. Her Naughty Monkey "Double Dare" shoes are being snapped up on the web by her fashion followers. Eyeglass designer Kawasaki is thanking Palin for a surge in sales. A $750 Louis Vuitton bag hangs by Piper's side, looking more like a carry-on than a purse. Even little Trig's duds are linked at Pacifier's. Shameful spending using $150,000.00 from the Republican National Committee's budget is topped off with the irony of Palin's ability to accessorize with a Democratic scarf. One could compare her wasteful spending, total disregard to the plight of the working (and out-of-work) class, self-absorbed and self-righteous nature to the last eight years of Bush-onomics but McCain vehemently denies the likeness in his quest for the Oval Office. Aside from pointing out the vulgar abuses of power and spending in the Palin pack, my real reason for noting the expenditures is to cull the herd of flighty followers that actually pander to the trends established by a fashion fascist. Far from being a fashionista myself, I notice if someone appears sharply dressed or is disheveled but labels elude me. The fact that people have zoomed in on accessories only to mimic the style is appalling. Those that would choose their wardrobe off the backs of others exhibit the same wasteful spending and lack of independent thinking the RNC’s veep candidate exudes.
Before emulating the ewe, the flock needs to check for the wool-wearing wolf.

Johnny, Get your wrench!

2008-10-20T20:32:00.002-04:00

"Arab and Good Person are not antithetical to one another."
- Ben Affleck on Real Time with Bill Maher 10/17/08

Growing up, I learned the term "back-handed compliment" and John McCain exhibited the epitome of this idiom when he corrected a supporter's accusation of Obama being an Arab.
"No he's not," said McCain. "He's a good guy ... he's not an Arab." Ok, I'll give McCain the benefit of realizing he was correcting the woman with "No he's not" and at the same time trying to reinforce that Obama is a good person instead of being a potential terrorist. I suppose it would be easy for any of us fumble our words and hope that people understand our intent.
Such fallibility has passed my own lips however, I am not running for President of the United States. The person that sits in the hot seat of this universe needs to choose his or her words carefully. Not only did McCain give a back-handed insult to Obama, he insulted every Arab. Way to go Johnny Maverick. Ya might wanna see if Joe the Plumber will take you on as an apprentice because your blunders are landing harder than a caribou hit between the eyes with a 30-ought-six round nose.

Breaking the Stepford Mold

2008-10-18T22:10:00.000-04:00

As promised in my Oct. 14 blog, solutions to the educational crises in America are available. One of the struggles is bureaucracy in the national educational system. The rest of the world is changing yet schools are stagnant in their efforts to challenge, stimulate and prepare kids for the future.
I came across “The Ron Clark Story,” a movie about one educator who dared to make a difference. By watching the special features on the DVD, I learned that the story was pretty close to real life and it prompted me to do more research online.
Ron Clark is originally from Aurora, NC and after teaching there several years, he heard that teachers were needed in Harlem. He packed up, moved to New York and managed to find a position at an elementary school. The principal was hesitant, but Ron took the worst class in school and by the end of the year, their test scores were the best in the school, exceeding the gifted and talented class.
After winning Disney’s Best Grade 3-6 Teacher Award and National Best Teacher award in 2000, he was invited to the Oprah Winfrey Show. Producers in Los Angeles saw the show and contacted Ron to make a movie about his story. Ron also wrote “The Essential 55” based on rules in the classroom that hit the best seller list. The rules address issues for getting along in the classroom, teach respect and lead kids to perform better in school.
With the proceeds from the book, he opened The Ron Clark Academy in Atlanta which will be a model for charter schools across the nation. He will have visitors from around the world to see innovative ideas for teaching. Looking at the list of board members is like reading a “Who’s Who” directory.
I highly recommend the movie to anyone interested in better education. For a glimpse into the academy visit http://www.ronclarkacademy.com/

ConvergeSouth '08

2008-10-18T17:12:00.000-04:00

Far from being a part of the flock, the participants at ConvergeSouth 2008 are definately herders. A newbie to blogging, this was my first experience at a related conference and my head is still spinning. I'll be spending a great deal of time catching up to the technology and people that I met. Perhaps this has put me in the category of "ewe" but I'm glad to be following these folks! Definately NOT a baaaaad experience.

Stepford Schools

2008-10-15T01:37:00.000-04:00

I can be picky to a fault. If something doesn’t look right, I’ll point it out or ask about it. Remember the “Emperor’s New Clothes” and how everyone was ooohing and ahhhing over the guy’s fine threads until the kid yelled out, “He’s not wearing anything!” I prefer a more subtle approach and try not to be rude but if something is bared before me, it’s got my attention.

I submitted my resume for the local school system’s consideration – I know, I’m crazy but that’s another subject. Part of the pre-employment brouhaha includes going to a website to take the Haberman Star Teacher questionnaire. By answering 50 questions, this analyzes a person’s durability as a teacher, ability to handle situations and other enlightening skills and abilities. This site describes the 10 dimensions assessed and I found a couple of them worthy of discussion.

The first one is “persistence.” To paraphrase, the test can determine if a potential teacher can work with kids who have behavioral and learning problems on a daily basis for 180 days. The description alone is enough to make a person turn and run!

Another dimension is the ability to “Survive in a Bureaucracy.” The whooshing sound is the red flag whizzing by your ear as it runs up the pole. This interesting point “predicts the likelihood that the respondent will be able to function as a teacher in large, depersonalized organization.” (sic)

No matter how you break this one down, the stench is the same – Schools have become robotic and bureaucratic, embracing the educators that can put up with it. What happened to seeking teachers who are creative, innovative and independent? I suppose if a teacher can tolerate restrictive and unbending administration, the problem kids are a piece of cake.

I must offer kudos to the one that developed this assessment. They managed to design a tool that seeks perpetuators of the biggest problem in schools and recognized that school systems actually want these people! Even better, they charge money for administering the online test. I thought drug dealers were the only ones that knew how to sell you something that is bad for you and make you believe it’s what you want.

Don’t despair – there are innovative and exciting people making huge changes in our educational system. Check baaaaack for solutions in my next entry.

And how did I do on this test you ask? I haven’t taken it yet because the sign-in information the school system gave me is incorrect!

Palin's Packing Heat

2008-09-08T18:59:00.000-04:00

Telling you how to vote would go against the very principle of my blog. You should think about your own values and needs and make your own decision. What I can do is throw a few morsels out that you can chew on while you ponder the choices.

Often, the most obvious imperfections can be masked by simple illusions. Sarah Palin flew out of John McCain’s pocket quicker than a dove from David Copperfield’s handkerchief. Dainty, delicate and dandy to look at, Palin balances McCain’s heavy hand. He seems to be banking on her ability to lure flies with honey but voters need to watch out for the SNAP of the Venus Flytrap!

My best friend raised four children and rebuked some of the commentary on Palin’s speech during the republican convention. “They kept saying how she had presence and commanded attention,” my friend said. “The woman’s got five kids – she damn well better have the ability to command attention! If she can’t then there’s something wrong!”

As we further considered this little barracuda that could potentially be the country’s first female executive, we thought of Palin’s human side. She is a woman that has birthed five children and still has the figure of a beauty queen. She manages to put herself together with make-up, hair, and clothes all impeccable. She has incredibly long days and a magnificent smile at the end of the evening. Someone needs to tell this bitch the women’s movement is OVER! We tried to have it all and realized that we can’t. Palin has help. She has someone to clean the governor’s mansion, she has assistants, and her older kids watch over the younger ones. She’s not car-pooling little league, cruising Wal-Mart, cutting her kids’ hair, or on her hands and knees icing down gum in the carpet.

This VP Hopeful is also teetering on the edge of (eeeeekkkkk) the change. “Do we really want a menopausal woman with her finger on the trigger of nuclear weapons?” said my friend. Hormones can rock the most solid foundations. A woman approaching middle age with the weight of the world on her shoulders and five children on her back is worse than the scariest of Stephen King’s novels.

As you are herded into the voting booth, don’t be sheepish about your choices – one wrong move and we’re in for a baaaaaad dream.

Shotgun Wedding

2008-09-06T22:16:00.000-04:00

"It is not easy to construct by mere scientific synthesis a foolproof system which will lead our children in a desired direction and avoid an undesirable one. Obviously, good can come only from a continuing interplay between that which we, as students, are gradually learning and that which we believe in, as people."

— Erik Homburger Erikson (1902-1994)

Erik Erikson developed the theory that there are eight stages of psychosocial development in a person's life. We may go through them systematically, and develop as well-rounded, functional beings. Sustain a jolt during one of the stages and a person can get stuck or develop in an unhealthy way. He believed that a person having psychological problems could revisit the related area of development, pinpoint the issue that caused the derailment and, voila' a healthy mental state is returned. (Yes, I'm severely paraphrasing here but it's hard to squeeze a semester of psychology into one paragraph!)

Now, take this theory and apply it to an entire family. Mom and Dad may be teetering between nurturing and over-extending themselves, while a younger child is at the stage of developing confidence and a teenager is trying to gain identity and direction. A nuclear bomb has nothing on a volatile mix of life stages under one roof.

Imagine that mom and dad are still married, both working hard, involved in their kids' lives, and (SURPRISE) mom is pregnant. Not only does the teenager have confirmation that her parents actually have sex (yuck) but now all her friends know and so does everyone else! In the search for autonomy, independence and setting her own direction, she becomes intimate with her boyfriend. Mom gives birth and immediately learns she's going to be a grandmother.

The situation is difficult for anyone but most families will find a way to quietly work out their problems. But wait! This family is now in a glass house and running for a spot at the white house - make that THE White House. Now everyone in the entire United States, and most of the free world, know what this teenager has been doing and she still has to put on a show at center stage.

As for the hockey player that was high-sticking without protection - he's not escaping and Maury Povich won't rescue him with a paternity test. Mom the Republican is a card-carrying member of the NRA and she's calling the shots. To salvage family values, demonstrate good will, and save mom's campaign, these kids are planning a wedding. Regardless of how they may feel, whether it's puppy love, true love or an experiment in love, these youngsters have an Elephant's gun pointed at their backs.

Good luck kids - you'll need it!

Brain Strain

2008-08-23T23:31:00.000-04:00

Letting others draw conclusions and define opinion is so much easier than thinking through issues alone. At least, that must be the reason that people are quick to jump on a bandwagon before checking the wheels.

I have a friend that is a strong republican. He forwards emails to me that bash Obama but I don't complain since I know how to use my "delete" button. On Friday, CNN reported that some delegates were heading to the democratic convention with the intention of voting for Hilary Clinton. These representatives feel that if their state voted for her then they should reflect their voters' preference. The reporter went on to say that it was a type of homage to Clinton's efforts. She has publicly backed Obama and both candidates reflect a united party.

Today, my friend sent an email that quotes obscure news reports of Clinton's plans to fight for the nomination at the convention. My next email is from the Clinton campaign saying the senator is looking forward to the convention and supports Obama.

I see my friend falling into the same category as many others: If the information falls somewhere within your range of beliefs, who cares if it is accurate - forward it! Personally, I prefer to dig for the truth before I send an email to others that publicly demonstrates my gullibility and lack of independent thinking.

The same process is true in many other instances. I have witnessed people fabricate information even though they had no understanding of a situation. They tell their friends and suddenly everyone believes complete nonsense!

The negativity and falsehoods people spread can be overwhelming. Chicken Little had the whole barnyard in a panic and as a child, I couldn't figure out who was worse - the chicken sounding the alarm or the animals that listened. Frankly, they all got on my nerves.

For you sheep that didn't get the moral of the story, just know that it is baaaad to believe everything you hear and look up at the sky next time someone tries to make you believe it is crumbling.

Cold War Heats Up

2008-08-15T23:26:00.000-04:00

Mrs. Newton taught our 7th grade Social Studies class. She was a petite woman with short gray hair that was kept styled with slight curls and a bit of teasing. She always had her make-up just right though she did have more than her share of wrinkles and deep furrows along her brow - probably from teaching hormonal tweens. Her lips were accentuated with lipstick and she usually had them drawn tight. I honestly don't ever remember her smiling.

It was the early 70s and my generation was aware of the Vietnam War and heard about the horrors of POW camps. Metal bracelets were worn that bore the name of a soldier missing in action or known to be captured, probably a precursor to today's colored bands for various causes.

Early in the semester, Mrs. Newton was showing a film strip in class. As the record played the narration, there was a "ding" to tell the student media assistant when to advance the frame. As the voice droned on about government issues, eyelids got heavier. "COMMUNISIM!" Mrs. Newton screeched and heads popped up, some slower than others. Mrs. Newton was walking to the front of the class pointing to the image on the screen. "Ding" The man continued narrating and the kid at the projector didn't know what to do but like Pavlov's dog, turned the knob for the next image. "No, no, no! Turn it back," the teacher flapped her arms, furrowed her brow more and had her lips pierced together. Even at the time, I thought she looked like an angry parrot. "Communism is everywhere (ding!) and turn that record off!" Most of us stared blankly wondering if she'd flipped and a few snickered. "It's not funny! You think you are safe here in America? They could come anytime, they live among us! Communists want to take over the world!"

By now, her eyes were shooting daggers and she moved them across the room. Thirty 12-year-olds sat in silence. It's hard to know what to do when you think your teacher is having a nervous breakdown. The bell rang. As we gathered our books and started to leave the room, she raised one arm with her finger pointed in the air. "We must fight communism! They will take over if we let them!"

Word spread quickly about the incident and someone learned from an upper class member that Mrs. Newton was well-known for her speeches on communism. We relaxed a bit, glad that she was at least consistent. As the semester went on, she would jolt us with a reminder of the red scare that was knocking on our shores and we would smile or nod to appease her. At home, I admit, her words would resonate and I would keep a watchful eye on the news wondering if there was an imminent threat.

As the Cold War ended and agreements of nuclear disarmament were created, Americans did become complacent. The actions on 9/11 jolted us into the reality that we did not live in a plastic bubble. Our soldiers have gone to battle, fought the bad guys, then moved and fought the other bad guys. We stand in lines at the airport hoping we are safer, wondering if confiscated shampoo is just a facade for the ineptitude of the entire Homeland Security system. Even the name sounds like something out of a television ad for home alarm systems.

As we go on day to day, a bit more cautious but again relaxed, we now have Russia bombing Georgia. I admit, I did a double take the first time I heard the news on television, envisioning the scene in "Red Dawn" when Russian soldiers parachute onto the mid-western school yard. I realized that we were not being attacked on our own southern coast and then wondered why Russia was being aggressive.

Americans are still battling Al Qaeda, now the Russians are causing a senseless stir, the Chinese are none to happy with us, and Korea keeps playing hide and seek with their nukes.

Mrs. Newton is probably long gone, but her words are clearer now than ever before - Communists want to take over the world. So, little lambs, we must be aware of what the baaaaaaad men are doing or we will be skewered and hanging over the fire pit. Knowledge is the real power.

Authority Priority

2008-08-01T22:35:00.000-04:00

A wolf with a shepherd's hook does not make the best herder; yet the public continually gets led by false authority figures. For many years, Jesse Jackson has been in media interviews representing various causes. He managed to ride the coattails of Martin Luther King, Jr. and has hopped into the limelight whenever possible. Throughout his career he has made gaffes fueling satire over his lack of verbal coherency, an affair resulting in a child, and showing up in any location where there is perceived racial injustice.
In spite of his cartoonish reputation, there are people who actually believe he is worthy of respect and an expert in race relations and civil unrest.
With elections looming in the near future, media outlets are pulling in people who are supposed analysts, experts, and party representatives. I listen to them state their cases, argue against opposing views, and give opinions about how campaigns will progress. I've even heard a couple of people say, in a disguise of verbosity, that they didn't have a clue what is happening or would happen.
I listen to interviews and news bites with a dissecting ear. Unraveling the conversations, I toss the waste and hold some tidbits of information to compare to later news stories or to investigate further on my own.
My frustration comes from knowing that other people don't care. They take the news stories for face value, listen to faux-experts and plug the information into their belief system. Unfortunately, these baaaaaad sheep are then herded into the polls and vote for politicians. Later, the herd bleats about how the politician changed after getting into office. NO! The politician doesn't change. Instead, the wool is pulled away from the public's eyes and they finally are faced with facts that were there all along.
Grab the shears before it's too late and really look at the wolves that are feeding you!

Prisoners of War

2008-07-13T12:03:00.000-04:00

The debate over staying in Iraq continues in the middle of a tumultuous election year. Even though there seems to be at least two sides to the debate over the war - stay or go - there is a lot of commonality. No one wants to see American soldiers die; no one wants to give terrorism any advantage; everyone is concerned about the economy with loss of jobs and homes and increased pricing on everything. Beyond those points, we can agree to disagree.

Facts and figures are floating around as American soldiers continue to face numerous hardships. Among their strifes are multiple tours of duty. Not only are troops spending long periods of time in Iraq, they come back to the United States for a short time only to return again - not just once, but two and three times! As one seasoned veteran noted, "We don't even have a draft - these soldiers are enlisting voluntarily and are being treated like this!" Enlisted personnel are returning stateside with post-traumatic stress syndrome and bodily injuries. With advancements in medical treatments, wounds that used to cause death can now be healed but with greater ongoing needs for the patient.

U.S. Government leaders are pouring lives and money into a seemingly bottomless pit while Americans watch with disbelief and inaction. Perhaps alternatives need to be considered - alternatives that could save funds and valuable lives. Instead of recruiters telling blatant lies to entice new recruits, prison sentences should incorporate clear statements warning offenders that instead of jail time, they will have war time.

Audible wails can be heard from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), Amnesty International, anti-violence groups, death row opponents, and other prisoner advocates. Still there are a number of logical arguments for the move to use prisoners as troops:

No more idol threats and long appeals. A guilty verdict that commands a sentence of more than six weeks is an automatic sentence to boot camp. Military camps are guarded, supervised, provide food and shelter, exercise, organization and routine. All of these elements would provide discipline and continuity to a population that is recognized as unruly.

Budget savings for Department of Defense and Department of Corrections. Less prisoners incarcerated in jails will lessen the budget for food, shelter, medical needs, as well as address over-crowding. The DOD will gain recruits but will not have to pay salaries. As long as prisoners' basic needs are being met with food, shelter and clothing, they should not receive a salary like their volunteer counterparts.

Reduction of crime. Knowing that crimes are punishable by active military duty will cause many to think twice before committing violence. "Boyz 'n da hood" may fight war on the streets but the potential of facing war in Iraq may lead them to find peace in the middle east-side.

Built-in Rehabilitation. On-the-job training is more economical and would give prisoners actual experience rather than skills learned behind bars. Society's outcasts would also gain fitness training and better potential for drug and alcohol recovery. Prisoner advocates declare that many criminals are misguided, feel useless, powerless, and are acting out their anger. Putting them in the military will give them the tools needed to create purpose in their lives.

Currently, felons can not enter the military. Law states they can not carry or own guns. If these laws were changed, prisoners could be armed and sent to attack the enemy instead of released to the streets to harm innocent citizens. Redirect their anger and their skills through rehabilitation and let them protect America instead of violate her.

Many would argue against such a preposterous proposal:
What would keep these prisoners from harming innocent recruits? Prisoners would be delegated to specific units. Based on good behavior, they could be integrated into standard units and even apply for specific areas of service. Imagine these prisoners actually learning and gaining self-esteem to the point they want to serve!

What if they were wrongly accused of their crime? Appeals would be possible but the months and years between court dates and hearing could be filled with serving their country.

How can we justify risking the lives of prisoners? If America can justify over-crowded prisons, violence behind bars, lethargy, lack of exercise and perpetrating negative energy for the incarcerated, justification of turning them into productive soldiers will be a breeze.

What about veteran's benefits? Serving sentencing in active duty would only gain the prisoner life skills learned on the job and perhaps a stipend to start anew upon release. If they choose to re-enlist, then prior time served could be added to future years of duty for accumulation of regular VA benefits.

Using prisoners can save American tax dollars on the home front and abroad while providing rehabilitation to society's outcasts. As the war continues and volunteers become scarcer, the potential for drafting young men and women increases. The process of herding troops baaaaack into action is abominable. Americans can no longer stand sheepishly aside while assuming the government will solve the criminal and military problems that abound. Alleviate the burden of the few and proud and distribute the dirty work to the under-utilized.

News Views

2008-07-05T14:23:00.000-04:00

Producers and editors decide what to show in the news and without question the public dutifully absorbs whatever tidbits they are thrown. The stories may be about hostages and wildfires but viewers and readers rarely complain about being held hostage by their televisions while being fried at the flanks.

We have 24-hour news services but they only run the same stories repeatedly. And anyone in a hurry has the option of a 24-hour headline channel! Instead of digging for news and offering stories in ways that might present a broader scope of issues, the media has gotten tunnel vision focusing on the almighty dollar.

Recent coverage focused on the rescue of hostages in Columbia. Reports revealed a simplistic plan: locate the hostages, fly a helicopter in and take the hostages out. The helicopter was an old one previously used by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Columbia (FARC). Oddly enough, when the chopper landed, and the rescuers pretended to be part of FARC saying, "We're moving the hostages" the real FARC didn't think about the fact that they no longer use helicopters!

This leaves lots of questions but the media will probably never pursue the answers. Why would rescuers risk using an old unused chopper? Why did it take the Colombian military more than five years to come up with this brilliant idea? Hollywood comes up with movies like this all the time! These wonderfully quick news stories also obscured details such as a total of 15 people were rescued. The blurbs mainly talked about the three Americans and Ingrid Betancourt, the French-Colombian political candidate. What about other hostage situations in the world? They happen yet the media doesn't seem to dwell on these incidents unless it is a media person or someone that is a high profile victim. Even then, if there is no activity for a few days, the media moves on.

Years ago, news reports actually had a running count of days the Iranian hostages were held. Each day something was announced regarding the atrocity. How unfortunate for the Colombian hostages that this form of publicity was forgotten. Perhaps with the media continually asking for status reports the rescuing governments would have to focus more on their strategies and the hostage takers would either have opportunity to tell their side or have the world enlightened to their guerrilla tactics.

As for the almighty dollar, the media has fallen victim to the pressures of advertisers and board room antics. The bottom line must be in black with significant cushion for the executives. In the meantime, reporters, like the rest of the general public, are forced to produce more with less. No one has the time to investigate the potential stories. Budgets are tightened, resources reduced and salaries held low. The reporter is forced to grab what flashes in front of him. Much like the search for lightning bugs on a hot summer evening, the ones that fly closest and brightest are more likely to end up caught and placed in the soda bottle. If the thumb doesn't remain tight on the bottle neck, then a story might escape. Eventually, the bottle comes inside for the contents to be examined, dissected and capped. Without enough breathing room and nutrition, the stories die overnight, just like the poor firefly. No one notices the dead ones though because they will be tossed quietly and replaced with a whole new batch that will light up the next evening's sky.

As world citizens, the public must demand more from their media services. No one should be happy just watching a flickering bug on occasion. Instead, our news sky needs to be lit up, making constellations out of the connections that can be made. Create a quick map of the world showing hostage situations, who is involved and why. Show the acreage that is being lost to arson, careless campers and lightening strikes by mother nature. The country should be shown ablaze like the map of Bonanza, after all a picture is always worth 1,000 words. Quit repeating stories every 10 minutes. Set schedules with headlines at the top of the hour followed by a tour of the world with news stories. After an hour around the world, go back to the headlines.

Part of the problem with the media is a lack of employees with critical thinking skills. Perhaps this is the problem with the world in general. Reporters don't always know what to ask, as though they are already supposed to have the answers. They find it easier to nod their heads and take notes rather than stopping the speaker for clarity. Some may ask questions but skew the answers because they don't understand the intent. If a child comes running in screaming that Little Timmy had his leg cut off by a car, the average adult would go investigate before assuming the story were correct. The outcome would probably reveal Timmy got a minor gash on the knee when cycling into a car bumper. Why, then, would anyone accept at face value a news story that is full of holes?

Viewers and readers need to demonstrate the importance of getting complete and accurate news. Demand clarity and praise intensity. Whatever you do, don't just sit baaaaack and aaaaaaccept mediocrity.

Politically Correct

2008-06-28T09:04:00.001-04:00

In 1984, James Finn Garner's book of "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories" was published. Titles, professions and ethnicities were gaining finely tuned verbiage and Garner managed to provide a plethora of options while poking fun at the absurdity of not calling the kettle black.

Yet, in real life, a speaker calling out the color of said utensil risks offending: a specific division of the human race; the manufacturer that chose the name "ebony;" and all kettle users that refer to the object's size and purpose rather than color.

Avoiding offensive phrasing is exhausting. Rather than looking at reality and the intent of the speaker, critics conclude that people are racist. People have become so conscious of being criticized they actually avoid any type of descriptive terms. A woman told me of a recent conversation she had with an acquaintance. The acquaintance mentioned a person and to clarify, my friend said, "Was she a black woman?" The acquaintance then said, "We don't refer to people like that." My question then is, how DO you refer to people?

What would happen if a crime victim couldn't use race as a way to describe their assailant?

Officer: "Can you describe the person that robbed the bank?"

Bank Teller: "I believe the person was male, or was dressed as a male. I mean, he, or maybe she, wore a loose fitting flannel shirt and jeans. I think the person had short hair, but maybe not because they were wearing a ball cap and the hair could have been tucked underneath. The person had rough hands from working hard but not all women have smooth hands."

Officer: "Did this person say anything? What kind of voice did they have?"

Bank Teller: "They just handed me a note."

Officer: "What else can you tell me about this person? Were they white? black? Indian?"

Bank Teller: "Well, officer, I'm sorry but I grew up in a home where we didn't use terms like that."

Officer: "Okay - so what terms DID you use?"

Bank Teller: "We only called people by their given names."

Officer: "So you wouldn't happen know the name of the robber would you?"

Bank Teller: "Oh, no, I guess I forgot to ask."

The debate over descriptive nouns continues with media outlets trying to find out what to call Barack Obama. They ask each other if he is black or should be considered mixed-race. One so-called expert classified as "African-American" stated Obama is "mixed."

Personally, I believe he is one of relatively few people that can accurately call themselves "African-American." I was taught that hyphenated ethnicity was used by people that were 1) from another country and settled in a new country; or 2) were born to parents of two different nationalities. So, a person coming from Italy and settling in America could be called "Italian-American" or a dad from Kenya and a mother from America (like Obama's parents) could produce an "African-American" child.

Oddly, the media reflects a public that stakes claims on celebrities. Mariah Carey's mother is a very fair-skinned white woman with blond hair and identified as Irish-American. Her father is Venezuelan and African-American. Yet her music and entourage reflects less diversity, demonstrating her identification as being black-American. Fans of color have been noted to appreciate her blackness while white fans seem to focus on her music. Why she has any fans, I don't know as I detest her random performance of scales and ear-busting high-Cs. I would save that discussion for another blog but I am not sure about wasting any more space on "Mimi."

I can not begin to fathom how people that are generations removed from another country can suddenly begin to claim allegiance to being another nationality. While I am proud that I have Dutch, German, English and American Indian heritages, I don't try to declare any nationality other than being completely "American."

Some would argue that identifying a person by their heritage or skin color is degrading. My belief is we should be able to proudly display who we are, but we should do so with accuracy. Describing ethnicity should be no different than identifying gender, hair length, clothing, height or eye color. Derogatory epithets are unnecessary, but to be "politically" correct, adjectives should have freedom within our vocabulary without fear of oppression.

Just linking - not thinking :)

2008-06-24T19:48:00.000-04:00

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Business before pleasure?

2008-06-22T20:02:00.000-04:00

A recent excursion put me in the fortunate position of meeting a woman that shared many commonalities with me. She is close to my age, a single mother with young adult children and she grew up in the same community as I. Our conversation drifted towards her son's decision to obtain his degree in business administration, find work and his place in society before even considering marriage.

"There are more important things in life than money," she said, adding that her son plans to wait until he is 30 before considering starting a family. I agreed and noted the tendancy of many career-minded adults doing the same thing. She said one of her son's college professors stressed the importance of having financial security before marriage.

While this sounds admirable, we wondered if this generation was dangling on a pendulum that is swinging to a far extreme. I was reminded of a movie I saw recently called "Idiocracy." A bit campy, it seems mindless on the surface but the premise is quite relevant. A man of mediocre intelligence is part of a government experiment in hibernation. A timely accident leaves him in his pod for 500 years. In a montage lasting just a few minutes, the movie shows how educated and career-tracked couples put off marriage and having children. Age and fertility issues obstruct the propagation of future intelligent generations and as a result the world evolves into a populace of moronic baby-machines. When the experimental guinea pig finally awakens, he is lauded as the most intelligent person on the planet.

Business majors are abundant and focus on the bottom line rather than seeing the interconnecting system that creates the red and black ink. Industry and businesses have long abandoned loyalty to employees in favor of high dollar profits for top executives. Stocks, investments, portfolios and interest rates are replacing the family conversations previously focusing on life, love, relationships and dating.

I pointed out that this mass production of business majors is creating a robotic generation that is following popular trend rather than making independent and personal decisions. While my acquaintance had not considered this, she did agree with my observation.

Perhaps these children have witnessed the struggles of their parents and are determined to find a better way of life. Unfortunately, their ideas of betterment may be those of an idealistic society rather than reality and the benefit of finding one's personal best. I would argue that the masses following the path of the often illusive dollar should occasionally look around the trail's side for some of life's free benefits.

Culling the Herd

2008-06-20T22:36:00.000-04:00

MuttonChops is not a reference to the large fuzzy swatches of whiskers on each side of Elvis' face. Instead, my reference has more ambiguous meaning and failure to grasp my intent may mean this blog and future posts will require the need of tutelage on your part.

Follow my logic for a moment if you dare ...

Mutton: sheep; flesh of said animal
Chops: cuts apart; breaks up; a specific cut of meat

This then brings me to an even better definition of "sheep"
noun
1. woolly usually horned ruminant mammal related to the goat
2. a timid defenseless simpleton who is readily preyed upon
3. a docile and vulnerable person who would rather follow than make an independent decision; "his students followed him like sheep"
sheep. (n.d.). WordNet® 3.0. Retrieved June 21, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sheep

Now, consider today's masses lacking independent thinkers. People are making major decisions, choosing homes, buying cars, and watching television based on perceived popularity. Advertisers and media fertilize the field and a public of lambs graze without question.

My intent is to stoke synapses in others. Call me the wolf, ripping apart the flock, tearing at the sheep skins; call me a radical; even better, call me a name you think of on your own! You will find I am not always against the popular view because the majority may be correct. Case in point: GW's ratings in polls. We are perfectly capable of seeing the emperor has no clothes and such recognition is not baaaaaad; however, open your eyes to actually see his naked nads before joining the chanting crowd.

I'll be back with more but first I must file my incisors and sharpen the axe blade.